...while reading Angela's Ashes
I first considered the religion of Dogism. The belief system made sense, but was too limiting. Dogism holds that if "you can't eat it, and you can't fuck it; piss on it." Much as I respect dogs and their gods, I could relate more to Catism, the principle religion of cats. The Five Commandments of Catism are: (1) Don't run, if you can walk. (2) Don't walk, if you can stand. (3) Don't stand, if you can sit. (4) Don't sit, if you can lie down, and (5) Don't stay awake, if you can take a nap. Catism counsels: "He who sleeps the day away / lives to sleep another day," or, "Respect the friend who brings your food, for he has been your choice / Or go and catch it for yourself, and have a louder voice," and other such homilies.
Also, I've been told that ever since we read a Modest Proposal in class, some of the gay guys have been referring to the heterosexuals as 'breeders.' Is this a vain effort to appear condescending? Because if it is, then it's absolutely, positively lame.