(no subject)
[-] i haven't eaten ANY Carboyhydrates today
[-] i don't really like meat... so as well as carboyhydrates i haven't really eaten anything else either.
[-]I drank milk for the first time in 10 years and i feel like puking
[-]Besides my greater need not to, i feel guilty, even though i think i did the right thing even if the person i did if for doesn't understand and thinks im evil now. maybe if he could know everything, he'd see just what i did for him. it doesn't matter, if there is a god or a heaven, this will definatly go on the plus list...too bad i don't believe in either ;-( so i guess belief in karma will just have to suffice...although with all the pain and suffereing in the world i'm not sure i believe in that either... maybe that because i did one good thing more good will come out of it? like a chain reaction? i mean not that i will get it back... but somehow that things will be better than if i didn't do it? i guess no one will ever know... and write now it doesn't feel very good because it looks all wrong to anyone looking in.
[-]my best friend thinks i don't care about her. and i guess if she feels that way then i'm not caring about her the way she needs to be cared about...but i dunno i have my feelings on this that do not need to be put on the internet, and maybe should just be kept to myself either way because 1) no one wants to listen and 2) i don't know the right words to say it to anyone. <--Wittgenstein..agh maybe i just don't know anything at all... ok i guess i mean i don't know how to find words eloquent enough to express the simplisitic sentences in my brain (?)but then again sometiems i feel that way too... so maybe we need a break to know how much we really do care about each other because after all...we are best friends...and whatever fights we get in, i know we'll be friends until we are old or until she dies of emphasema or i die in a car accident...jk...well only about the emphasima/driving part (hopefully) ;-)
[-]old friends...that i'll never get to see again...ever...that much was made painfully and obviously clear...because actions speak louder than any words...and aim bells ringing across the internet sound louder in the dead of the night... yea. well your not supposed to understand that ;-)
[-]as much as i want to trust everyone. i guess the only person i can really trust is my mom... i can't even trust myself with anything.
[-]my toe is in bad shape after the "accident" on saturday ;-( i have never bled so much in my life before...ok im exagerating but still it REALLY HURTS and every 10 minutes i do something so that it opens up again and i'm in pain.
[-]my tooth... as my dentist said, "no one can love while they have a tooth-ache"
[-]the million things i have to do before friday
while i don't want this to be an emo post:. WHY MY LIFE ISN'T totally worthless.
[+]i have a wonderful friend that will go with me to retrace my crazy way to and from the physics building to look for my lost misplaced keys when they ended up being in my backpack the entire time.
[+]i saw along came polly with habib tonight and we all know how i feel about ben stiller <3
[+]sometimes i realize why i have the best roomate in the world.. ;-) (no sexiling, mutual food addictions, waking up early on wednesdays... etc.)
[+]minjung is the best friend i made during sr. year ever. her insanity truly keeps me sane. and anyone who talks shit about her can seriously suck it because i love that girl to death... i don't know where i'd be without her <3
[+]having internet access in Computer Science
[+]the way my cs teacher talked about blogging as if he was addicted to it <3
im not sure what i believe in anymore if anything at all... if i have a moral fiber in my body or if morals are anything more than what the majority does the majority of the time... i'm not sure about anything anymore but this might just be because i'm pmsing, hungry and tired all at the same time... GRRRRRR.