make amends

[makoeyespuppy]

Zack stared at the door. This was ridiculous, and he knew it. He'd been standing in front of the door for the better part of a minute, staring at it like an idiot, and his hands were sweating under the leather of his gloves. This was supposed to be a good thing, and still could turn out that way; there was no reason to act as though he were facing

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[l_brokensword_l]

Angeal was sitting on the bed with a foil-covered glass pan of brownies next to him. He looked up worriedly as Zack peeked in. "The chocolate's still melty."

[makoeyespuppy]

"Best kind," Zack said, moving in slowly. He didn't close the door behind him entirely; he didn't trust this place, and the last thing they needed was to get trapped in here together with no escape route. He pulled out the chair from the small desk and sat cautiously.

"Um. So."

[l_brokensword_l]

"Why don't you go first? Or would you rather... not talk about that?" Avoiding eye-contact a bit, Angeal nudged the warm pan of brownies closer to Zack.

[makoeyespuppy]

"Hey, you were the one who said we should talk." He looked at the brownies, but it didn't seem worth the effort to actually get up again and get one.

[l_brokensword_l]

"I did. I just... don't want to upset you. You said I didn't understand, so I thought explanations might be in order."

[makoeyespuppy]

"I dunno what you want me to explain. Look. I feel like... I got my heart stomped on, and I'm hungover, a little, and I have pain in a place that really doesn't need to feel that kinda pain, and I'm ...overwhelmed, I guess." He shrugged, looking away.

[l_brokensword_l]

Wincing sympathetically, Angeal walked over to Zack, handing him the Esuna Angeal had found, earlier. "Where do you keep the curatives?" Angeal's voice was a gentle, paternal murmur. He leaned in to wrap his arms around Zack.

[makoeyespuppy]

"Bracer, on the bedside table. Thanks." He cast esuna on himself, ridding his body of the last traces of intoxication. Arching his back, he tried to move away from the embrace without being obvious about it. "Uh, I don't think touching is such a good idea. Sorry."

[l_brokensword_l]

Angeal let Zack move away easily, though it was more with the look of giving up than just removing his arms. Quietly, he went to the bracer on the bedside table, picking it up and taking it back to Zack, handing it to him wordlessly.

"I'm sorry. Zack--" Drawing a deep breath to calm himself, and letting it out in a sigh, he managed, "You said you thought I felt guilty for the wrong things. What is it that I do not understand I have done?"

Never having been the best at concealing his expressions, Angeal looked a lot like Zack felt. The past weeks had been too much, and he had no idea what was going on, half the time, in this place.

[makoeyespuppy]

Zack paused for a moment, gathering his strength before he cast the magic. He was feeling a little worn down, and the impending talk wasn't exactly doing wonders to make it any better. Tossing the bracer aside when he was done with a low sigh of relief, he looked up at Angeal through the fall of his hair.

"I can't really explain without sounding stupid and melodramatic. And really emo. Really, every bad stereotype." He fumbled for words. "I don't know how to say it without making you uncomfortable. I can't just ...turn off what I used to feel."

[l_brokensword_l]

Angeal blinked, confused. "You think I should regret my response to your advances? And don't worry about how any of it sounds. Just say it. You've got a lot to get off your chest."

[makoeyespuppy]

"No! That's the thing. You shouldn't have to regret it; if you don't feel it, you don't feel it. But...on the other hand, you gotta understand that I still feel." He stopped suddenly, chewing his lower lip. "You know."

[l_brokensword_l]

"Zack, I... never stopped understanding that. I put you through a lot, I know..."

[makoeyespuppy]

"I don't think you really do, though. I know you're not doing it on purpose, and that it would be easier if I could just ignore it." He shrugged miserably. "I mean, I can try to. Just ...don't touch me, ok?"

[l_brokensword_l]

A nod, at that. "Alright. Do you... want to talk about it?"

[makoeyespuppy]

He shrugged awkwardly. "I dunno what you want me to say."