Cauliflower Ban
(This is something I'm working on, but I want to see how big of a movement I can make this. I'm planning on creating a Facebook group for this...possibly a MySpace.)
I'm proposing that we call for a nation-wide ban on cauliflower, and I'm looking to garner support from anyone else interested. I personally find it disgusting, so it therefore should be banned nationwide so that no one eats it. My personal opinion of aesthetics and taste should be made into national law. It doesn't matter that other people eating cauliflower has no personal ramifications for me-what matters is that they are wrong and I am right, because I said so and I'm just more important.
There is nothing gained from eating cauliflower that you cannot gain from eating other more wholesome, more delicious foods.
It's unnatural to like cauliflower-if God wanted us to eat it, he'd have made it taste good. This nation is a theocracy, meaning my personal interpretation of my religion needs to be imposed and made into national law. I am doing the Lord's work in trying to get these evil sinners to quit eating cauliflower.
Liking cauliflower is a choice. People can choose to eat cauliflower every day and with prayer, they can overcome their unnatural tendencies.
Children are being exposed to and forced to eat cauliflower in homes that support cauliflower eating. No child ever liked cauliflower naturally-their minds are warped over time to accept it as being a natural food to eat and enjoy.
People who enjoy eating cauliflower are second-class citizens, and we all need to make sure they realize this and are treated as such. They are less human than me for liking cauliflower, and therefore deserve less rights than the rest of us.
Enjoying the consumption of something as disgusting as cauliflower is tearing down the moral fabric of our society. If this trend is allowed to continue, people will start experimenting with eating other disgusting things, such as garbage, sewage, and Arby's. Some people have already started eating insects prepared in many nauseating ways (which they argue are “creative” ways).
If you are interested in joining this movement, be sure to contact me. We need to alert our elected representatives and petition them to support our cause.
One proposed plan is to attempt to convert farmers from using their soil to cultivate this vile food and instead use it to grow other, better foods.
Primarily, though, as this movement is in its infant stages, to get media attention we need to picket alongside other protesters who get more media attention but have the same basic principals in their protests. Gay marriage protesters are most favorable in this light, but it will work with anyone else protesting something on the grounds of chastising another group for being different in a way that isn't physically threatening, but merely threatening to one's own insecurities. Holding signs that say "Ban Cauliflower" or "I Hate Cauliflower" should help get this message across. “God Hates Cauliflower” is another good one, as it's obvious that God hates what I hate. Be sure to answer any questions the media people ask you about this legitimate cause. Keeping this list of principals on hand may prove beneficial for that.
I'm proposing that we call for a nation-wide ban on cauliflower, and I'm looking to garner support from anyone else interested. I personally find it disgusting, so it therefore should be banned nationwide so that no one eats it. My personal opinion of aesthetics and taste should be made into national law. It doesn't matter that other people eating cauliflower has no personal ramifications for me-what matters is that they are wrong and I am right, because I said so and I'm just more important.
There is nothing gained from eating cauliflower that you cannot gain from eating other more wholesome, more delicious foods.
It's unnatural to like cauliflower-if God wanted us to eat it, he'd have made it taste good. This nation is a theocracy, meaning my personal interpretation of my religion needs to be imposed and made into national law. I am doing the Lord's work in trying to get these evil sinners to quit eating cauliflower.
Liking cauliflower is a choice. People can choose to eat cauliflower every day and with prayer, they can overcome their unnatural tendencies.
Children are being exposed to and forced to eat cauliflower in homes that support cauliflower eating. No child ever liked cauliflower naturally-their minds are warped over time to accept it as being a natural food to eat and enjoy.
People who enjoy eating cauliflower are second-class citizens, and we all need to make sure they realize this and are treated as such. They are less human than me for liking cauliflower, and therefore deserve less rights than the rest of us.
Enjoying the consumption of something as disgusting as cauliflower is tearing down the moral fabric of our society. If this trend is allowed to continue, people will start experimenting with eating other disgusting things, such as garbage, sewage, and Arby's. Some people have already started eating insects prepared in many nauseating ways (which they argue are “creative” ways).
If you are interested in joining this movement, be sure to contact me. We need to alert our elected representatives and petition them to support our cause.
One proposed plan is to attempt to convert farmers from using their soil to cultivate this vile food and instead use it to grow other, better foods.
Primarily, though, as this movement is in its infant stages, to get media attention we need to picket alongside other protesters who get more media attention but have the same basic principals in their protests. Gay marriage protesters are most favorable in this light, but it will work with anyone else protesting something on the grounds of chastising another group for being different in a way that isn't physically threatening, but merely threatening to one's own insecurities. Holding signs that say "Ban Cauliflower" or "I Hate Cauliflower" should help get this message across. “God Hates Cauliflower” is another good one, as it's obvious that God hates what I hate. Be sure to answer any questions the media people ask you about this legitimate cause. Keeping this list of principals on hand may prove beneficial for that.