I don't have the words
I need to write a post. there's some stuff I need to say, but I don't know how to say it, so I've been putting it off for the better part of eternity, but it's not getting any easier and I'm not getting any younger. that post will have to wait though.
For now, I'll let you all know that the swelling in my optic nerve is from a Pseudotumor that is hanging out and swelling and blocking blood flow in my brain and is also causing vision changes and ringing in my ears that I thought were because of my migraines. I have to go to Grand Rapids, which is about an hour away from here to see a specialist for more testing and treatment. they're supposed to set up an MRI for me at the hospital here in town and call me with that date and the date of my testing in Grand Rapids, which will include a lumbar puncture, among other fun things. The people on my facebook have already started arguing with me about all this, telling me that a lumbar puncture is going to hurt really bad, to which someone else argued "no it doesn't, it doesn't hurt at all it just feels uncomfortable" because when another human being recounts their experience, we should argue that they are lying instead of acknowledging that different people experience things differently. my cousin also helpfully informed me that SEE SHE TOLD ME IT WOULD NOT BE A TUMOR and I need to HAVE FAITH BECAUSE GOD CAN TURN A TUMOR INTO NOT A TUMOR IF WE HAVE ENOUGH PEOPLE PRAYING FOR US. I'm fairly certain it doesn't work that way and God isn't just a mean dickhead who snapped his fingers and took my tumor away while letting other people die of their tumors because they didn't have enough people praying for them.
People make my head hurt. or is that my tumor coming back because some people stopped praying for me?