You keep learning as you get older
So today I learned that I was born in 1982, and am therefore only 24 years old. This certainly was a surprise to me, as I'm sure it was to all those bartenders who served me when I was only 20, apparently.
Still, I don't feel any younger. My parents tell me that I don't feel any different because I was, in fact, born in 1981. Liars. They've lied to me all my life. They told me that Santa brought me that 10-speed. They told me Hershey was just sleeping. They told me that eating broccoli would grow hair on my chest. Well I am. Santa is dead, the cat is dead, my chest is patchy at best! And now I find out that the damned stork delivered me a whole year later than what I've known my whole life.
I found this all out from a very reputable source: the IRS. They rejected my e-filed tax return because I entered my birthday with the OLD birthday. They get their information form the VERY reputable source: the Social Security Administration.
Now, my parents are still saying that I was really born in 1981, and they're sending me my birth certificate to prove it. But I have the government behind me, and they do everything right! Once I take that birth certificate and show it to the SSA, we'll devise a plan to confront my parents with the truth!
NO MORE LIES!!!
Still, I don't feel any younger. My parents tell me that I don't feel any different because I was, in fact, born in 1981. Liars. They've lied to me all my life. They told me that Santa brought me that 10-speed. They told me Hershey was just sleeping. They told me that eating broccoli would grow hair on my chest. Well I am. Santa is dead, the cat is dead, my chest is patchy at best! And now I find out that the damned stork delivered me a whole year later than what I've known my whole life.
I found this all out from a very reputable source: the IRS. They rejected my e-filed tax return because I entered my birthday with the OLD birthday. They get their information form the VERY reputable source: the Social Security Administration.
Now, my parents are still saying that I was really born in 1981, and they're sending me my birth certificate to prove it. But I have the government behind me, and they do everything right! Once I take that birth certificate and show it to the SSA, we'll devise a plan to confront my parents with the truth!
NO MORE LIES!!!