Starting to Realize
So I'm starting to Realize that there's a huge gap between some of my friends and I. I realize that I am poor, and that has caused some friction between us in the past, but I'm starting to Realize that the gap is bigger than I ever thought.
I was approved for health insurance through the healthy michigan plan recently. I wanted to do a big celebratory post about it, but honestly I have been screwed over so many times where health insurance is concerned that I'm in "I'll believe it when I see it" mode, which will last until I have my first mandatory checkup and actually get a doctor to listen to me and give me the treatment I need, so basically until I ride a rainbow unicorn to candy land. But I have mentioned small things here and there to some of my friends, and this is where I've noticed the gaps. I told one friend that I finally had health insurance and that it was a relief, and he said "well I hope you never have to use it." Um...where does this attitude come from? Do you think I'm joking every time I mention I'm sick or in pain or my arthritis is hurting or my migraine won't go away or I have a chronic pain condition and mental health conditions that require medication? I get that he's trying to be nice and say he hopes I don't get sick, but I'm already sick daily, and some recognition of that would be nice because it's not like I never talk about it.
Also recently I mentioned that I went to the emergency room to finally get treatment for a migraine I'd had for 12 days straight. I made a post to let people know, and then made a post saying that I got hooked up to an IV for the first time ever. One of my friends said "I can't believe you've never had an IV before." Um...I can. I know several people who've never had an IV because we are too poor to get medical care. But I didn't want to fight, so I let it slide, and I posted a picture later of my arm all bruised from where the nurse had to search for my veins that like to hide when needles are involved, and one of my friends who has a habit of making snotty comments was all "I'm sorry but I find your continued fascination with the iv amusing." Well I find it amusing that you started that sentence with "I'm sorry but" which might as well say "I'm about to be a cunt and I'm not sorry." Then people commented and you know, actually had sympathy for my hurt arm, because they'd rather converse with me than mock me, and someone said it looked like they dug around in my arm and it must have hurt, and my snotty - ass friend replied AGAIN and had the nerve to say "no the bruising is not from the iv, it's probably from when the tape was pulled off. Um, no bitch, I actually own the arm in question, and I can confirm the bruising is not from when the tape was pulled off, because I AM THE ONE WHO PULLED THE TAPE OFF AND I KNOW HOW TO PULLED TAPE OFF I'M NOT A FUCKING IDIOT STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE! I mean come ON, who fucking SAY something like that? If you think I'm an idiot at least say so behind my back and not in a reply on my own Goddamn picture which I'm going to read.
I think honestly a lot of people don't get that when you're poor, you don't go to the doctor when you're sick. You don't get an iv, you don't see a doctor, you deal with pain and sometimes even die like my uncle who had a tumor in his throat the size of a grapefruit before emergency medicaid would do anything for him, and by then it was too late, so he died. This does not mean poor people are stupid, it means for us, going to the doctor is an impossibility. I actually cried on Sunday at the hospital because I was so relieved that I could do something to feel better and I didn't have to just suffer. The doctor didn't get why I was crying, but he was nice about it. I think people just don't understand. They don't mean to be dicks, they just don't hear how they sound to someone who never had the privilege of having medical care available BEFORE they were dying.
Запись сделана с помощью m.livejournal.com.
I was approved for health insurance through the healthy michigan plan recently. I wanted to do a big celebratory post about it, but honestly I have been screwed over so many times where health insurance is concerned that I'm in "I'll believe it when I see it" mode, which will last until I have my first mandatory checkup and actually get a doctor to listen to me and give me the treatment I need, so basically until I ride a rainbow unicorn to candy land. But I have mentioned small things here and there to some of my friends, and this is where I've noticed the gaps. I told one friend that I finally had health insurance and that it was a relief, and he said "well I hope you never have to use it." Um...where does this attitude come from? Do you think I'm joking every time I mention I'm sick or in pain or my arthritis is hurting or my migraine won't go away or I have a chronic pain condition and mental health conditions that require medication? I get that he's trying to be nice and say he hopes I don't get sick, but I'm already sick daily, and some recognition of that would be nice because it's not like I never talk about it.
Also recently I mentioned that I went to the emergency room to finally get treatment for a migraine I'd had for 12 days straight. I made a post to let people know, and then made a post saying that I got hooked up to an IV for the first time ever. One of my friends said "I can't believe you've never had an IV before." Um...I can. I know several people who've never had an IV because we are too poor to get medical care. But I didn't want to fight, so I let it slide, and I posted a picture later of my arm all bruised from where the nurse had to search for my veins that like to hide when needles are involved, and one of my friends who has a habit of making snotty comments was all "I'm sorry but I find your continued fascination with the iv amusing." Well I find it amusing that you started that sentence with "I'm sorry but" which might as well say "I'm about to be a cunt and I'm not sorry." Then people commented and you know, actually had sympathy for my hurt arm, because they'd rather converse with me than mock me, and someone said it looked like they dug around in my arm and it must have hurt, and my snotty - ass friend replied AGAIN and had the nerve to say "no the bruising is not from the iv, it's probably from when the tape was pulled off. Um, no bitch, I actually own the arm in question, and I can confirm the bruising is not from when the tape was pulled off, because I AM THE ONE WHO PULLED THE TAPE OFF AND I KNOW HOW TO PULLED TAPE OFF I'M NOT A FUCKING IDIOT STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE! I mean come ON, who fucking SAY something like that? If you think I'm an idiot at least say so behind my back and not in a reply on my own Goddamn picture which I'm going to read.
I think honestly a lot of people don't get that when you're poor, you don't go to the doctor when you're sick. You don't get an iv, you don't see a doctor, you deal with pain and sometimes even die like my uncle who had a tumor in his throat the size of a grapefruit before emergency medicaid would do anything for him, and by then it was too late, so he died. This does not mean poor people are stupid, it means for us, going to the doctor is an impossibility. I actually cried on Sunday at the hospital because I was so relieved that I could do something to feel better and I didn't have to just suffer. The doctor didn't get why I was crying, but he was nice about it. I think people just don't understand. They don't mean to be dicks, they just don't hear how they sound to someone who never had the privilege of having medical care available BEFORE they were dying.
Запись сделана с помощью m.livejournal.com.