FUCK YOU
EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME?
I get a message from my friend yesterday that her cat has died and she wants to give me his leftover food and litter. Not wanting to call her at midnight and wake her up, I wait until this morning. I did two huge loads of laundry that I finally had the $10 to do, carried them out the house, down the stairs, across the parking lot, down the stairs, and into the laundry room. After they were done, I carried them up the stairs, across the parking lot, up the stairs, and into the apartment. I am exhausted and in pain. I call her back. She says she can bring the litter around 4 PM. I tell her I might be sleeping by then because I'm tired and in pain and if I'm asleep she can just leave the litter outside my door. She says ok.
Fast forward. It's about 11 AM and I FINALLY manage to lay down and get some sleep. Finally. Throughout my fitful sleep, I hear my phone buzzing a lot with calls (On "silent" my phone can be heard outside the apartment it's so loud) but I'm so exhausted I resolve to answer them later. Then I'm finally in a deep enough sleep to dream when a knocking/banging sound starts. It goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Finally I tear myself awake, get of bed, still hearing tons of banging out in the hall on my door) get clothes on and stumble out to answer the door. It's my friend looking pissed with the bag of cat litter. She says "I knew you were in there. I told you four thirty. I knew you'd answer eventually." Not wanting to strangle her in front of her daughter and friends who were with her, I put on a polite smile until she left. I then checked my phone, which had FOUR calls from her. I checked my messages, and she had left me one pissy sounding message at three PM. "It's Danielle. I THOUGHT you'd be AWAKE by now, but I GUESS not. BYE."
...
Do I really need to explain why this is heartless? I WORKED all FUCKING night while your fat pregnant ass was in bed. I work EVERY night and daylight is the ONLY time I get any sleep. I refrained from calling your waste of sperm ass at midnight because I didn't want to wake you up. How much does it take for you to comprehend that three PM is like midnight for me? I'm EXHAUSTED, you fucking whore, EXHAUSTED, and you KNOW that and STILL you come to my door and wake me up and sound all pissy that I DARED to be asleep at three PM. I hope you get hit in the face with a fucking brick. Today is the day of the miserable cunts who just refuse to lie in a ditch and fucking die already. I tell you what. I'm SO TIRED of people telling me I shouldn't be angry about whatever is making me angry, like I have to ask them permission to feel my emotions.
Fuck it, I might as well say this, even though I'll probably get someone in here mansplaining to me why I shouldn't be upset and why I'm dumber than a pail of lead rocks and don't understand anything. You know what else pisses me off? I'm tired of hearing people talk about how the healthcare bill is historic and then turn around and shake their fingers at me when I deign to express concern about it. I don't want to hear that it's OK that I'm going to start being fined in 2014 if I don't have health insurance. Even working out $695 as the portion I'd have to pay to pay off the fine, that still works out to a substantial amount of my paycheck a month. YES I GODDAMN FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS LESS THAN $100 A MONTH. It's still more than I might be able to pay and still have money to buy food and toilet paper and laundry detergent. I COULDN'T AFFORD TOILET PAPER LAST MONTH. Does that register with anyone when I tell them or are they mentally challenged enough so they somehow can't comprehend anyone's problems but their own? Soon I will be charged with a fine for not having enough money to have health insurance, which means I have to find some way to cripple myself even further financially in order to pay for the barest minimum of coverage, or else I'm going to be fined for not having said coverage. DO NOT EXPLAIN POLITICS TO ME. I understand what I'm saying. Maybe YOU don't understand, but that's not really my problem. Maybe I'll have more money by 2014, maybe health care will be better by 2014, maybe there will be a fucking apocalypse in 2012 and this worry will be moot, but right now, I'm upset that people might be FINED for being poor (more than they're already punished already; don't pretend that poor people aren't being punished already for the crime of not having enough money). Contrary to what you may think, I'm allowed to be upset about these things. Even if YOU love the health care bill, and YOU think it's historic, and YOU think it's great and wonderful and God Bless America and mom and apple pie, I hear all that and I can appreciate that there are good things about it and you're entitled to your opinion, but you DO realize that the flipside of that coin is that I'm entitled to MY opinion too, right? And that I've actually researched and read words on a screen all day and I have braincells in my head, so I can COMPREHEND the details of this health plan, and I'm ALLOWED to be worried for myself or for whomever might be affected by the negative aspects of this bill, and I don't have to ask for your permission to have this opinion. You do realize that, right? Right? Because if not I might have to call you tomorrow morning at three AM to explain it to you. I'll keep calling until you answer, because you don't need sleep. I'll call you 30 times if I have to until you answer. I really need to talk to you. Until then, have a great fucking day.
I get a message from my friend yesterday that her cat has died and she wants to give me his leftover food and litter. Not wanting to call her at midnight and wake her up, I wait until this morning. I did two huge loads of laundry that I finally had the $10 to do, carried them out the house, down the stairs, across the parking lot, down the stairs, and into the laundry room. After they were done, I carried them up the stairs, across the parking lot, up the stairs, and into the apartment. I am exhausted and in pain. I call her back. She says she can bring the litter around 4 PM. I tell her I might be sleeping by then because I'm tired and in pain and if I'm asleep she can just leave the litter outside my door. She says ok.
Fast forward. It's about 11 AM and I FINALLY manage to lay down and get some sleep. Finally. Throughout my fitful sleep, I hear my phone buzzing a lot with calls (On "silent" my phone can be heard outside the apartment it's so loud) but I'm so exhausted I resolve to answer them later. Then I'm finally in a deep enough sleep to dream when a knocking/banging sound starts. It goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Finally I tear myself awake, get of bed, still hearing tons of banging out in the hall on my door) get clothes on and stumble out to answer the door. It's my friend looking pissed with the bag of cat litter. She says "I knew you were in there. I told you four thirty. I knew you'd answer eventually." Not wanting to strangle her in front of her daughter and friends who were with her, I put on a polite smile until she left. I then checked my phone, which had FOUR calls from her. I checked my messages, and she had left me one pissy sounding message at three PM. "It's Danielle. I THOUGHT you'd be AWAKE by now, but I GUESS not. BYE."
...
Do I really need to explain why this is heartless? I WORKED all FUCKING night while your fat pregnant ass was in bed. I work EVERY night and daylight is the ONLY time I get any sleep. I refrained from calling your waste of sperm ass at midnight because I didn't want to wake you up. How much does it take for you to comprehend that three PM is like midnight for me? I'm EXHAUSTED, you fucking whore, EXHAUSTED, and you KNOW that and STILL you come to my door and wake me up and sound all pissy that I DARED to be asleep at three PM. I hope you get hit in the face with a fucking brick. Today is the day of the miserable cunts who just refuse to lie in a ditch and fucking die already. I tell you what. I'm SO TIRED of people telling me I shouldn't be angry about whatever is making me angry, like I have to ask them permission to feel my emotions.
Fuck it, I might as well say this, even though I'll probably get someone in here mansplaining to me why I shouldn't be upset and why I'm dumber than a pail of lead rocks and don't understand anything. You know what else pisses me off? I'm tired of hearing people talk about how the healthcare bill is historic and then turn around and shake their fingers at me when I deign to express concern about it. I don't want to hear that it's OK that I'm going to start being fined in 2014 if I don't have health insurance. Even working out $695 as the portion I'd have to pay to pay off the fine, that still works out to a substantial amount of my paycheck a month. YES I GODDAMN FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS LESS THAN $100 A MONTH. It's still more than I might be able to pay and still have money to buy food and toilet paper and laundry detergent. I COULDN'T AFFORD TOILET PAPER LAST MONTH. Does that register with anyone when I tell them or are they mentally challenged enough so they somehow can't comprehend anyone's problems but their own? Soon I will be charged with a fine for not having enough money to have health insurance, which means I have to find some way to cripple myself even further financially in order to pay for the barest minimum of coverage, or else I'm going to be fined for not having said coverage. DO NOT EXPLAIN POLITICS TO ME. I understand what I'm saying. Maybe YOU don't understand, but that's not really my problem. Maybe I'll have more money by 2014, maybe health care will be better by 2014, maybe there will be a fucking apocalypse in 2012 and this worry will be moot, but right now, I'm upset that people might be FINED for being poor (more than they're already punished already; don't pretend that poor people aren't being punished already for the crime of not having enough money). Contrary to what you may think, I'm allowed to be upset about these things. Even if YOU love the health care bill, and YOU think it's historic, and YOU think it's great and wonderful and God Bless America and mom and apple pie, I hear all that and I can appreciate that there are good things about it and you're entitled to your opinion, but you DO realize that the flipside of that coin is that I'm entitled to MY opinion too, right? And that I've actually researched and read words on a screen all day and I have braincells in my head, so I can COMPREHEND the details of this health plan, and I'm ALLOWED to be worried for myself or for whomever might be affected by the negative aspects of this bill, and I don't have to ask for your permission to have this opinion. You do realize that, right? Right? Because if not I might have to call you tomorrow morning at three AM to explain it to you. I'll keep calling until you answer, because you don't need sleep. I'll call you 30 times if I have to until you answer. I really need to talk to you. Until then, have a great fucking day.