#23 i only wanted fun {2/2}
They choose a local 24-hour ramen shop just a couple of blocks away from campus. It’s nothing fancy, which is pretty much the point considering they’re both broke college students, but it is a place that nearly every student frequents for late night ramen cravings. To make it even better, they have the best jajangmyeon in all of Korea in Sehun’s opinion. So, they order two bowls and a side of tteokbokki, falling into a comfortable silence with the sound of food frying and pans clanking in the background along with the aroma of different types of ramen wafting into their nostrils.
There is no awkwardness between them. Of course, Sehun is sure that there shouldn’t be any lingering awkwardness considering they’d just blown each other to orgasm only half an hour before they arrived. On the other hand, Sehun isn’t sure if the comfortable feeling is something to embrace or fear just yet because the last time he felt comfortable being out with someone who wasn’t Baekhyun and Chanyeol was when he was with Luhan, and it had taken him months to get to that point. He has only known Jongin (personally, anyway) for not even a full two days yet.
He decides to worry about it later because the thought disappears when he glances up from his bowl to find Jongin sucking a noodle into his mouth, black bean sauce clinging to his chin and on his lips. Sehun doesn’t hold back his laughter as he passes a napkin over, “Wearing your food really isn’t a good look for you.”
Jongin blinks dumbly before he catches on. He pinks and quickly wipes his face clean while Sehun stuffs his mouth full of noodles, showing off that there’s no mess left behind on his face. Jongin’s glare is cute almost to a fault.
“In my defense, this is a messy food and it could be worse. You’re lucky you’re not watching me eat fried chicken,”
“Why, do you have bones flying left and right?” Sehun asks jokingly.
“The grease is also a pretty gross sight to see,”
“Yeah,” Sehun nods. “That sounds like a pretty gross sight to see.”
Jongin makes a face and Sehun smiles to himself as he begins picking at his noodles, paying no attention to Jongin’s wandering eyes until he hears a small puff of laughter across from him. He looks up mid-bite, a few noodles dangling out of his mouth, to see that Jongin is smiling warmly, his gaze locked just past Sehun’s head. Sehun slurps the noodles into his mouth and turns with his eyebrow arched in curiosity.
Across the street, standing underneath the streetlight, is a couple that looks to be pushing their sixties. The man has his arms tight around his wife’s shoulders, his head covering the top of hers as he holds her as close as he can, and a smile on his face that stretches almost ear to ear. The smile on his face grows even wider when she looks up at him and presses a kiss to his cheek and Sehun hears Jongin laugh again.
“I think couples like that are so lucky,” he says.
Sehun turns to face him, “Oh really? How so?”
This isn’t a topic that Sehun is all that interested in, but he’s curious of what Jongin is going to say, and he’s not sure why really.
Jongin hums in thought as he sets his chopsticks beside his half empty bowl. “The divorce rate in this country is spiking constantly - how many people these days actually get to say that they’ve been with their perpetual love for more than five years?”
Sehun blinks.
“Call me cheesy, but I just genuinely enjoy seeing older couples together. It’s proof that not every relationship is going to end in heartbreak.”
Sehun wants to laugh because every relationship ends in heartbreak, at least in his personal experience, but the look on Jongin’s face is unreadable when he looks at Sehun again - almost like he’s hopeless but hoping -, so Sehun just smiles and goes back to picking at his noodles.
“Sounds like you’ve had your heartbroken then.”
Jongin shrugs and starts digging into the tteokbokki, “Hasn’t everybody?”
Sehun wants to ask who it was that broke Jongin’s heart, but he decides that’s for a later conversation.
Perpetual. The word rolls over and over in Sehun’s mind that night when he’s tucked in bed and can’t sleep because he’s thinking too much.
There was a point in his life when he thought he knew what perpetual meant, and what it meant was that him and Luhan were going to be together throughout college, get their dream jobs, get married, and settle down on the outskirts of Seoul in a nice neighborhood.
Now, what it means is that Sehun is going to go through life dreading that word and everything that it stands for because nothing is perpetual, no matter how strong a love between two people can be.
Jongin has to be blind to the fact that love doesn’t always mean eternal happiness, he thinks. Sehun turns to his side and shuts his lamp off.
Sehun is up to his elbows in homework, stress weighing in on his brain to the point that he is ready to tear his hair out when Jongin had texts him to come over about a week later.
9:13
my roommate’s gone for the weekend. netflix and chill? ;p
Sehun’s laugh is an automatic response.
9:16
that line won’t work on me sorry be a little more impressive
9:17
video games and beer?
And your ass, Sehun thinks.
9:21
i’ll be over in 20
He quickly changes out of his worn shirt with three holes around the neckline and into something more presentable before he dashes to the bathroom to fix his mess of hair, combing his fingers through it because he won’t get laid with his hair poking up in different directions most likely - unless Jongin is into the whole slob look.
“Got a hot date, Sehun?”
Sehun glances over to see Zitao coming out of one of the stalls. Zitao is a Chinese exchange student, like Luhan, and he is the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome as hell. Feline like eyes, chiseled features, and a body that must have been sculpted by angels themselves all encased in tanned skin and heart-shaped lips. It’s no wonder Sehun had wanted to get in his pants since Zitao first arrived in Korea.
Sehun shrugs, bending down to splash some water on his face so he doesn’t look so tired when he gets to Jongin’s. “Something like that,” he replies. Zitao licks his lips and examines himself in the mirror, ruffling his hair up in the front, and then turns to face Sehun.
“Something like that, huh? I’ve had a lot of dates like that,” he smiles lopsidedly, arrogantly. “You’ve been messing around with that Jongin kid, right?”
Sehun pauses and watches him from the corner of his eyes, “How’d you know that?”
He shrugs, “Hook-up’s spread like wildfire around here. You two have been attached at the hip for the past two weeks. Anyway, have fun. Be safe.”
And then he makes his exit and Sehun is left confused. Zitao has an enticing presence - it’s a little hard not to be intimidated by even his simplest gestures. Sehun shrugs to himself and shuts the water off.
When he gets to Jongin’s, he is greeted by Jongin in all of his perfectly presentable glory. His grey joggers hang just right on his hips and his black tank hugs his torso in all of the right places, just tight enough that Sehun is left remembering the taut muscles that lay just underneath the thin material. “What should we start with?” he asks, stepping aside to let Sehun in.
Sehun vaguely thinks oral is always a good start, but then he realizes that Jongin is referring to the video games that he has set out.
“GTA. I’m in the mood for shooting people,” Sehun grumbles with a pout, pushing past Jongin. There’s two unopened beers on the coffee table and a bucket of fried chicken (that, Sehun notes, has already been torn into), and two XBOX controllers laying on the couch.
“Rough night?”
Sehun huffs and flops on the couch, “Yeah, I’ve spent the whole day swimming in homework.”
Jongin sits beside Sehun and grabs a beer, twisting the cap off and bringing the bottle to his lips. He take three gulps and then looks at Sehun when he puts the bottle down.
“You, my friend, need a beer,”
Sehun couldn’t agree more.
He reaches for the other beer and chugs it until it’s about half gone - because, like Jongin had said, he needs it -, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand when he sets the bottle down again. Jongin stares at the half empty bottle and then at Sehun. Sehun shrugs, “College stress, what can I say?”
Jongin wets his lips and tilts his head, “You know, there’s one cure to stress that never fails,”
Sehun can feel the mood between them change with just that sentence, and the way Jongin’s eyes darken as he makes himself comfortable in Sehun’s lap is confirmation that beer and video games wasn’t the only Jongin had in mind - which is okay, because Sehun’s had this in mind all day.
Jongin’s thighs settle comfortably around Sehun’s waist, and his weight is just the right amount of pressure to get Sehun feeling hot between his legs. Sehun’s hand slides up one of Jongin’s thighs to play with the string on the front of his sweats, easily pulling it loose while Jongin twirls Sehun’s hair around his fingers, tightening his grip so he can pull Sehun’s head back to kiss him full on the mouth.
The kiss makes Sehun feel light-headed, but he tries his hardest to keep his hands and fingers moving over what parts of Jongin’s body they can get to; thumbs rubbing at his hip bones, hands moving up under his shirt and over his taut stomach, fingers pinching at each of his nipples. Jongin gasps lightly, pausing long enough to collect himself.
“Can we skip the foreplay? I’ve been fucking dying to ride you since I woke up,” he admits breathlessly.
“Fuck Jongin,” is all Sehun responds with, fingers still ghosting over Jongin’s nipples.
He lets out a small noise and then scurries out of Sehun’s lap, “I’m gonna grab a condom,”
Sehun nods as Jongin rushes off to his room, sweatpants sagging dangerously low on his hips enough to allow Sehun a peek at the elastic of his underwear. His own sweatpants are starting to feel too tight, and he presses his palm against the base of his dick for what relief he can get. It’s not enough, so he decides that stripping his sweatpants off would be a better option, lifting his hips and then kicking them off to the floor.
Jongin returns moments later with a condom and his half used bottle of lube. He smirks when he spots Sehun’s less dressed state, head tilting as if he’s sizing Sehun up.
“This is a great look for you,” he laughs. He sheds his own sweatpants along with his tank top right there, leaving Sehun to drool (figuratively) over every defined muscle and the obvious tent formed in his underwear.
Yeah, Sehun thinks, of course Jongin would think that catching me palming myself is a good look. Sehun also thinks holy shit his body is perfect why isn’t he riding me yet?
He watches Jongin slide his underwear off, the tip of his cock flushed already, and he almost has the urge to crawl over and blow him to completion just so he can have the advantage of glancing up to see thick lips parted in needy moans and low curses again. But he doesn’t. Instead, he sits and lets Jongin make his way over, and bites his lip in anticipation when Jongin hooks his fingers in the elastic of Sehun’s boxers and tells him to lift his hips up, revealing the pink head of Sehun’s cock once they’re off.
Jongin hums appreciatively, getting in position on his knees, and grabs the base so he can guide the head right into his mouth. Sehun moans and wants nothing more than to push his hips up so he can go deeper into the heat of Jongin’s mouth. Jongin moans and, as if the vibrations weren’t enough, makes a filthy show of flicking his tongue over the head. Sehun reaches his hand down and grabs a handful of hair, “Jongin.”
“Hmm?”
“I thought we were - uh - skipping this,” he bites out, torn between wanting to get off in Jongin’s mouth and wanting Jongin to ride him.
Jongin bobs his head a few more times, making sure Sehun is getting a good view of how his tongue swipes over the head and down the length, before he pulls off with an obscene noise and shrugs, “This was too hard to resist.”
“Do you mean that literally or figuratively?” Sehun grins.
“Both,” he says, muffled as he tears the foil open with his teeth.
Jongin looks up long enough to grin back and then returns his attention to rolling the condom down Sehun’s dick. He then grabs the lube and pours a generous amount into the palm of his hand, uses it to slick Sehun’s cock up, and then he pours more onto his fingers and reaches behind to prep himself. Sehun watches with hooded eyes, pink lips tucked between his teeth as Jongin climbs into his lap once more, thighs hugging the sides of Sehun’s waist, their cocks sliding together as Jongin gets comfortable.
Sehun holds Jongin’s hips in place as the other balances himself in position so he can sink down, face twisting up in slight discomfort before he bottoms out, panting and stuffed to the hilt. “Shit,” Sehun curses, grabbing two handfuls of Jongin’s ass as if it’ll make it any easier to keep himself from thrusting up.
The first roll of Jongin’s hips has Sehun’s head falling back against the couch because, fuck, it’s so good and Jongin is so tight around him that he can barely find the will to move his hips up like he’d been dying to do just moments before.
“You feel so good,” Jongin moans. He’s gotten marginally better at this fuck buddy deal since the first time they hooked up. The first two times they fucked (not including the oral aspects of their friendship), Jongin had been a blushing mess of unsure touches and awkwardly placed kisses, but now he’s all confident and sultry, like he knows how bad Sehun wants to be buried inside him, and he uses that knowledge to his full advantage.
Sehun tightens his grip on Jongin’s hips and fucks up when Jongin sinks down, not giving Jongin a break as he angles his cock to hit that spot that makes Jongin garble out incoherent sentences and pleas. Sehun feels like he’s on fire, and Jongin rides him until he feels like he’ll explode, his gut coiling with heavy pressure and his cock pulsing as it slides against Jongin’s walls.
“Sehun,” Jongin whines, rolling his hips faster. “Touch me, please touch me. I can’t - I’m so close,”
His face is flushed red and his chest is covered in sweat, hair a mussed mess as he bounces on Sehun’s cock, and Sehun doesn’t like how he gets the urge to pull Jongin into a kiss. Glancing down, he wets his lips at the sight of Jongin’s dick heavy against his stomach, a pearl of precome at the slit, and reaches down to grab it. He thumbs the head and gets the tip nice and wet, stroking down and back up until Jongin cries out and comes thick in Sehun’s hand, some spilling out onto Sehun’s shirt.
Sehun comes when the feeling of Jongin’s clenching around him becomes unbearable, head tossed back and his lips parted as he moans.
Jongin slumps against Sehun as he catches his breath and Sehun doesn’t push him away even with the odd feeling in his chest. When Jongin lifts his head again, Sehun caves and tugs him into an open-mouthed kiss, nipping and licking at the swell of Jongin’s bottom lip.
“Still feel stressed?” Jongin simpers, looking rather pleased at Sehun’s thoroughly fucked-out state. Sehun grins and shoves at Jongin’s shoulders.
“Get off of me you cocky little shit,”
Jongin laughs and stands to retrieve his clothes from the floor, and Sehun stands to do the same. He looks down at his shirt after he has his underwear and sweats back on, “Uh Jongin, do you have a shirt I can borrow? You kinda soiled mine.”
Jongin burns red from the tips of his ears all the way to his chest as he nods, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Leave it here, I’ll wash it for you.”
Sehun follows him to his room, soiled sweatshirt clenched between his hand, and Jongin is still muttering apologies as he rummages through his closet. “It’s fine,” Sehun starts, “I mean at least I have proof that I got laid, right?”
The laugh that Jongin lets out is shy and cute. It makes Sehun laugh a little, too.
“It also gives Baekhyun and Chanyeol a reason to tease you into the next life,”
Sehun frowns, “Yeah okay, you can wash it and return it whenever,”
Jongin turns to him, handing him a navy blue sweatshirt with a laugh. “I’ll return it in secret so they’ll never find out,” he says and reaches down to grab Sehun’s black sweatshirt from his hand, tossing it to the dirty pile of clothes at the end of his bed.
He walks with Sehun back to the door and tells him goodnight with a half smile and his eyes bright as he waves. Sehun waves back and hails the first taxi to come into his sight.
“Wanna go to a party?” Baekhyun asks Sehun the next night as he lounges around on Kyungsoo’s bed (if Kyungsoo caught him he’d decapitate him for sure), throwing paper balls and paper airplanes at the back of Sehun’s head.
He’s a little more than half done with his homework, having spent the day with his butt planted on his bed with what felt like a million textbooks and papers were spread out before him whilst Jongin sent him encouraging texts punctuated with adorable emojis that made Sehun smile too much for his liking.
“Who’s throwing this shindig?” Sehun asks as he dodges another wad of paper.
“Shindig?” Baekhyun snorts.
“I learned a new word today,”
“Yeah, one from the twenties - anyway, Jongdae’s throwing the party. You in?”
Glancing at what homework he has left, Sehun sighs and then looks over at Baekhyun, “Yeah, I think I could use a party.”
He’s not sure how true that is because the last time he was at a party was when he got dumped, but, then again, the alcohol is free and it’s the weekend. After being a responsible college student for the entire day, Sehun thinks he has earned the divine right to drink his weight in beer considering what’s left of his assignments aren’t due until sometime next week.
“Cool, please wear something that doesn’t scream hobo,”
Sehun hurls a pillow at Baekhyun’s head.
It feels a bit nostalgic when he arrives. The setting is all the same; countertops full of alcohol, people grinding, couples off to the sides shoving their tongues down each other’s throats, thick clouds of smoke hanging in the air as the stoners pass a bong around, and Sehun walking in with Chanyeol and Baekhyun to his right. Except, there’s no Luhan to his left this time, just an empty space that he wishes wasn’t there.
Jongdae greets them with a drunken, kitten like smile, slapping his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders because he’s too short to reach Sehun and Chanyeol’s shoulders, “Welcome to the best party of the year!”
“And Junmyeon approves of this?”
Jongdae purses his lips and hums at the mention of his live-in boyfriend, “Junmyeon has decided to stay the night with, as he put it, ‘more mature friends’. It’s okay, he’ll be back first thing in the morning bitching at me to clean up,”
It sounds unpleasant, but Jongdae smiles fondly anyway.
“Ah, Sehun,” Jongdae switches his attention over, “Jongin’s here somewhere.”
Sehun ignores how his chest feels funny and nods, hoping that his cheeks are not as red as they feel. Baekhyun lets out a ooooh and Sehun promptly elbows him in the ribs.
“He talks about you a lot,” Jongdae is still blabbing. “He says you’re really a -”
“Hyung, you’re drunk. Shut up,”
Jongin pushes playfully at Jongdae’s head, cackles nervously, and glances at Sehun. That’s when Sehun notices it. The smudged liner around Jongin’s eyes, smoked out under his lashes and all over his eyelids, making his gaze more intense and dangerous - more delicious. Sehun doesn’t realize he’s staring until Baekhyun’s annoying ass voice cuts his concentration off.
“Doesn’t Jongin look pretty, Sehun?” The implied fuckable in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed.
Jongin goes red and Sehun nods.
“Yeah, really, really, pretty,”
Looking up from the floor, Jongin smiles bashfully and shakes his head, “It’s just something Baekhyun-hyung taught me a while back. Apparently it makes me look older or something,”
“It makes you look fucking hot, Jongin,” Baekhyun corrects.
Sehun agrees. He really, really, really agrees.
The eyeliner isn’t the only thing making it hard for Sehun to keep himself from pushing Jongin against the nearest wall. His hair is styled messily, angling his face and looking soft to the touch, and his outfit - black jeans and a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal every inch of his arms - is almost pleading Sehun to rip it off.
“Shut up, hyung,” Jongin whines cutely.
“It does, doesn’t it Sehun?”
Baekhyun should be kicked across the room or locked away in a closet. Sehun blanches for a moment, mouth hanging open in what should be a response. He ends up settling for another nod because if the guys heard Sehun voice his agreement, they’d never let him live it down for sure. He’s already sure they won’t let him forget how bad he’s blushing.
“Wanna grab a drink with me?” Jongin asks and Sehun nods, relieved.
He follows Jongin through the tightly packed throng of people right over to the counter where Jongdae has a rather impressive selection of alcohol on display (most of Sehun can only assume is Junmyeon’s). All of it looks quite tasty, but Sehun settles for an ice cold beer and waits until Jongin has his in hand to open it.
The first trickle of it down his throat feels like heaven and he hums contentedly.
“So, who drug you out?” Sehun breaks the comfortable silence. Jongin looks over.
“Jongdae convinced me to come. He said I spend too many weekends cooped up in the dance room, so here I am. With bells on, as you can see,”
Sehun looks him up and down, laughing quietly, “Yeah, I can see that. Did you choose your own outfit or did twinkie over there have a say so in it?”
Jongin wets his lips, “He told me to dress a little edgier if I wanted to get yo-uh, if I wanted to shed my whole innocent appearance,”
Sehun raises his brow and eyes the pink dusting the apples of Jongin’s cheeks and how he’s shifting his weight from hip to hip like he always does when he’s nervous, but he figures it’s due to him being in an unfamiliar atmosphere. Jongin isn’t a party-going type of person, so Sehun overlooks his nervous demeanor and nods, "Parties aren’t exactly your thing huh?”
“They’re nice on occasion, but not something I particularly enjoy doing,”
Sehun laughs at how mature and uninterested Jongin sounds, like he’s already reaching his mid-thirties and is appalled at the idea of partying.
“At least you look hot. You’ve got boys and girls staring you down. I thinks it’s safe to say your whole innocent thing has been shredded,” Sehun mentions, gesturing around.
“I didn’t really come for that,” he admits lowly. His eyes dart around the room as he brings his bottle to his lips, sipping slowly. When he pulls the bottle away, a droplet of beer clings to his lower lip and Sehun wants to reach up and thumb it away.
Sehun isn’t sure what to make of these slight urges to take care of Jongin every time the opportunity pops up, doesn’t like how he’s not even trying to fight the urges off. Taking care of someone, even over the littlest things, is akin to feelings that don’t quite equal up to strictly fuck buddies. Hell, Sehun is sure that they’ve never truly been just fuck buddies because after that whole deal was made, the following days and weeks after, Sehun constantly finds himself wanting to be in Jongin’s company 24/7; like Jongin is magnetic and Sehun is a hopeless magnet that can’t help but be pulled in.
Glancing down at his beer, he begins to think that drinking might not be such a good idea anymore. It always makes him think too much, and then he realizes things that he doesn’t want to.
“Hey, you’re lookin’ mighty fine this evening,”
Sehun turns his head upon hearing the husky whisper, and what he finds is a sight that makes something coil in his gut. Something that he hasn’t felt in a long, long time.
Zitao is leaning too close to Jongin for Sehun’s liking, has his hands lingering at Jongin’s waist too close to Jongin’s ass and Sehun wants to slap his hand away and tell him to get lost. Jongin is frozen and blinking his eyes, red surfacing on his cheeks, and Sehun clenches his hand around his beer bottle.
One thing about Zitao that Sehun never liked was his arrogance. He’s constantly in the mindset that he can take whatever he wants just because he’s good-looking, and he knows that he can make anyone swoon with those eyes and that smile.
His blood feels like it’s boiling and he glares coldly at Zitao. Sehun knows exactly what it is that he’s feeling as much as he hates to admit it - hates to even realize it - and before he knows what he’s doing, he wraps his fingers around Jongin’s wrist and says, “Sorry, we were just leaving. C’mon Jongin.”
Jongin merely nods and allows Sehun to pull him through Jongdae’s apartment. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are wearing shit-eating grins when they pass by and Sehun glares at them, too.
They end up sitting at the reservoir. It’s quiet, save for the low roar of cars driving over the overpass just behind them, and it’s a bit chilly out, which is how Sehun finds himself slowly inching closer to Jongin for warmth.
“So,” Sehun begins, sniffing. “You never told me your story.”
“Huh?”
“Oh c’mon, who was the douche that broke your heart?”
Jongin smiles sadly and looks over at Sehun, “You sure you wanna hear this shit?”
Sehun nods, “Tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine,”
“That was a horrible joke,”
“Don’t be mean,”
Jongin pushes Sehun’s shoulder playfully and lowers himself back, tucking his hands behind his head with a small sigh of defeat, “Alright, so it’s like this.”
Sehun settles down beside Jongin, elbows bumping when Sehun tucks his hands behind his head while Jongin continues.
“I met him freshman year here. We hit it off instantly, lasted for a year, and then we split. He told me that he loved me, but he couldn’t be with me because he didn’t know how to be with someone without having to face a break up. He decided that it was best that we ended it before we got more serious because ‘the longer we’re together, the more it’s going to hurt’. It was the dumbest thing ever, but I guess deep down he had his reasons.” Then he shrugs, “It was always hard to get him to open up, so I’m still a little confused about our break up. I just know that it ended and it hurt like hell.”
When Sehun glances over, the only thing he can focus on is the sadness that settles into Jongin’s laugh lines. Jongin blinks and slowly looks over.
“But, you’re so positive about the idea of love still,” Sehun states.
“Yeah,” Jongin hums contentedly. “I don’t think that love should be ruled out over one heartbreak, you know? Heartbreak is going to happen a million times in your life in all kinds of ways, so why deprive yourself of loving another person even if it doesn’t last? At least then you could say that you loved them and that everything was great while it lasted.”
Jongin then turns his attention back to the sky, “What about you?”
Blowing out a breath, Sehun turns his attention back to the blanket of stars hanging above him. He hasn’t uttered a word about Luhan to anyone since the night he dumped him, and he can feel the leftover heartache creeping up on him again, something like regret and longing sitting uneasily in his stomach.
“We only lasted six months, but I was absolutely crazy about him. He was my first actual boyfriend, like the long-term type, so maybe I was a bit naive, but I loved him a lot,”
He sees Jongin shift out of the corner of his eye and he looks over, blinking his eyes in hopes that it’ll somehow mask the sadness he’s feeling.
“He’s heading back to China soon, and he wasn’t convinced that a long-distance relationship would last no matter how much I pleaded him.” Sehun looks away again.
“After that, I decided no more relationships. They’re too much hassle and the heartache isn’t worth it.”
It’s quiet for a moment, but Sehun can feel Jongin’s eyes burning holes through him, feels like Jongin is trying his hardest to figure him out. His heart rate spikes just a little and he isn’t sure why.
“C’mon, let’s go before we get sick out here.”
Jongin’s legs are wrapped tight around Sehun’s back, nails digging crescents into his shoulder blades and hot, breathy moans curling against the shell of Sehun’s ear.
“Sehun, I’m close, ah, faster please,” he mewls, hands trailing down Sehun’s sweat-slicked back to grab at Sehun’s ass.
Their bodies are pressed together so tight that Sehun doesn’t know if it’s his heart or Jongin’s that he feels hammering against his chest, but either way it’s scary because his chest feels tight and fuzzy, and the need to kiss Jongin over and over is overwhelming as he rolls his hips harder and faster and watches Jongin fall apart underneath him.
His lips part in a silent scream when he comes, and Sehun presses forward to lick into his mouth, curl his tongue against Jongin’s until they’re both dizzy with the need for oxygen. Sehun comes a moment later when Jongin sinks his teeth into Sehun’s lower lip, hips stuttering to a stop, his head finding a perfect resting place on Jongin’s chest.
Sehun wants to keep kissing Jongin, wants to lift his head and move the dampened hair away from Jongin’s forehead and place a kiss there, too, but he doesn’t. He stays still against Jongin’s chest and panics because of everything he’s feeling.
The jealousy that had burnt so hot in his gut when Zitao had came on to Jongin, the way his heart leaps into his throat every time Jongin smiles, the way that Sehun hates doing his homework because it cuts into time he could spend with Jongin, the way that wants to kiss every beautiful inch of Jongin, and the way that JonginJonginJongin is repeating over and over in his head.
He feels himself start to shake, but he finds comfort in the way that Jongin scrapes his nails over the nape of his neck. “Stay,” he says.
Stay.
Sehun can’t stay. Staying is a sign of commitment. Staying is a sign of something more than just being fuck buddies.
Staying is a definite sign of heartbreak.
“You look like shit,” Baekhyun bluntly points out.
“I feel like shit,” Sehun responds.
Sehun has felt like shit ever since he snuck out of Jongin’s apartment as soon as Jongin started softly snoring. He hasn’t talked to Jongin in 13 days (he’s pathetic enough to have kept count), and it’s certainly showing.
It was supposed to get easier, not make him feel like he was going through a break-up all over again. Jongin and him were never exclusive, yet here he is ready to dig into a gallon of ice cream and cry against Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s shoulders. It’s so stupid, he thinks. He can’t piece together when Jongin became more than a pretty face to him, missed how the lines were blurring between their sexual escapades and their casual late night texts and glances that they stole when the other wasn’t looking.
“You and Jongin have a spat?” Chanyeol asks, stuffing more burrito into his mouth. Baekhyun visibly elbows his boyfriend in the ribs and Chanyeol whimpers, nearly choking.
Sehun sighs dejectedly, “I haven’t spoken to him in almost two weeks,”
It hurts worse having to admit it out loud. He was hoping that if he just kept it to himself that maybe it would stop being true. Sadly, that’s not how it works.
“You miss him,”
Swallowing, Sehun nods. “It feels like losing Luhan all over again, except I don’t get to miss the cute boyfriend stuff because I never got to experience it anyway,”
He hates how pathetic he sounds.
“Talk to him.”
“Chanyeol, I can’t. He’s smart enough to know that I’m avoiding him. He probably hates me for fucking him one last time and then cutting him out,”
“Jongin could never hate you,”
Sehun eyes Chanyeol, “Why do you say that?”
“He likes you. A lot.”
“How do you know?”
Chanyeol sits his burrito down and looks up, “He told us. Why do you think we invited him to the club that night?”
Sehun’s eyes widen, “What?”
“I mean, we didn’t think you two would fuck, but we invited him because he’s liked you for a while. He never had the guts to talk to you, and after your break-up with Luhan me and Baek couldn’t stand to watch you continuously throw yourself at random men,”
Sehun realizes he isn’t the only hurting. Jongin had willingly dived right into a friends with benefits just to have a chance with Sehun, and now Sehun really feels like the scum of the Earth.
“So, there’s a chance he’ll forgive me?”
“I think it’s a definite possibility.”
It takes Sehun another 4 days to get the guts to show up at Jongin’s apartment. He’s shaking with nerves already, knees all wobbly as he knocks three times. There’s shuffling inside, murmured voices and laughter, and for a second Sehun worries that maybe Jongin has already moved on, but just as he goes to walk away, the door swings open to reveal a boy that looks bafflingly similar to Jongin.
“Uh,” Sehun stammers. “Is Jongin here?”
“Jonginnie, there’s a cute boy at the door for you!” He hollers, stepping aside to let Sehun in. “I’m Taemin, Jongin’s roommate and best friend extraordinaire.”
“Ah, nice to meet you. I’m Sehun, one of Jongin’s friends, I think.”
“Ohhh, so you’re Sehun,” Taemin wiggles his brows. “Jongin talks about you a l-”
“Taemin,” Jongin says warningly.
Taemin raises his hands and backs away, “Okay, okay. I’ll give you two some privacy.”
He grabs his coat from the coat rack by the door, turning with a suggestive lilt in his tone when he says, “Don’t get come stains on the couch and remember to use protection!”
Sehun inwardly flinches when Jongin sighs. The silence isn’t awkward, but it’s uncomfortable and heavy with regret on Sehun’s part.
“What brings you here?” Jongin sounds like he’s trying to cover up the fact that he’s hurt when he finally speaks.
“Can we talk?”
“About what?”
Sehun clears his throat and chews on the inside of his lip. He didn’t plan out what he was going to say before he got here, and now he’s not sure that he can bring himself to speak at all. Jongin is looking up at him expectantly, eyes scanning over Sehun’s face like he’s searching for answers.
It’s now or never.
“Baekhyun and Chanyeol told me why they invited you to the club that night,”
Jongin stares, jaw tight.
“That it was because you liked me and now I’m here to apologize for the dick move that I pulled,”
Jongin stays silent and Sehun sighs, “Look, I got scared when you told me to stay, alright? I wanted so badly to stay and realizing that was terrifying to me. I haven’t wanted someone to be a part of my life since Luhan- I haven’t even wanted to be with someone since Luhan and the fact that I want to be with you in more ways than just having the privilege to get in between your legs whenever I please made me run scared I guess.”
Sehun feels defeated and vulnerable. He’s never been good at expressing how he feels, but here he is standing bare and admitting stuff to Jongin that he didn’t even want to admit to himself for the longest time.
He looks up when Jongin stands, his heart thumping rapidly in his chest when Jongin walks closer. He has more to say because he’s been feeling like he’s been wanting to burst at the seams, but his courage dissipates the closer Jongin gets. Soft hands touch under his jaw and he can feel Jongin’s breath fanning across his face. His throat feels tight as his heart skyrockets and hammers away because Jongin is so close now that all he has to do is tilt his head up and close the space between them, but he can’t. He keeps mumbling instead.
“I don’t think sex is enough anymore,” he admits. Jongin’s thumbs run along his lower lip like he’s trying to feel what Sehun is saying. “I like you Jongin. So much, and it’s scary. The last time I felt like this I was left drunk and alone and confused.”
There’s a difference between liking Luhan and liking Jongin that scares Sehun. He liked Luhan months before they got together and it took him months to develop feelings that could be defined as love. It’s been maybe a month that him and Jongin have had this fling going on for and he’s already so caught up in Jongin that, if this does work out in his favor and Jongin forgives him for his stupidity, it’s going to hurt so much more if there comes a time where he has to deal with losing Jongin.
A beat of silence passes before Jongin speaks, voice low and deep, “I don’t think sex is enough anymore either. I didn’t think it was enough from the beginning,”
“I’m sorr-”
Jongin shakes his head and shuts him up with a kiss, thumbs rubbing circles on the apples of Sehun’s cheeks. Sehun melts into him easily, pulling at Jongin’s shirt to get him as close as he possibly can and even then it still wouldn’t be enough for Sehun. He’s always indulged too much in things he gets addicted to, like video games or banana milk, but Jongin is something that has the power to have Sehun craving him every second of the day.
Sehun outright whines childishly when Jongin pulls away. “No, don’t stop. It’s been two fucking weeks since I last kissed you.”
Jongin laughs, eyes bright and cheeks flushed, “We have to breathe eventually, Sehun,”
“No we don’t,”
Jongin kisses the tip of Sehun’s nose, grinning from ear to ear when Sehun goes red from head to toe. “Cute.”
Grumbling, Sehun swats Jongin’s finger away from his cheek, “You’re annoying, why do I like you?”
Jongin reminds Sehun just why he likes him later on that night and Sehun thinks he’s pretty damn happy with how everything turned out.
One | Two