It's all about the waves, Dude!
For the last couple of years I have been pretty much single and during that time among my good friends I am known as the "Player" in the group. Not because I lie or deceive but because I was openly unwilling to commit to any woman. Many times I was asked if it was possible for me to be monogamous. I never lied but laughed and said that I could I just have yet to meet a woman that fascinates me enough to want to. I used to joke about it because I never thought it would happen. I had picked up the pieces of my heart and put it all back together, locked it up and tossed the key away. It's obvious now that that key landed in Long Beach, California. There is were the most wonderful and fascinating thief lives that not only came across that lost key but put the pieces back with a much tougher glue.
I used to think that I was in love with Sunshine but I realize now, compared to what I feel in such a short period of time for this other woman, that it was nothing more than blind infatuation. I can talk to her about anything that is on my mind without fear of judgement. I don't have to worry about being anything but myself. Most importantly, with her, sex is not the foremost in my mind. Now *grins* I'm not saying it's not on my mind at all, I'm just admitting to the fact that I am interested more in what she has to say and what she thinks. In all honesty, her mind excites me as equally as her looks do. And one of my most favorite things about her is probably something very insignificant but I love it anyways and that is the way she says 'fucker'. I couldn't say why but I love it. I think even if she or I were angry with each other if she called me or just said it I would forget everything and laugh. I love the fact that she carries such an interest in history and wants to understand both sides of the story. I can talk to her for hours on such a neverending subject. I could go on and on about all the things about her that have me so utterly and completely smitten with her. And for the first time in my life, I don't want to share her with anyone nor do I want her to share me.
I'm just a thug, educated and well spoken but still just a thug. Which makes me wonder why she in turn is so fascinated with me. She tells me how she feels so lucky to have found me and wonders how I could possibly have an interest in her when she's just a nerd. *laughs* Maybe I'm a nerd at heart or something because I could make a list that would take up pages and pages and it would get longer each day I talk to her. About the only things we don't have in common are the facts that I am not a vegatarian (which is okay with her), and I feel there are lots of cases were violence really does solve your problems. *grins* It's a thug life what more can I say. So basically we are, I guess, going to be a rather interesting couple... a nerd and a thug. Hmmmm ... it makes me think about that video with Mariah Carey, actually as a forethought I think I'll just post in on here and all of you can watch it.
Now, I've totally strayed off the subject here because talking about her wasn't what I really meant to write about. Or actually maybe it was in a sense because the topic of the blog is basically about why I have chosen to end my 'player' days. I want to do right by her. To honour and cherish her as she deserves. I want to be able to listen to her tell me about how her day went at work because despite the fact that there will be bad days in it that may make me sad, I find what she does just as interesting. I guess it's that morbid side of me. *laughs* Which brings memories back of how my mother used to tell me all the time that I was "in love with death"! Maybe it was fate then that led me to her or her to me. However you want to think about it, I'm in love with her and she with me.
That's right, I said it... I am now announcing it to the world: I'm in love with you, Carrie.