spn (fic)
I had a tiny conversation with bigmamag last night about the new episode. And then I wrote a bit of fic about it. My thoughts and the fic under the cut.
So, I figure that it was TOTES God who saved the boys and Cas. And that's why Zach's so afraid. He doesn't know it was God, but he's like, omfg maybe it's God! And Castiel's all like, wtf I don't know either but RUN BITCH.
And I have the feeling that God is so totally kickass. He talks all cool JUST to freak people out. AND THEN I was in class today, helping children with Math, and I was like, FIC TIME!
And lo. There is fic.
***
SO, God said afterwards, HOW AWESOME WAS THAT?
“It was very awesome, my Lord,” Castiel replied. He was busy trying not to stare at the Lord’s Holy Beard; there was a small, still-writhing piece of demon in it. Castiel scratched at his chin and hoped his Father would get the hint.
DID YOU SEE THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES? God chuckled. OH MAN. THAT WAS EPIC.
“It was, my Lord,” Castiel said. And it had been. Zachariah - who, like everyone else, had assumed God had buggered off somewhere - had Golgothed in his pants. Three quarters of the demon army had simply exploded. Sam and Dean had been knocked into comas, Chuck had had a seizure, and Lucifer had started to cry. Again.
AND THEN I WAS ALL LIKE, SMITIN’ TIME! God leapt up from His heavenly throne and started shadow boxing. Castiel scrambled to get out of His way. AND I SAID, LET THERE BE AN ASSWHOOPING, AND I ASSWHOOPED. AND I SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD.
God, who thought He was quite the Holy Comedian, roared with laughter. Castiel chuckled politely.
SHIT, SON, I OWNED THEM. God flopped back on His throne and grinned.
“Indeed you did, my Lord.” Castiel tried not to fidget.
God gave Castiel the side-eye. WELL, GO ON, He said. GET OUT OF HERE. KEEP AN EYE ON THE WINCHESTER BOYS.
“I will, Father.”
AND MAKE SURE THERE’S NO MORE SHENANIGANS. THAT INCLUDES YOU, CASTIEL.
Castiel shifted minutely. “Of course. Thank you, Father.”
YEAH, YEAH, God said, flapping His hand dismissively.
Castiel returned to Earth with a sigh of relief.
So, I figure that it was TOTES God who saved the boys and Cas. And that's why Zach's so afraid. He doesn't know it was God, but he's like, omfg maybe it's God! And Castiel's all like, wtf I don't know either but RUN BITCH.
And I have the feeling that God is so totally kickass. He talks all cool JUST to freak people out. AND THEN I was in class today, helping children with Math, and I was like, FIC TIME!
And lo. There is fic.
***
SO, God said afterwards, HOW AWESOME WAS THAT?
“It was very awesome, my Lord,” Castiel replied. He was busy trying not to stare at the Lord’s Holy Beard; there was a small, still-writhing piece of demon in it. Castiel scratched at his chin and hoped his Father would get the hint.
DID YOU SEE THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES? God chuckled. OH MAN. THAT WAS EPIC.
“It was, my Lord,” Castiel said. And it had been. Zachariah - who, like everyone else, had assumed God had buggered off somewhere - had Golgothed in his pants. Three quarters of the demon army had simply exploded. Sam and Dean had been knocked into comas, Chuck had had a seizure, and Lucifer had started to cry. Again.
AND THEN I WAS ALL LIKE, SMITIN’ TIME! God leapt up from His heavenly throne and started shadow boxing. Castiel scrambled to get out of His way. AND I SAID, LET THERE BE AN ASSWHOOPING, AND I ASSWHOOPED. AND I SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD.
God, who thought He was quite the Holy Comedian, roared with laughter. Castiel chuckled politely.
SHIT, SON, I OWNED THEM. God flopped back on His throne and grinned.
“Indeed you did, my Lord.” Castiel tried not to fidget.
God gave Castiel the side-eye. WELL, GO ON, He said. GET OUT OF HERE. KEEP AN EYE ON THE WINCHESTER BOYS.
“I will, Father.”
AND MAKE SURE THERE’S NO MORE SHENANIGANS. THAT INCLUDES YOU, CASTIEL.
Castiel shifted minutely. “Of course. Thank you, Father.”
YEAH, YEAH, God said, flapping His hand dismissively.
Castiel returned to Earth with a sigh of relief.