GW Fic: Freeport 10 (rewrite)

[maldoror_gw]

Late like whoa with this, but moving house is always crazier than expected -_-; I should have my groove back in a couple of weeks.

Link to all chapters

Comments

[edenfalling]

Granted, he and Duo had been attacked once, had killed in self-defense and witnessed two other completely unrelated 'duels', but this was still far from the sink of ineptitude he'd pictured Freeport to be.

I think you mean 'sink of iniquity,' not 'ineptitude.'

[maldoror_gw]

Lol, yes, that's indeed what I meant. *fixes*

[edenfalling]

While I'm at it, a few other nitpicks.

He'd seen one of these junkies in the terminal stages break and mangle his own hand ripping it out of a cuff to strangle the officer who'd arrested him. 'Those junkies' would work better.

Mainly it's to avoid people taking shit outside, but they're sensitive enough where they won't let you out if you're junked up to the eyeballs. I dunno if it's a quirk of Duo's dialogue, but I'd substitute 'that' for 'where.'

The Preventers came down hard on all sorts of drugs, but no government had ever legislated alcohol and violence, the poor man's sedation. Um, actually lots of goverments legislate alcohol and violence. Age restrictions, brewing guidelines to keep methanol out of the ethanol, the criminalization of assault and murder, you know, little things like that. :-) I think what you mean is that 'no government had ever successfully stamped out alcohol and violence,' or something like that.

There were all sorts of patrons, from friends enjoying a casual chat over beers, to the heavy drinkers

[maldoror_gw]

Now I'm wondering how long that 'if Freeport' typo has been in the text...Maybe as long as 'Dar', which comes from one of the very first drafts of this scene, ye gods, does that take me back.

What I meant was that no government has ever criminalized alcohol itself like it has other dangerous substances. Except during Prohibition, and didn't *that* work out well. Then again, it was just about as successful as the current war on drugs. Um, tangent...I'll toss a 'successfully' in there.

[wanderingscroll]

Evil Woman!

[bonzaineko]

Yes, another chapter!

A couple of typos spotted:

The men and women occupying the beds weren't smocking or injecting anything
Should be "smoking".

He's neither stupid nor a stoolie. Kapish?"
Do you mean "capiche" like in the Godfather movies?

[maldoror_gw]

Kapish is an atlernative spelling according to the urban dictionary. Though it probably should be Capiche, that's where it originally comes from *broods, ponders, goes to fix*

And yes, smoking...

[pitchan]

FREEPORT!
I'm sorry I'm just dropping in like this (I usually just lurk xD). I love this story! Granted I only came across it 6 months back...a full 2-3 years after I had read your other GW story 'The Arrangement'. xD In fact, I'm just going through my annual re-read of 'The Arrangement' (from AFF) so I checked your LJ and came across the news of the rewrite. Awesome!
psst. Is it ok to ask if there is going to be a sequel to 'The Arrangement'? I remember reading AN where you wrote that there might be a possibility that could happen ^^;
*goes off to finish 'The Arrangement' re-reading to get ready for the 'Freeport' re-read.*

[maldoror_gw]

I did have a story set in that universe roughed out (I think it was a year down the line) but I won't be writing it. I don't have the time :( But I'm glad you enjoyed what's written, and I'm just glad I was able to finish those stories. Nothing as frustrating as a story I can't finish.

[cathedral_junki]

Ohhhhh we're about to get to one of the best parts!!!! I love it when Duo finally figures out that Wu is gay. Mmmmmm happy-ness. I'm so glad that you're revisiting this. I realize that i've said that before, but color me redudant. I know you won't but i so wish you'd write a sequal to this!! I'm still kicking around the idea of giving it a shot (you remember i asked for permission once upon a time and you were nice enough to give me the go ahead ^_^) I'm just not sure that i could do it justice. But re reading sure makes me want to try.

[maldoror_gw]

I don't even have time for 'normal' writing these days, much less the impetus to try my hand at a sequel in a fandom I've moved away from, alas. Which is a pity, because I do love the Freeport 'verse...*sigh* Do feel free to try your hand at it, I consider this universe an open playground where all are invited. Heh, it'd be crazy sticking rules on a colony of anarchists (just remember to not try to import guns or hard drugs).

[cathedral_junki]

*is shocked* I would *never* put guns or hard drugs in freeport. that's just...wrong! ^__~ honestly the idea would never have even occured to me.