Fic: Kindred, 2/?

[maldoror_gw]

The DR epilogue is fighting me, so here's a new chapter of Kindred instead. I've gotten the first eight chapters written out - been working on this since Christmas - so I should be able to post one chapter a week, after polishing, for a little while. Then I might fall back to one chapter every other week. I'm still behind with the reviews, but

Comments

[anonymous]

Gaara is so awesome. More Kindred!

[proud_snapist]

EEe....your Gaara is just so kickass. The sentimental or supportive things that Gaara does are just...incredible in their simplicity. It's nice to see how you've made a completely expressive character by showing how much he doesn't express...if that makes sense? The silences, the clinical observations, the blunt acceptance...equates to one hell of a great depiction of Gaara.

[proud_snapist]

one more thing, you said that this was darker than DR...it doesn't seem darker...it seems...different. Cuz there's a sort of darkness in Lee too that is just accompanying the "wonderful springtime of youth." There's a complexity in Gaara that makes him worthy of a dissertation. And you're doing a great job getting into his psyche. There's something about the black darkness in him that reminds me of the black oil alien in X-Files. ^^

[maldoror_gw]

Glad to hear I'm doing a good job on Gaara ^_^ It's darker because there's going to be less humour than DR, and because there are some pretty nasty things lurking in the background. Or at least I thought so. I thought a kid whose mother had been murdered by his father was rather a lot to deal with, but of course, in the wonderful world of fanfiction (and Naruto, where every pretty ninja has a reason to angst), I guess it's small potatoes ^^;

[proud_snapist]

Sorry to interupt, but maybe you'll know...whats Tentens story? Ive looked and looked and as far as I can tell shes the only "semi-major" character without a back story O-o;;

[lunar_eclipse24]

I was wondering why Lee was the one to adopt the children. I had figued both of thier parents had died.

Minor nitpick: "Her clan weren't" should be "Her clan wasn't" because the clan is being refered to as a single entitiy.

I'm looking foward to the next chapter.

[maldoror_gw]

In a way, and in the Shinobi world, it would probably have been better if both their parents died. But in a familial-clan structure like these villages, I'm sure most orphans would find a better home than a single male Jounin unless there was another factor. We all adore Lee, but I'm sure most of his relatives do not think he's father material, particularly considering who he's living with ^^;

The wasn't/weren't was deliberate. I don't worry about grammar too much when someone is speaking, and in this instance, Lee is emotionally overwraught, and he's not thinking of the clan as an entity, but as several different people refusing him very harshly. *pets Lee* But if it scans really too badly, I might just remove it, he makes reference to 'them' right afterwards *ponders*

[ammene]

Whoo! New story ^^ I wasn't able to comment the first chapter so.. I'll comment this instead. (instead? xD Would propably done it anyway. )

Gaara's thoughts are.. just guaa! I can't find the right word xD Great? Funny? Almost-too-Logical-really-don't-think-so-much-dude? xDD

But well, that's Gaara for you. Love it <3

And even thought this wasn't made to be humoristic ( or was it?), this chapter made me smile happily ^^ But I'm kind of sad 'cause it looks like I won't see Chiro's reaction when he realises Gaara and Lee are dating. I was expecting it .__. i'm soo saad. I wanna see it! .___. (okay, I wanna read it, got your point xD)

But well ^^ .. I think you can find the point of this message somewhere. (If you don't find it, I wouldn't xD, it's that I just adore this idea/fic/chapter ^^ Thank you <3 Your writing skills are still fantastic.)

[maldoror_gw]

Nah, commenting on this chapter is fine ^_^ Thanks!

Chiro's four, so he might struggle with the whole 'dating' concept. He'll get it eventually, but only in the way kids 'get' that their parents are an item to themselves one day; it sort of permeates through.

[complexphoenix]

In fact, after answering a batch, I feel like writing, hence inevitable distraction...

HAHAHA SCORE.

Anyway, great chapter! I like the emotional complexity of the situation, how it's bringing up Lee's old wounds and issues, and I look forward to seeing more of this :)

[maldoror_gw]

It's going to be bringing up more than Lee's issues, but that's for a future chapter. And yes, I'm perenially bad at answering reviews ^^; But you guys are just too distracting! ^_~