everything again, all over the place, toasted marshmallow style
i can't articulate in how many ways my life is good. i start riding this wave, and then i am immediately humbled by the pain of others around me, and far away. especially those around me though, those that i love that are hurting so much. it makes my happiness feel wrong, but i can't help but fight that tide and try to embrace it, because feeling good is too good to pass up.
i'm giving so much credit to actually exercising (jogging) for the first time in my life, on a regular basis. being more active gives me such a mental and physical boost, i'm convinced it's partly to blame for my overall sense of well-being.
i can't explain how much i love my children, my babies. i can't articulate how much they mean to me, in any way that does the fact of it any justice. they are my delight, my constant reminder of how beautiful things can be, and how unworthy i am of being tasked with their care. i can only try my best to impart to them the things that i deem important in life, which i seem to lose sight of on an almost daily basis, due to the busy-ness and the impending mundanity that sweeps over the day like a flood.
i think about death a lot. who doesn't? i think about how people would think of me, how they might remember me. what did i do? what did i love? who was i? there's no one answer. i'm something different to every one, but i want these electronic truths to endure ... i have had a most wonderful life, so many beautiful moments both happy and sad, and i am so fortunate to have so much, and be loved by so many. i am so grateful.