THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS x ELEVENTYMILLIONZILLIONITY
"It is just thoroughly, utterly de-humanizing when someone hurts you and then demands that you take it as a compliment, or justifies something they've done to you based on their own analysis of what it would be convenient to them for you to feel, or denies you something you want or need based on who they think you must be, in the process dumping consequences on you that they'll never have to deal with.
This is the infuriation behind such phrases as "Smile, honey" and "yeah, shake that ass, baby---what're you glaring about, bitch, it was a compliment!" and "you're too young/childless to get a tubal ligation, you'll just find the right man and want kids" and "we need to outlaw abortion to save these poor women from their bad choices" and "lesbian? you just need a good deep-dicking" and numerous others that I'm not thinking of at the moment.
That stereotype, in all its forms, lets people define their effect on a person, in ignorance/refutation of hir actual experience. They thus get to pat themselves on the back and call themselves good people while they hurt someone, and it's one of the most frustrating things in the world to convince them that they're wrong, because it's tied into their image of themselves as a good person, and they'll fight far beyond the bounds of logic to protect that. And you sometimes can't even get them to stop hurting you, because that would require them acknowledging that they ARE hurting you, and they won't do that. It becomes your duty to suffer so that their feelings won't be hurt, which of course they don't deserve because they AREN'T HURTING YOU, DAMMIT!""
Yeah. This is how I feel. And Kyra_Cat_Soul said it because Kyra_Cat_Soul found the words when I couldn't.
This is the infuriation behind such phrases as "Smile, honey" and "yeah, shake that ass, baby---what're you glaring about, bitch, it was a compliment!" and "you're too young/childless to get a tubal ligation, you'll just find the right man and want kids" and "we need to outlaw abortion to save these poor women from their bad choices" and "lesbian? you just need a good deep-dicking" and numerous others that I'm not thinking of at the moment.
That stereotype, in all its forms, lets people define their effect on a person, in ignorance/refutation of hir actual experience. They thus get to pat themselves on the back and call themselves good people while they hurt someone, and it's one of the most frustrating things in the world to convince them that they're wrong, because it's tied into their image of themselves as a good person, and they'll fight far beyond the bounds of logic to protect that. And you sometimes can't even get them to stop hurting you, because that would require them acknowledging that they ARE hurting you, and they won't do that. It becomes your duty to suffer so that their feelings won't be hurt, which of course they don't deserve because they AREN'T HURTING YOU, DAMMIT!""
Yeah. This is how I feel. And Kyra_Cat_Soul said it because Kyra_Cat_Soul found the words when I couldn't.