Feb. 11, 2013: Onset of 'Drop'
February 11, 2013 (Monday):
So, I got in my truck just fine, started it okay as well and made the right turn going to Tulsa and missed the damn turn onto Hwy 412. I never missed that turn. I was thinking about nothing. I was driving in a fog on a most beautiful and clear day. No rain, no drizzle, no over cast, full sunshine and yet, I was in that fog which reduces the visibility and makes a person wander aimlessly and there are creatures in this fog which are shapless and yet, we know their shapes.
I got my beaings straight and stopped at the post office to pick up my mail. I put whole lot of it in the trash and then after realizing what was goin on, did the trash hunting and retrieved 'non-junk' mail. One of the letter was important. Then i stopped at McDonald and ordered coffee. The counter person handed me sweet tea! Now, how crazy that is. We both thought each other crazy....I was right though. She couldnt speak English....and come to think of it, neither can I.
I called Butch and Adam's voice mail came on. I called Rick and some women from a dry cleaner answered. I called Cathy and Cathy answered. And I was surprised. I arrived at the office safe and sound. Unlocked the door and stood there for a minute and wondered where the hell was I....and most importantly why was I here in the first place. Oh yeh, work...remember that four letter word. I sat on my desk and started pretending to work.
I looked out the window to a clear blue sky with high fluffy white clouds drifting lazily and I started hearing sobs and anguish and I felt the thuds of the heavy flogger and pain of its strikes and my shoulders sagged and I found myself hunched over my desk. I wanted to cry but no tears would come. I wanted to write but no words appear. And the fog thickened. The shreiks, the soundless shreiks which were only for my inner ears. An emptiness surrounded and nothingness. I was listening to silent cries and I felt sufferings and pain and cuts deep enough to touch the bones. I heard the phone and I thought it was a distant train or some other noise. I continued to stare at it and picked it only after it stopped ringing.
I decided to leave the office and went to see Butch at 51st and Peoria. I got there without getting lost. Obtained some paperwork from him. Then went to the bank and try to deposit money with the wrong deposit slip. Cashier looked at me...she kinda knows and thinks that I am a biker. She is cute. I have invited her to ride with me.....but told her the truth that I dont have a bike...yet. Anyway, that was straightened out just fine.
In the mean time, I am feeling cranky and pissed off at everything around. That asshole who was driving too slow, that douchbag who was talking on the cell phone instead of paying attention, the gas price on Quick Trip, that guy who was sitting on the bus stop, those freaking birds sitting on the electric lines...shoot, everything seemed totally fucked up today.
I stopped at McDoanld again but hell, it was Burger King. WTF. Anyway, I ordered veggie burger, paid my money, drove to office and started eating fish sandwich. Another of those WTF moment. So, here I am, eating my sandwich, minding my own business, scratching my balls, which is by golly, my God given right....and bam...I am back there again. listening to guarded sobs, then cries, cries of anguish and pain and sorrows, and the fog appears again. This time there are those mysterious songs of agony which breaks the shells of livers and causes the aches of unknown origins. And I said to myself...fuck this shit. This drop is horrible, hell, I havent even thought of sex in last 3 hours and that has to be some kind of sickness. Not only that, I havent been horny since all this took place....a big WTF.
But in all honesty, brothers and sisters and childrens, make no mistake.....you play hard ..you pay hard. There is no freebie, unless one is just fucking around and not in a good and honorable way. Well, if that happens, dont let it happen again. Ultimate responsibility of your safety, be it pysiccal, emotional or spirtual is still in your own hands.
So, I got in my truck just fine, started it okay as well and made the right turn going to Tulsa and missed the damn turn onto Hwy 412. I never missed that turn. I was thinking about nothing. I was driving in a fog on a most beautiful and clear day. No rain, no drizzle, no over cast, full sunshine and yet, I was in that fog which reduces the visibility and makes a person wander aimlessly and there are creatures in this fog which are shapless and yet, we know their shapes.
I got my beaings straight and stopped at the post office to pick up my mail. I put whole lot of it in the trash and then after realizing what was goin on, did the trash hunting and retrieved 'non-junk' mail. One of the letter was important. Then i stopped at McDonald and ordered coffee. The counter person handed me sweet tea! Now, how crazy that is. We both thought each other crazy....I was right though. She couldnt speak English....and come to think of it, neither can I.
I called Butch and Adam's voice mail came on. I called Rick and some women from a dry cleaner answered. I called Cathy and Cathy answered. And I was surprised. I arrived at the office safe and sound. Unlocked the door and stood there for a minute and wondered where the hell was I....and most importantly why was I here in the first place. Oh yeh, work...remember that four letter word. I sat on my desk and started pretending to work.
I looked out the window to a clear blue sky with high fluffy white clouds drifting lazily and I started hearing sobs and anguish and I felt the thuds of the heavy flogger and pain of its strikes and my shoulders sagged and I found myself hunched over my desk. I wanted to cry but no tears would come. I wanted to write but no words appear. And the fog thickened. The shreiks, the soundless shreiks which were only for my inner ears. An emptiness surrounded and nothingness. I was listening to silent cries and I felt sufferings and pain and cuts deep enough to touch the bones. I heard the phone and I thought it was a distant train or some other noise. I continued to stare at it and picked it only after it stopped ringing.
I decided to leave the office and went to see Butch at 51st and Peoria. I got there without getting lost. Obtained some paperwork from him. Then went to the bank and try to deposit money with the wrong deposit slip. Cashier looked at me...she kinda knows and thinks that I am a biker. She is cute. I have invited her to ride with me.....but told her the truth that I dont have a bike...yet. Anyway, that was straightened out just fine.
In the mean time, I am feeling cranky and pissed off at everything around. That asshole who was driving too slow, that douchbag who was talking on the cell phone instead of paying attention, the gas price on Quick Trip, that guy who was sitting on the bus stop, those freaking birds sitting on the electric lines...shoot, everything seemed totally fucked up today.
I stopped at McDoanld again but hell, it was Burger King. WTF. Anyway, I ordered veggie burger, paid my money, drove to office and started eating fish sandwich. Another of those WTF moment. So, here I am, eating my sandwich, minding my own business, scratching my balls, which is by golly, my God given right....and bam...I am back there again. listening to guarded sobs, then cries, cries of anguish and pain and sorrows, and the fog appears again. This time there are those mysterious songs of agony which breaks the shells of livers and causes the aches of unknown origins. And I said to myself...fuck this shit. This drop is horrible, hell, I havent even thought of sex in last 3 hours and that has to be some kind of sickness. Not only that, I havent been horny since all this took place....a big WTF.
But in all honesty, brothers and sisters and childrens, make no mistake.....you play hard ..you pay hard. There is no freebie, unless one is just fucking around and not in a good and honorable way. Well, if that happens, dont let it happen again. Ultimate responsibility of your safety, be it pysiccal, emotional or spirtual is still in your own hands.