B-Day Gifts Lift my Spirits!
I was suppose to have this week off from my chemo session, but they called me in and had me take another dose. I came home feeling a little sick, but not too bad. I'm sure this feeling will go away in a day, maybe two at the most.
After years of being beaten up by all of these different chemo-drugs I have been taking, feeling my body being broken down and abused, I feel good about this new chemo with a small side affect (At least the side affects are small after the initial first dose that made me really sick) They adjusted the dose and gave me drugs to help with the nausea and it is nice. What scares me (very much so) is that this chemo comes in the wake of several different failures of the normal chemo. I have tried almost every kind of chemo before going to this new one. You know what that means? They are running out of options. They were at the point of saying 'Okay, we have experimental chemo for you. I don't know what else to try.' and that means if this fails... well.. what's left, you know? Imagine being told 'That's it. That's all we have, and none of it worked on you.' for that fact, being told 'I have 6 months to a year to live' was almost surreal.
On a more upbeat topic, I want to thank the_karl and sensei256 for their christmas and birthday gifts. I honestly was feeling down today thinking about what happens to me if this chemo doesn't work and when I got home I had two packages waiting for me. It brought a smile to my face to say the least. I know it makes me sound materialistic, but it was like another Christmas for me!
Before I go, please Padres! Give the city of San Diego, the people that have backed you through MANY bad seasons, a World Series! I'm still alive, and I don't wanna go before they give the fans what we deserve!
Okay, I'm off now. All of you take care, and I'm sure it won't be long before I come back and babble some more. Y'all must be bored to be reading this. O_o;
After years of being beaten up by all of these different chemo-drugs I have been taking, feeling my body being broken down and abused, I feel good about this new chemo with a small side affect (At least the side affects are small after the initial first dose that made me really sick) They adjusted the dose and gave me drugs to help with the nausea and it is nice. What scares me (very much so) is that this chemo comes in the wake of several different failures of the normal chemo. I have tried almost every kind of chemo before going to this new one. You know what that means? They are running out of options. They were at the point of saying 'Okay, we have experimental chemo for you. I don't know what else to try.' and that means if this fails... well.. what's left, you know? Imagine being told 'That's it. That's all we have, and none of it worked on you.' for that fact, being told 'I have 6 months to a year to live' was almost surreal.
On a more upbeat topic, I want to thank the_karl and sensei256 for their christmas and birthday gifts. I honestly was feeling down today thinking about what happens to me if this chemo doesn't work and when I got home I had two packages waiting for me. It brought a smile to my face to say the least. I know it makes me sound materialistic, but it was like another Christmas for me!
Before I go, please Padres! Give the city of San Diego, the people that have backed you through MANY bad seasons, a World Series! I'm still alive, and I don't wanna go before they give the fans what we deserve!
Okay, I'm off now. All of you take care, and I'm sure it won't be long before I come back and babble some more. Y'all must be bored to be reading this. O_o;