Complete

[blindedbyice]

Title: Assessment
Characters: Akira, Sakura
Location: Sakura's office
Rating: PG
Summary: Akira needs a physical after arriving
Day/Time: 69, morning

Comments

[strngrthnuthnk]

Sakura quickly made her way to the door through all the papers. Her office had somehow become more cluttered than normal. She blamed neglectful friends who came to her place of work and then ignored her existence. She had actually found herself quite frazzled as of late. She suppossed it didn't much matter how her office appeared, however, as this particular patient was blind. She'd been browsing his chart before he showed up.

She slowly opened the door so as not to startle the man. "Hello! You're Akira, right? Please, do come in. Do you need any help?" She held out her hand to lead him through the mess that was her office and living space at Malaise.

[blindedbyice]

He smiled when he heard the new voice and looked towards her. Akira didn't bother with sunglasses to hide his eyes, even though he'd been told that the heavy scarring almost completely hiding the pale blue they'd once been was creepy.

"I should be fine, but I'll let you know if I need help." He stepped inside slowly, using his hands and legs to find out where things nearby were to avoid crashing into anything. His way of doing things might not be what some of his old doctors liked, but it make him feel more independent.

[strngrthnuthnk]

Sakura nodded, more to herself than her patient since he couldn't see the gesture anyway. She could understand the man's need for independence, but she was understandably nervous about his falling due to the mess that was around her office. If it was clean, she probably would have felt better. She made a mental note to keep her office tidy from now on- or at least to keep things off the floor.

"If you could take a seat wherever, we can begin," she said kindly, taking her own seat and picking up Akira's chart.

[blindedbyice]

He walked slowly until his hand brushed against a chair. Akira sat down slowly. There wasn't much need for people to worry about him, but he could understand the reason for their concern.

"The most recent notes in my file should be from the day I was discharged from my old hospital. That was just a few days ago, so this shouldn't take too long."

[strngrthnuthnk]

Sakura nodded, going down his chart to the points of interest. "So I see here you've had knee surgery. How are your knees feelings? I know that sometimes a drastic change in environment and weather such has this can irritate such things."

[blindedbyice]

"I thought I was used to the cold, but either it's worse here than I'm used to or I'm not walking enough to get the stiffness to go away. It's just a dull ache, though. Nothing I can't tolerate on my own." He reached up to absently push hair out of his face. It tickled.

[strngrthnuthnk]

"That's normal, " Sakura responded, making a note on the chart. "Extreme temperatures, especially cold, can cause things like that to happen. I know you say you can handle it, but if you ever feel the need, I will be more than happy to give you something for it."

Going down the chart, Sakura came to what she had been wanting to ask since she first looked at. "It says here you were blinded by acid. Though the part that bothers me most is that it says you did it to yourself. I'm no therapist, but I must ask- why?" The doctor leaned forward in her chair, clasping her hands on her knees.

[blindedbyice]

He'd known the question would come up. Everyone asked, but nobody could understand his reasoning. Akira laughed coldly and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

"That's the question in everyone's mind. I suspect my answer is the reason I was sent here instead of home. Imagine growing up feeling as if part of your body is wrong, extra. Thinking about that part of you makes you sick, but for most of your life, there's no choice but to use it and be the best at what you like to do.

But then you reach your peak and there's nothing to do but start a new chapter in life. It would be a much happier chapter without that extra body part, that piece of you that felt like it should have been gone all along. So no matter the risk, you remove it and feel happier. Only now, the world thinks you're crazy. Because who would willingly lose something as vital as their sight?"

Although his words were polite, his tone could have frozen the air around him.

[strngrthnuthnk]

Sakura bit at her lip anxiously. She had grown up around people who had had issues with parts of themselves, but she had never once thought someone could go as far as Akira had. The thought made her stomach churn, and she could just hit herself for that. She was a doctor, damn it! She shouldn't be so easily disturbed by such things. Still, it wasn't as if she had been trained to work with the mentally deranged- for lack of a better description. However, she quickly gained control over those emotions. She quickly released her bottom lip from her teeth and wrote something down.

"Have you discussed this at all with your therapist?" she asked.

[blindedbyice]

His face fell, the happy man he'd been moments ago almost completely gone as Akira wrinkled his forehead and became even colder. Glaring was a reflexive act, though it only made his eyes look even stranger. There were no audible clues to judge her reaction, but silence told him a lot.

"I discussed this in great length at my old hospital, Doctor. His first reaction was to consider me a threat to myself."

[strngrthnuthnk]

Sakura nodded out of reflex. By every medical standard, Akira's previous doctor was correct. The man was a danger to himself. However, Sakura couldn't simply tell Akira she agreed with his previous doctor. Working with the patients at Malaise was a delicate dance. It took much to gain their trust, but nothing to lose it.

"I suppose I can understand where you're coming from," Sakura ventured carefully, "but... Well, I can also see why your past doctor would also say what he did."

Taking a deep breath, Sakura continued, "Do you have any idea why you felt that your eyes did not belong?"

[blindedbyice]

He balled his hands into tight fists and took several slow breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. The ritual, born from a lifetime of training and competition, took the edge off his annoyance, but didn't make it go away completely. There was nothing wrong with him.

Akira sighed, still visibly exasperated. "There is nothing in my past to hint at a cause. No old eye injuries or infections, no blind family or friends I would have admired. I suspect it's much the same as a transsexual friend of mine who feels so detached from the genitals that she was born with that she allows them to be hurt for her partner's satisfaction."

At least, that's the conclusion he'd reached after talking with the young woman multiple times.

[strngrthnuthnk]

Sakura made a sound of understanding in the back of her throat. She was still slightly disturbed, even if what he said made sense. However, she knew that the friend he spoke of must also have some issues that needed to be discussed. Sakura found nothing wrong with being a transsexual, but to let herself be hurt was not right in any way, shape, or form.

"Still, I would like you to discuss why you have such a hatred for your eyes with your therapist. After all, you're already here, what worse can we do to you for simply talking?"

[blindedbyice]

He stood up smoothly and scowled. As otherwise nice as she seemed, there was no reason to stay here if she chose to focus on something that was not her business.

"I do not hate them, but I have already agreed to meet her tomorrow. If there is no further examination you wish to do, it would be best for me to leave," Akira grumbled.

[strngrthnuthnk]

Sakura stood swiftly, causing her rolly chair to roll and hit the wall. "Wait a minute!" she called, sounding much harsher than she had really intended. She was starting to think she didn't have the patience to work with crazies.

[blindedbyice]

"I haven't left yet," he practically spat. "But in the future, you may wish to refrain from saying something about me that isn't true."

Akira would let her do the examination required, but he wouldn't speak to her again other than to answer questions as simply as possible.