Lindsey
Well, I haven't posted about this in a bit. I've been wanting to a lot, but I've just been so busy with the holidays and then with not having regular access to the internet, it gets hard sometimes.
But a lot has happened in this area. Too much really to cover it all, but the main points are that her and James were not doing so well over the holidays. They seem to have patched things up for now, but I dunno... I just think it's a temporary fix and that things will get rocky again. I just don't think they match well. Don't get me wrong, I really like James. He's a really nice guy, and he treats her way better than Pete ever did. But I don't think he treats her quite well enough though. And I can certainly understand some of his concerns...hell, I would even have the same concerns he has if I were dating her. But I would also handle them much better than he seems to be. And I can see some issues from her end too. I see them because it's just like when I was dating Annmarie. She is so much like me and he is so much like Annmarie. And yeah, they seem to have the same issues that she and I had. And, well we all know where that ended up. (Yeah look at me talking like anyone actually reads my journal.)
I've texted with her a number of times, and I finally got my chance to sit and talk in person with her a little. We weren't quite alone, but everyone else was in the other room, so it was close enough.
Just like always she never ceases to amaze me. And every time we talk we seem to have so much more in common. I think she really enjoyed it too. She kind of lingered around, almost like she was waiting to be the last one to leave, but of course Scott, as usual putzed around and took his good old time leaving so we didn't get that chance. I really wished that we had though...I really wanted to see what may have been said or happened had we been alone for even just a few minutes.
I was thinking about it one day on the long drive to work. I love her so much, I love her with all my heart and soul. And as I was thinking this I thought that she and I seem to have the same soul...and I think her soul knows it too. I really honestly do. I mean sometimes when she looks at me, there is something there, something from deep down, something that I never see when anyone else looks at me. I can see that spark in her eyes...
But as much as I think her soul knows it, I don't think her heart does.
So I guess that is where the problem is. Is this something that can change? It also brings up the question which is the greater of the two, the more important one when developing a realtionship? The heart or the soul?
I was also thinking about it this morning some. And to use the often despised and over used cliche of "there are plenty of fish in the sea" when refering to finding relationships, I am reasonably sure I have her hooked...now I am just having trouble realing her in.
The biggest issue I think, no I know, to her is the age difference. She's even said about that herself. Which makes me think that the idea of dating me has certainly crossed her mind, she's thought about it even before I brought it up. And I have to admit that the difference has concerend me as well, I've certainly thought about it. But I've weighed all the possibilities and came to the conclusion that regardless, it's worth the risk. Given everything else, this one thing should not stop me from pursuing what I feel is the best thing to ever come into my life. And despite how hard it's been and all the effort it is taking, it comes down to this. The most important and profound things we obtain in our lives are never easy.
She has on her facebook this phrase "If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe they are supposed to be there. : ) "
Well, I can't get her out of my head...
But a lot has happened in this area. Too much really to cover it all, but the main points are that her and James were not doing so well over the holidays. They seem to have patched things up for now, but I dunno... I just think it's a temporary fix and that things will get rocky again. I just don't think they match well. Don't get me wrong, I really like James. He's a really nice guy, and he treats her way better than Pete ever did. But I don't think he treats her quite well enough though. And I can certainly understand some of his concerns...hell, I would even have the same concerns he has if I were dating her. But I would also handle them much better than he seems to be. And I can see some issues from her end too. I see them because it's just like when I was dating Annmarie. She is so much like me and he is so much like Annmarie. And yeah, they seem to have the same issues that she and I had. And, well we all know where that ended up. (Yeah look at me talking like anyone actually reads my journal.)
I've texted with her a number of times, and I finally got my chance to sit and talk in person with her a little. We weren't quite alone, but everyone else was in the other room, so it was close enough.
Just like always she never ceases to amaze me. And every time we talk we seem to have so much more in common. I think she really enjoyed it too. She kind of lingered around, almost like she was waiting to be the last one to leave, but of course Scott, as usual putzed around and took his good old time leaving so we didn't get that chance. I really wished that we had though...I really wanted to see what may have been said or happened had we been alone for even just a few minutes.
I was thinking about it one day on the long drive to work. I love her so much, I love her with all my heart and soul. And as I was thinking this I thought that she and I seem to have the same soul...and I think her soul knows it too. I really honestly do. I mean sometimes when she looks at me, there is something there, something from deep down, something that I never see when anyone else looks at me. I can see that spark in her eyes...
But as much as I think her soul knows it, I don't think her heart does.
So I guess that is where the problem is. Is this something that can change? It also brings up the question which is the greater of the two, the more important one when developing a realtionship? The heart or the soul?
I was also thinking about it this morning some. And to use the often despised and over used cliche of "there are plenty of fish in the sea" when refering to finding relationships, I am reasonably sure I have her hooked...now I am just having trouble realing her in.
The biggest issue I think, no I know, to her is the age difference. She's even said about that herself. Which makes me think that the idea of dating me has certainly crossed her mind, she's thought about it even before I brought it up. And I have to admit that the difference has concerend me as well, I've certainly thought about it. But I've weighed all the possibilities and came to the conclusion that regardless, it's worth the risk. Given everything else, this one thing should not stop me from pursuing what I feel is the best thing to ever come into my life. And despite how hard it's been and all the effort it is taking, it comes down to this. The most important and profound things we obtain in our lives are never easy.
She has on her facebook this phrase "If you can't get someone out of your head, maybe they are supposed to be there. : ) "
Well, I can't get her out of my head...