(no subject)
I don't know how to begin this. I lost one of my closest friends. Randy, if you can read this somehow, I want you to know that I love you. I have valued our friendship over the decade-plus that I have known you, and I probably should have said it more. I cannot believe that I am even writing this. I was so looking forward to telling you about all the various updates in my life, and I just can't believe that I'm not going to get that chance. I am simply at a loss. I never truly expected this to happen. The back-and-forth insult contest that was a component of our friendship also meant a great deal to me. I am realizing that I am never going to enjoy that with you again (at least not in this lifetime), and it hurts so much. I hope that there truly is an afterlife, because I really, really want to be able to talk to you again. Once again, I cannot believe that I am writing this entry. I miss you dearly already, and I am so thankful now, that despite my depression, I was able to spend all of that quality time with you during the past several months. It meant a lot to me, and without you, I don't know that I would have made it through myself. I wish that there would have been some way for me to save you, so that you could have enjoyed all the things that I know you wanted out of this life. You deserved so much more time on this planet with us, and I still just cannot believe that you are gone. Know that I love you, wherever you are now; and that I hope to God that I will one day see you again. I hate goodbyes now more than ever, so I will say that you will always be a part of me, until the day that I die.