hello may sunshine
I've had a rough winter and spring. I can feel my mood starting to turn as the sun returns, thank goodness. tonight's a rare night where everyone got to bed with minimal fuss and I'm not so exhausted that I just crawl into bed the moment everyone is clearly asleep. the twins are pretty much making it thru most nights but it's still rare that they go to sleep and/or wake up at around the same time. still tandem nursing but they're doing pretty well eating other simple foods so they're not totally reliant on me supply-wise. Once in a while one of the boys will chip in at meal time and help out with a spoon, which made madeleine giggle the first time out of delight or surprise.
I'm tired. my weight is getting me down. I'm still carrying almost all the baby weight over 8 months later that wasn't the twins, placenta and blood supply. You'd think that all the nursing calories and the amount of toddler chasing and what have you would count for something. I don't feel like I have much time for myself, I'm definitely not eating well or exercising, unless you count child-centered activity. we've adjusted my thyroid meds. recently and I think my metabolism is just stalled.
I try not to beat myself up about the weight itself, but easier said than done. it feels like my energy deficit is affected by it, but it's more likely the exhaustion is doing more to affect the weight than vice-versa. however you slice it, it's dismaying. I find myself easily winded at the park and it just makes me feel generally self-conscious. Ah well.
I'm hoping the girls will wean themselves before the summer is out and maybe as I can find a way to do more walking or even swimming now that the weather has turned. J is supposed to be home for a good long stretch, possibly the entire summer, and I'm hopeful that means I can claim some time and take better care of myself.
I'm tired. my weight is getting me down. I'm still carrying almost all the baby weight over 8 months later that wasn't the twins, placenta and blood supply. You'd think that all the nursing calories and the amount of toddler chasing and what have you would count for something. I don't feel like I have much time for myself, I'm definitely not eating well or exercising, unless you count child-centered activity. we've adjusted my thyroid meds. recently and I think my metabolism is just stalled.
I try not to beat myself up about the weight itself, but easier said than done. it feels like my energy deficit is affected by it, but it's more likely the exhaustion is doing more to affect the weight than vice-versa. however you slice it, it's dismaying. I find myself easily winded at the park and it just makes me feel generally self-conscious. Ah well.
I'm hoping the girls will wean themselves before the summer is out and maybe as I can find a way to do more walking or even swimming now that the weather has turned. J is supposed to be home for a good long stretch, possibly the entire summer, and I'm hopeful that means I can claim some time and take better care of myself.