no time to wander
i realized ive stopped thinking about philosophy politics and religion alot this year. i use to rant about all of it off the hook a few months ago. i feel ive come to this point where i understand it all and find bitching about it or thinking it over pointless. its like that with alot of stuff. its pretty un nerving actually. it doesnt feel natural to be content all the time. when things piss me off or bother me i gripe about it for a second then im straight. if i even do bitch about it. its like...i remember admiring the hindu religion and taoism and what-not because of their wise and calm nature. but now i kinda feel...numb. when i learn i feel i already know it. and if i didnt know it i meditate on it. and get that docile slight smile and slowed reaction. every desire and urge i feel is slightly stagnant. it feels like i expect it to fail already kinda. no real excitement, no urge to hurry or be elated while it happens. or if i am its involuntary and kinda creeps me out.
you know what. this is one aspect of me. i have two others. but this is the dominant one. the core. hmm...wierd. i feel like that dreamy cat on the window sill sleeping all day and staring off. doin nothing. being content.
but im fine. just talking.
you know what. this is one aspect of me. i have two others. but this is the dominant one. the core. hmm...wierd. i feel like that dreamy cat on the window sill sleeping all day and staring off. doin nothing. being content.
but im fine. just talking.