August was...
I realized, just now, the reason why I've been putting off uploading these pictures for so long is that somehow, I can't bring mysef to look at them without having my heart pulled apart into different directions. August was especially... well, special.
Even now as I sit here I'm finding it difficult to go back and write about what actually happened several months back. Not because my memory fails me, rather because it won't let me forget. And when you're miles away from home the most difficult thing to deal with is just that. Some things are impossible to forget.
The month started off with farewells. Callie had just finished her internship at IRRI, and was heading back to the US and ultimately heading off to college. She did her final presentation and later in the afternoon we hung out. Naturally, there was food involved.
Before the day ended, she went around to say her last goodbyes to everyone. Then she brought some of her clothes over to our office. I got to keep a shirt and a pair of pants. Weather was a tad bit umpredictable those days. You'll never know when it could rain indoors.
August 10 was Jena's birthday. Which I totally forgot. Some friend I am. Sorry Jena. Thankfully, all was forgiven and kuya Ron and I were still invited to have dinner at their (other) place in LB bayan.
It was actually her grandma's place, if I remember correctly. I don't know about other people, but I absolutely love love old houses. I dunno. There's always something... rich and enchanting about them. The light is always perfect, the seats are always comfortable, the walls familliar. Maybe it's just me being nostalgic about spending happy summers at my own gradma's house.
Dinner consisted of carbonara from La Ville, KFC, rice, ice cream, and of course, as with any other occassion in LB in which people are fed, you can't not have Mernel's. "Surprise!" Mernel's.
Kuya Ron had to take off after dinner to attend some RCY meeting of sorts, and I left with him. On our way back to kuya Ron's car, just across Jena's house, we saw something pretty interesting. I didn't want to disturb the manongs in their sidewalk duels, so I just ninjad myself a picture.
August 12 was a Thursday, which was also the same day as the comedy night thing at IRRI and Mikko and Charet's performance at Freshmeat. I had already reserved a ticket for the comedy night a week before, and I learned about Freshmeat only some days later, which posed a bit of a dilemma since I had promised both my officemates and my dormates my company. So, an hour and a half into comedy night, which consisted mostly of drag role play, semi-involuntary volunteers, and all sorts of karaoke, which, if you know Philippine culture is actually rather typical, I took the shuttle back to UP to meet up with Jena. We were supposed to meet at the gate, I think, but we ended up meeting at Level 1 instead, where, thanks to "connections", I was able to score a free admission. UPLB College tip no. 24: Make friends with either a jock, a jammer, or preferably both.
Now, Level 1 is this... I don't really know what to call it. There's a bar, then there are these high table things and chairs and lights and basically a lot of space. It used to be a computer gaming place and I honestly don't even know why they decided to revamp that since business always seemed to be good (at least, when I was in college), but anyway now it's some sort of pseudo club thing. I don't know. Anyway, upon entering the place I found myself time warped some 3, 4 years back, when I was but a wide-eyed college student who simply had to go to a concert two nights before some important school thing. It was oddly comforting actually. Though, to quite honest, seeing more than half of the audience snapping away with their bigass SLRs kinda threw me off. I mean, wtf happeened to cameraphones? Anyway whatever. It was a fun night to say the least.
Where mah gurls at?
Then it was Xestra's turn to perform.
And, of course, being the great friends that we are, Jena and I had the task of being in the photography committee.
They were great by the way.
And yes. They played Black and Milky. IT WAS AWESOME.
Xestra put on a great show despite some not so great stuff such as Charet's sprain and that ever so messed up line-up scheduling. In the end, we all had some fun.
That weekend, we were scheduled to visit my grandparents in Luisiana. The drill was that my parents pick me up Saturday morning since LB was on the way. We usually have breakfast at Chowking together. That Saturday morning though, kuya Ron and I felt creative and decided to do a little photoshoot on Pili drive.
There's this lily pond just along the road that I pass by on the way to work every morning, and when it's early the flowers are wide open and quite lovely. I've always wanted to take pictures of that.
Unfortunately for us, we got there a bit later than what was ideal and the lilies were just starting to fold back. Still pretty though.
Then my parents called to tell me that they've already arrived on campus. Just about the same time ate Tin called kuya Ron to tell him they were at the apartment. Which was totally unexpected but pretty cool at the same time. So kuya Ron and I drove back to the UP gate where I got off at Vega to have my Chowking breakfast. Then back to the apartment to pick up my stuff for the weekend where I had a brief moment to exchange the usual hellos and what's ups with ate Tin.
On the way to Luisiana, I convinced my parents to have a look around IRRI. I mean, we all knew at the point that I wouldn't be working there for long, so I thought, might as well have them see where I spend most of my days in. So then I showed them my office, the buildings and whatnots. My mom was particularly amused with the mini-phytotron we had at Lampe. After taking some pictures, we had dessert at the main cafeteria before finally headig off to Luisiana.
Hm. I miss weekends with my family. :(
So we went to my grandparents' palce, and the weekend was lovely as always. No pictures of that though, I think I was too busy eating and/or sleeping. Heh.
And then, I was back in LB.
Back in IRRI. I don't particularly remember when this was. What I do remember was that, a few minutes before our bus ride home, I realized how stunning the ARBN lab looked in the golden afternoon light.
Then again, maybe it was just me. I am kind of a sucker for dramatically lit labs.
Wanted to take more pictures actually, but the bus was coming and I remember thinking at that time how easy it would be to just take some more pictures on another day. That day never came though. There was work, there was rain, and sometimes, a little bit of both.
Anyway, a few days later, it was Mikko's turn to catch up on our age. I forgot that one too. Sorry Mikko. :(
She treated me and Jena to a round of beer anyways. That's real friendship right there.
Though she did bail out on us a little bit early. Yes Mikko, 8:30 is early. So Jena and I stayed for a bit longer and life happened.
And then life happened a bit more, this time at Boston's.
God, I love bulletin boards. I mean seriously, for those who know the story, my life literally changed because of one.
Or rather, because I stuck around long enough to read one. I mean, come on, how can anyone resist these things? And I would have gotten a tattoo too, if I'd only designed one before I'd left.
And then, a miracle happened.
Nothing much to say here really. If anything, it was all rather bittersweet.
One moment he was there, perfectly tangible.
I remember the sound of his voice, the smell of his hair. The warmth of his hand on mine. The way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles. For me. At least.
And then he was gone.
It may be another three years before I see him again. Maybe things will change.
The goodbyes were abrupt and practically non-existent. No, it was nothing but an early taxi, an empty seat, and and an even emptier heart. There was mom drama of course. There always has been. And the way I see it, there always will be. She will never trust me or him, but of course, she will never admit it. No amount of my success or achievement will ever change that. Bitter much? Yes. But hurt, more than anything else.
I am not like them.
Anyway, yeah.
Drama almost always equals haircut. And so I got one. Immediately after I arrived back in LB from the airport. I guess, it's a symbolic way of getting rid of unwanted baggage. And I've got shitloads of them. Plus my hair was falling out from the old perm anyway.
Thank God for friends. I mean really.
And thank God for LB. And LB, for never judging me.
Even when I drown my sorrows with artery-clogging, deep fried, ridiculously overpriced, comfort food. Thank God for Isis too.
The last day of the month really was the culminating point where all the chips fell down into place. Where I realized exacly where I was, where I wanted to be, and what sacrifices I will be needing to make to get there. August was... I can't even think of the right words to describe it. 'Too short' would be one. 'Bittersweet' would be another. Though I think I might have said that far too many times already.
As for September...
that's another story entirely.
Even now as I sit here I'm finding it difficult to go back and write about what actually happened several months back. Not because my memory fails me, rather because it won't let me forget. And when you're miles away from home the most difficult thing to deal with is just that. Some things are impossible to forget.
The month started off with farewells. Callie had just finished her internship at IRRI, and was heading back to the US and ultimately heading off to college. She did her final presentation and later in the afternoon we hung out. Naturally, there was food involved.
Before the day ended, she went around to say her last goodbyes to everyone. Then she brought some of her clothes over to our office. I got to keep a shirt and a pair of pants. Weather was a tad bit umpredictable those days. You'll never know when it could rain indoors.
August 10 was Jena's birthday. Which I totally forgot. Some friend I am. Sorry Jena. Thankfully, all was forgiven and kuya Ron and I were still invited to have dinner at their (other) place in LB bayan.
It was actually her grandma's place, if I remember correctly. I don't know about other people, but I absolutely love love old houses. I dunno. There's always something... rich and enchanting about them. The light is always perfect, the seats are always comfortable, the walls familliar. Maybe it's just me being nostalgic about spending happy summers at my own gradma's house.
Dinner consisted of carbonara from La Ville, KFC, rice, ice cream, and of course, as with any other occassion in LB in which people are fed, you can't not have Mernel's. "Surprise!" Mernel's.
Kuya Ron had to take off after dinner to attend some RCY meeting of sorts, and I left with him. On our way back to kuya Ron's car, just across Jena's house, we saw something pretty interesting. I didn't want to disturb the manongs in their sidewalk duels, so I just ninjad myself a picture.
August 12 was a Thursday, which was also the same day as the comedy night thing at IRRI and Mikko and Charet's performance at Freshmeat. I had already reserved a ticket for the comedy night a week before, and I learned about Freshmeat only some days later, which posed a bit of a dilemma since I had promised both my officemates and my dormates my company. So, an hour and a half into comedy night, which consisted mostly of drag role play, semi-involuntary volunteers, and all sorts of karaoke, which, if you know Philippine culture is actually rather typical, I took the shuttle back to UP to meet up with Jena. We were supposed to meet at the gate, I think, but we ended up meeting at Level 1 instead, where, thanks to "connections", I was able to score a free admission. UPLB College tip no. 24: Make friends with either a jock, a jammer, or preferably both.
Now, Level 1 is this... I don't really know what to call it. There's a bar, then there are these high table things and chairs and lights and basically a lot of space. It used to be a computer gaming place and I honestly don't even know why they decided to revamp that since business always seemed to be good (at least, when I was in college), but anyway now it's some sort of pseudo club thing. I don't know. Anyway, upon entering the place I found myself time warped some 3, 4 years back, when I was but a wide-eyed college student who simply had to go to a concert two nights before some important school thing. It was oddly comforting actually. Though, to quite honest, seeing more than half of the audience snapping away with their bigass SLRs kinda threw me off. I mean, wtf happeened to cameraphones? Anyway whatever. It was a fun night to say the least.
Where mah gurls at?
Then it was Xestra's turn to perform.
And, of course, being the great friends that we are, Jena and I had the task of being in the photography committee.
They were great by the way.
And yes. They played Black and Milky. IT WAS AWESOME.
Xestra put on a great show despite some not so great stuff such as Charet's sprain and that ever so messed up line-up scheduling. In the end, we all had some fun.
That weekend, we were scheduled to visit my grandparents in Luisiana. The drill was that my parents pick me up Saturday morning since LB was on the way. We usually have breakfast at Chowking together. That Saturday morning though, kuya Ron and I felt creative and decided to do a little photoshoot on Pili drive.
There's this lily pond just along the road that I pass by on the way to work every morning, and when it's early the flowers are wide open and quite lovely. I've always wanted to take pictures of that.
Unfortunately for us, we got there a bit later than what was ideal and the lilies were just starting to fold back. Still pretty though.
Then my parents called to tell me that they've already arrived on campus. Just about the same time ate Tin called kuya Ron to tell him they were at the apartment. Which was totally unexpected but pretty cool at the same time. So kuya Ron and I drove back to the UP gate where I got off at Vega to have my Chowking breakfast. Then back to the apartment to pick up my stuff for the weekend where I had a brief moment to exchange the usual hellos and what's ups with ate Tin.
On the way to Luisiana, I convinced my parents to have a look around IRRI. I mean, we all knew at the point that I wouldn't be working there for long, so I thought, might as well have them see where I spend most of my days in. So then I showed them my office, the buildings and whatnots. My mom was particularly amused with the mini-phytotron we had at Lampe. After taking some pictures, we had dessert at the main cafeteria before finally headig off to Luisiana.
Hm. I miss weekends with my family. :(
So we went to my grandparents' palce, and the weekend was lovely as always. No pictures of that though, I think I was too busy eating and/or sleeping. Heh.
And then, I was back in LB.
Back in IRRI. I don't particularly remember when this was. What I do remember was that, a few minutes before our bus ride home, I realized how stunning the ARBN lab looked in the golden afternoon light.
Then again, maybe it was just me. I am kind of a sucker for dramatically lit labs.
Wanted to take more pictures actually, but the bus was coming and I remember thinking at that time how easy it would be to just take some more pictures on another day. That day never came though. There was work, there was rain, and sometimes, a little bit of both.
Anyway, a few days later, it was Mikko's turn to catch up on our age. I forgot that one too. Sorry Mikko. :(
She treated me and Jena to a round of beer anyways. That's real friendship right there.
Though she did bail out on us a little bit early. Yes Mikko, 8:30 is early. So Jena and I stayed for a bit longer and life happened.
And then life happened a bit more, this time at Boston's.
God, I love bulletin boards. I mean seriously, for those who know the story, my life literally changed because of one.
Or rather, because I stuck around long enough to read one. I mean, come on, how can anyone resist these things? And I would have gotten a tattoo too, if I'd only designed one before I'd left.
And then, a miracle happened.
Nothing much to say here really. If anything, it was all rather bittersweet.
One moment he was there, perfectly tangible.
I remember the sound of his voice, the smell of his hair. The warmth of his hand on mine. The way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles. For me. At least.
And then he was gone.
It may be another three years before I see him again. Maybe things will change.
The goodbyes were abrupt and practically non-existent. No, it was nothing but an early taxi, an empty seat, and and an even emptier heart. There was mom drama of course. There always has been. And the way I see it, there always will be. She will never trust me or him, but of course, she will never admit it. No amount of my success or achievement will ever change that. Bitter much? Yes. But hurt, more than anything else.
I am not like them.
Anyway, yeah.
Drama almost always equals haircut. And so I got one. Immediately after I arrived back in LB from the airport. I guess, it's a symbolic way of getting rid of unwanted baggage. And I've got shitloads of them. Plus my hair was falling out from the old perm anyway.
Thank God for friends. I mean really.
And thank God for LB. And LB, for never judging me.
Even when I drown my sorrows with artery-clogging, deep fried, ridiculously overpriced, comfort food. Thank God for Isis too.
The last day of the month really was the culminating point where all the chips fell down into place. Where I realized exacly where I was, where I wanted to be, and what sacrifices I will be needing to make to get there. August was... I can't even think of the right words to describe it. 'Too short' would be one. 'Bittersweet' would be another. Though I think I might have said that far too many times already.
As for September...
that's another story entirely.