It's beginning to look a lot like crap

[malakijr]

I'm in pain. I have a migraine so bad I'm literally crying as I type this, I'm tired of being called stupid because apparently I can't express myself like one of the cool kids, I have cramps, and I'm scared. I'm so upset I bought a chocolate bar last night and ate the whole thing (it was big). Those of you who know how much I hate chocolate and how I only crave it when I'm so stressed I wish I was dead know how weird that is. I called my friend Heidi in a panic because I didn't want to miss my appointment today and I found out that she got fired from her job as a teacher because she tried to get people to look into the case of this kid who was being abused and the Newaygo school district got pissy because they said she was meddling where she didn't belong and giving their program a bad name, so the gave her the axe. She's crushed and feels like a failure and wants to kill herself (we cried on the phone together about our mutually hideous lives) but the plus side is she doesn't have a job so she said she could give me a ride if I gave her $40 gas money, so I did. She came over and spent the night and we watched the Saw movies (we plan to watch the fifth one after we get out of my appointment today).

...

I want to put up a Christmas tree. After I get back from having my cervix ripped out (yes I KNOW they're not really going to do that, don't correct me, I'm using hyperbole to make the point that I am nervous about what will happen at this appointment) if I feel as shitty as I do right now, I don't give a fuck if I'm poor and it's only October, I'm buying a Christmas tree and ornaments and putting them up. So there.