the deed is done
so now i talked to him. and im scared shitless for him. i love himso much but i dont think he'll be okay. i did this so i couldget out there and experience new things and be able to go where i want without worrying about him. but i still am. at least im not doing so as much as i was i suppose. i dunno. i need tuffened up or something. im so mousy and scatter brained. i hate to say it but i kinda want someone to decide for me and do things for me or at least do them with me. i was looking to fuzz for the things i lacked and didnt find them. so i need to go out and find them for myself. alone. without a crutch to make me all giddy and forget about my problems. and i should probably not even bother with flings either.
i was in process of giving a old flame a new match next month....im having second thoughts. because a.) he's spending alot of loot to come down to a 75% chance of failure. b.) i couldnt see him as often as id like c.) fuzzy hates him. of course this is a recent decision and i gotta weigh out the issues and think on it a lil longer but i dont think i have much time before he buys the tickets actually. anyway...i think all relationships of any kind are really un nessecary right now. theres alot of gotta straighten out in my head, i need to keep my goals straight.
where would i find the strength from? i think im broken.
i was in process of giving a old flame a new match next month....im having second thoughts. because a.) he's spending alot of loot to come down to a 75% chance of failure. b.) i couldnt see him as often as id like c.) fuzzy hates him. of course this is a recent decision and i gotta weigh out the issues and think on it a lil longer but i dont think i have much time before he buys the tickets actually. anyway...i think all relationships of any kind are really un nessecary right now. theres alot of gotta straighten out in my head, i need to keep my goals straight.
where would i find the strength from? i think im broken.