Ofic: Out, part 20

[maldoror_gw]

I iz back. Two-year-old was two, but not too terribly two, and the sun, sea and sand entertained and wore her her and allowed mom and dad to take regular breaks. All in all a good time was had by all, and I had the time to go through this chapter last night and today for posting ^__^ THanks for all the reviews for part 19, I'll answer them during

Comments

[reflecttheother]

I wish I were more articulate, but my main comments seem to be FINALLY and ::keyboard smash from sheer hotness:: I love, love, loveloveLOVE their interactions; how they're both so tough and dutiful in different ways and so conscious of each other without giving way or quarter. Damn, I'm so happy you were able to post this week!

This gem was one of my favorite parts, with Darius being his rough self (and trying to impress/intimidate Ryou) and Ryou having absolutely none of it: "Especially now," said Darius, lifting his head and giving Ryou a smile that was dangerously feral. "Gentle magian, that's what the shedding of blood does to one of Inder's sons. You really think you're up to the truth that is Ghan the Beast, Ryou? Before you showed up, I was going to find one of Sezerena's catamites who hadn't done himself in and would be looking for protection from the garrison, and then I was going to push him down on the nearest surface and pretend it was you."

Ryou gaped. Then he reached up and punched Darius on the shoulder.

BTW, I think you missed a typo in this section: "Bahador had a lengthy objection scrawled all over his face, but Dionysodoros and the other Hounds had moved instantly to obey and that left him alone in the hallway with his unspoken apprehensions and the magian they concerned looking right at him."

[reflecttheother]

Bah, I keep doing this to you, sorry for adding another comment instead of putting my thoughts together in one package, but I forgot to mention how much I adore you for actively using and commenting on the inevitable culture clashes that would happen between the two characters. I greatly dislike fics that drop characters from "our world" into another world (not that I would describe this fic like that or put it even close to those fics) and then never address how someone with modern sensibilities would react to the every day filth, violence, and the like of the their new surrounding.

[maldoror_gw]

Yay, my smex scene rated a keyboard smash ^__^ I was wondering if I could get that kind of reaction with a somewhat non-traditional pr0n scene.

Ah yes thanks, that typo is now history.

I did NOT want to make Ryou a doormat, but neither did I want to make him tough in the traditional way. It led to the creation of an intriguing character, and one who can actually give Ghan the Whatever a run for his money.

I had too much fun playing with some of the culture clashes. Though in fact, if this were truly true to real life, there'd be so much culture clash that neither my characters nor the story would get anywhere very fast ^^; Our world and Darius's are so bloody far apart (and my own research is so severely limited by time...) I managed to put it out into the fic in acceptable doses and have fun with it too. Expect more culture clashes in the near future; now that Darius and Ryou are an item, and no longer stressed by the mechanics of mere survival, things are going to occasionally get convoluted for our poor castaway from the 21st Century.