my neighbor is a moron
6 AM. so, i'm peacefully sleeping, when i hear a man talking loudly for a while. i can't tell if it's on the other side of the wall (where noise usually emanates from, in the form of loud tv or electronic music) or in our house or outside. then, i get jolted awake by my doorbell ringing. not just ringing...RIIIIIINGIIIIIING. button held down for seriously a minute. so i'm like 'this has to be something important.' no one else got out of their rooms to go to the door, so i'm all fumbling around in the dark for my jacket. i head downstairs, and just as i'm getting to the door i think about home invasions and helen hill and all that stuff, so i'm like, maybe i should have let lester come down with me. i open the door very cautiously and it's this dude i've never seen before. i say "can i help you?" he's like, "i'm just trying to get into my house." (very obviously drunk and whatever) and i say "ok. but you rang OUR doorbell." keep in mind that i can barely see this dude because i'm half awake and completely out of it. he then says something about a grand conspiracy, so i shut the door in his face and go upstairs. i tried to go back to bed, but i hear this huge banging noise and something glass tumbling around. he's all talking to himself and yelling for his roommates and crap. i cannot sleep. i went downstairs to tell emily to watch out for him and take a shower, because i am so not getting back to sleep. this stupid motherfucker then spends the next hour or so...KICKING IN HIS LIVING ROOM WINDOW. seriously.
