c'est la vie
"Hurry Jaejoong!" Junsu yells from the living room. I quickly swallow my meds and take a quick glance at my appearance in the mirror. I let out a long sigh and head to the living room.
"Hyung! We need to hurry! We can’t be late for this photo shoot!" Changmin says grabbing a bag of chips on his way out the door.
"Well let’s go then!" I say rolling my eyes. Though something I noticed out of the corner of my eye was Yunho watching me ever so carefully as if he could see right through me and my little secret.
~
"That’s a wrap!" The photographer announces as he walks to his computer.
"Ah, it’s over!" Yoochun says slumping down on the chair. "Hey,” I said grabbing my bag and walking toward the door, “guys I’m gonna leave k?" But before I could leave Yunho stepped in front of me.
"Where are you going Jae?" he asks as he towers over me.
- "I’m gonna meet a friend..." I reply while trying to go around him.
He steps in front of me again. "No... You shouldn’t," He says looking me up and down.
“I’m going. Move aside." I say glaring at him. Yunho’s attitude was making me rather angry.
"I’m the leader so listen to me." I hated it when he said that; he knew I didn’t like when he said that so that’s why he did it.
"MOVE IT YUNHO," I yell, more pissed then I have ever been. He wavers and steps back for a second, but after the surprise he quickly regains his posture.
"No. You can’t go… not today."
I push him out of the way and head for the door.
"JAE!" He yells walking behind me. "I SAID STOP NOW!" He yelled again but I didn’t even turn back. Instead, I quickly made my way out the door and into a taxi.
~
"Hey Jae!" Taegoon called waving for me in front of the studio.
"Hey Tae…" I said smiling at him. Taegoon and I have been best friends since forever, all the way back to our high school years. We both walked up the path into the building.
"SO… what did you want? I thought you were busy." He said looking at me with a smirk. "Ditching?" I laughed and shook my head. Typical Taegoon…
We both wander up to the roof to talk. The studio’s roof top had the best view and we would always talk about stuff that should never reach other peoples’ ears up here. And with us being celebrities, people were bound to be very nosy about the topics of our discussions.
"So talk… what’s up?" He started off breaking the silence that had formed between us. We both were lying on our backs looking up at the sky so I turn on my side and face him.
"It’s…" I look away at the sensation of his concerned gaze on me.
"I have cancer." I said slowly trying not to make eye contact. When I receive no response from Taegoon, I glance at him and find him staring at me his mouth slightly hanging open. I sit up and stare at him.
"Keep your mouth open and bugs will fly in." I said bringing my knees up to my chest.
"You... H-Have cancer?" He asks slowly, his eyes still wide from disbelief. "Yes. I found out about 5 days ago." I explained thinking if it really has been that short of time, when it felt to me like it had been so long ago.
"Do the others know?" He questions quietly before sitting up and moving closer to me.
- "No," I murmur looking at my knees and suddenly I was being hugged by him and I felt something wet land on my neck. He was crying…
"J-J…Jae…" Taegoon sob and I wrap my arms around him, feeling tears welling into my eyes as well. Never had I seen Taegoon cry like this. I remember the first and only time he cried was when he found out that his girlfriend was cheating on him.
He pulls away and looks at me, his eyes puffy.
"You have to tell them Jae…" He said quickly as if he knew I had not much time. I know it sounds negative but… I feel as if my life is like the fine sand in an hour glass, ticking away grain by grain.
"I will. Just… not now." I say, unable to hide the anxious tone of my voice.
“Jae… You can’t hide it… they have to know. Think of what it’s going to do to them." He was right. But sometimes right and wrong really mean nothing. It was just a bunch of bull shit that didn’t even matter.
"I will." I say looking away towards the big city. "
So… will it go away?" He asks also staring at the buildings and people walking on the streets.
"Maybe." I answered with earnest but in reality I wasn’t sure at all. To me, I already felt like I was dying, slowly but very surely.
"I yelled at Yunho today." I admitted out of the blue and I could feel his surprised gaze on me.
"Really? Jae yelled at Yunho?" He tried to sound shocked and I let out a laugh, nodding my head.
"I think he knows something’s wrong. He always watches me like I might pass out on him…" Even though that probably could happen and I could tell my little try at a joke wasn’t funny to him.
"Yunho’s smart. He cares for you guys..." Tae said, his tone a little angry.
"I have to go." I say slowly getting up, as he did he holds me back and stares deep into my eyes.
"Promise" He insists with an intense stare.
"Promise what?" I ask trying to look away and play dumb. But it would only make him angry if I try so I don’t.
"To tell the rest of the guys…" I look down.
"I… Promise..." I sigh looking back at him.
He smiles and pats my back. "Good." And we leave it at that, although I have no clue how I was going to follow through on that plan.
~
I walk into the house and take my shoes off before heading to the kitchen to prepare for dinner.
“So, where were you?" I jump and look over to see Yunho who was sitting on the couch facing away from me.
"I was just chatting with Taegoon." I reply heading to the fridge to get out the ingredients for the meal.
"I never want to see you disobey me ever again, understood?" He said in a low and scary voice that made me shudder but angry at the same time.
"Excuse me?" I ask regaining my posture.
"You heard me Jae..." He growls tensing at my tone.
I walk to stand in front of him and his expression was as scary as his voice. It was blank with no emotion.
"I can do what I damn please." I exclaimed putting my hand on my hip and staring down at him as he glares back at me.
- "DONT TALK BACK TO ME!" He yells before standing up to tower over me again.
"I am older than you! I don’t have to listen to you!" I yell back, getting a little pissed at his commands. He grabs my wrist and pulls me forward before hissing his next words.
"Don’t disobey me." and with that he let go of my aching wrist and went to his room, the door slamming behind him as he stepped in.
I remain on the couch with my head in my hands, trying to control the sobs breaking threw my lips.
"Hyung…" I look up through the tears strolling down my cheeks to see a wide-eyed Changmin staring at me. "Yes Min?" I ask wiping my tears.
"Are… you okay?" he questions hesitantly before sitting down next to me and patting my back. "Yes I’m fine." I smile. "What would you like for dinner tonight?" I ask getting up.
"How about takeout… you don’t look too good." Changmin has always been the kind one. Gentle… but very spoiled though.
"Sure. How about pizza?" He nods and I go the phone.
I really can’t tell them... I would ruin what relationship we seem to have left.
But I didn’t think of what was going to await me the next day.
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Hey people this was betaed by meer-sshi :D Also.. I will be posting this story on This communitee now.. So if you wanna read it you have to read it from there.
missa_markie