#93 42 (Between) {2/2}
The call from his mum doesn’t come as a surprise but for the first time, Jongin feels slightly reluctant to answer the call.
His mother doesn’t launch into her question immediately, using questions about his day and things that happened at the studio as a buffer and Jongin is immensely grateful for that. It had been weeks, but Jongin had yet to figure out how to explain Sehun to his family. They don’t know about his bisexuality and even if they knew, they’ll still think that Sehun is too young and immature for their baby boy.
“So how did the matchmaking session go?” The unwanted question comes eventually and in contrast to his mum’s excitement at the other side of the phone, the stress weighs Jongin down inducing a minor headache.
“It was pretty good,” Jongin answers truthfully, trying his best to reduce the amount of lies he’ll have to tell his parents. He can already imagine all the stories he’ll have to cook up when he dates Sehun.
“So when are you bringing her back? The whole family is excited about it.” He is pretty sure that his mum is the only one excited about it since his sisters have mentioned in the passing that being single isn’t a bad idea. However, his mum is the head of the family and of course whatever his mum decides on becomes a family decision in the end.
“Mum,” Jongin slumps against the sofa in weariness, rubbing circles on his temple in hopes of subsidising his headache. “I’m actually busy right now. We’re choreographing for an idol group these days. I’ll go home next month and we can talk about this again?”
His mum lets him off at that and Jongin wishes that he can disappear before he has to go home next month.
Sehun on his own, is a very interesting person but Jongin thinks that he enjoys going out with Sehun so much because of the effort the other boy puts into planning their dates. Till now, the only place they’ve visited more than once is the bubble tea parlor and even then, Sehun tries to bring him to different stores as much as possible.
Eleven o’clock on Monday night finds them sitting along Han River, their bikes parked behind them without a care. The park is empty except for another couple seated at least 400m away giving them sufficient privacy and the light breeze is comfortable enough to send Jongin to sleep.
“I think my favorite character is Nadi,” Sehun declares out of nowhere.
“Nadi?” This name sounds familiar, but Jongin is unable to put a face to it with his sleep-clouded mind.
“Yeah, he reminds me of you.” Sehun peers up at Jongin and smiles bashfully, something that has became an uncommon occurrence after they got close, “Both of you can be taciturn and aloof at times, but you two are a real softie deep inside. And you’re really warm and nice to people you like, just like him.”
“I’m not aloof,” Jongin denies vehemently. Some of his friends had complained about his lack of participation during their conversations, or how cold his reactions are, but Jongin cares, just that he doesn’t feel the need to express it outwardly.
“Wait, did you just say Nadi?” Jongin belatedly realizes who Sehun had just compared him with.
Sehun nods and pulls a black N3DS out of his bag, “I got the game some time ago, and I finally know why you like it so much.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jongin mumbles, pulling the gaming console out of Sehun’s hands. He quickly switches on the game, peeking at Sehun from the side of his eyes as he waits for the reply.
“I just wanted to know you better. Isn’t there this super cheesy line about doing all that your crush had done, going to all the places your crush had gone to just to know them better?” Sehun’s voice is calm and relaxed, but out of the corner of his eyes, Jongin sees Sehun tapping his fingers on his legs - a telltale sign of his nervousness.
“Sehun -” Jongin knows that Sehun likes him; it is difficult to turn a blind eye to the affections of the boy who will wait for him near his dance studio so that they can grab a quick coffee at night, who will always initiate conversations and send jokes over KaTalk to cheer Jongin up on his bad days. But they had never talked about this, always skirting around it and quickly changing to another topic before anyone can ask or say anything that wouldn’t be reversible.
“Do you believe in fate?” Sehun cuts Jongin off before the older boy can voice out his feelings, “Isn’t it interesting to see where fate will bring you to? Without this website, the people whom I’ll meet will be people within my social circle, but now, I met you instead, someone whose life is worlds apart from mine.”
“We’re not that different,” Jongin mumbles.
“We are. You already have a career when I haven’t graduate. I can’t live without the Internet but you can spend your days being completely at ease even if you don’t have your phone. I like outdoor activities, but you like staying at home more. We have nothing in common except for dance.”
Sehun is right. They are completely different but that doesn’t change the fact that Sehun makes him ridiculously happy.
When he was younger, Soojung downloaded the entire Slam Dunk series even though she isn’t interested in mangas just to have another common topic with him. Yixing, whom he dated in university spent all his free time reading Korean proses despite his abysmal Korean just so he can impress Jongin who loves reading. It had been a long time since anyone had done something like this for him in years, and it makes him more touched than any gifts he had received. So what is Sehun is too young? So what if he isn’t the type his mum expects Jongin to bring home?
“Sehun,” Jongin asks all of a sudden, “Do you want to go see cherry blossoms together this weekend?” Sehun had always been the one initiating activities, and the surprise is palpable on Sehun’s face when Jongin suggested doing something together.
“Why so sudden?”
“I just want to put in more effort into our relationship,” Jongin says, moving closer to close the gap between him and Sehun.
“Relationship?” Sehun echoes.
“Yeah, do you want to date me? Like officially?” Jongin blushes uncharacteristically, the pink blossoming on his tan skin attractively.
Sehun doesn’t reply and Jongin is about to wonder if that’s his karma for being unresponsive for so long when Sehun slips a hand into his, “You’re lucky that I like you so much.”
Jongin squeezes the hand in his hold - Sehun’s hand is clammy and just like the rest of his body, it is a bit too bony for Jongin’s liking but Jongin hadn’t felt this happy for way too long, “Show me your progress in the game. I shall be benevolent and share some of my tips with you.”
Life with Sehun feels like binge eating on chicken. Jongin knows that it can’t be healthy to spend all his free time with his new boyfriend, but Sehun manages to surprise him everytime they talk and Jongin finds himself incredibly drawn to the younger boy.
“Stop texting your boyfriend,” Baekhyun forcibly confiscate Jongin’s phone, putting it under his thigh for good measure. “If I knew that you two were going to be so disgusting, I would had never encouraged you to go for it.”
Jongin knows that Baekhyun doesn’t mean it. Other than Chanyeol who is always trying to set him up with different people, Baekhyun is the one with the most interest in his love life, always ready to give him a little push when Jongin is doubtful of entering a relationship. “You’re just bitter that you’re single while I’m happily attached,” Jongin retorts childishly, sticking his tongue out uncharacteristically.
“Why will I be?” Baekhyun scoffs, rolling his eye at his friend.
“Jongin,” Baekhyun asks when they’ve finished their meal and is waiting for the bill, “Are you happy though?”
“I am,” Jongin nods, “He makes me so happy.”
“Like you’re the only thing that matters in this world?”
An unconscious smile spreads on Jongin’s face as he remembers the weird antics that his boyfriend is up to on a daily basis. On days when Jongin has dance practice, Sehun will wait at the cafe opposite patiently regardless of the weather and give Jongin a wave the minute he steps out of the studio. There’s also the good morning texts accompanied by weird selcas Sehun uses to brighten his mornings. Weekends are the best as Sehun will buy brunch over and proceed to drag Jongin out of bed making sure the older man doesn’t miss his meals due to his love for sleeping. And Jongin thinks he can live with all of these forever.
“Kim Jongin, look at you getting all sappy,” Baekhyun teases, pinching Jongin’s cheeks turning his smile into a grimace, “I thought that I will only see you being this mushy around your dog.”
“Sehun looks pretty similar to my poodles. He can be their new sibling, Segu. Or does Hungu sounds cuter?”
“You’re hopeless.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes again, and Jongin is pretty sure that he’ll receive a call from the hospital one day informing him that his best friend eyes has popped out of their sockets. “So his age doesn’t matter anymore?”
“Nope,” Jongin pushes the restaurant’s door open, the jingling of the bell brightening his mood even further, “I realized that it isn’t a bad thing after all. I thought that there’ll be issues, but the only problem now is that I go out and spend my hard-earned money.”
Much to Jongin’s dismay, Janggu, Monggu and Jangah ends up liking Sehun more than Jongin, running to the door immediately when they hear the doorbell and refusing to leave Sehun’s side the entire time he is in the apartment. Jongin insists that this is due to Sehun feeding his babies treats all the time, making them gain weight and Jongin ends up having to be the one to deprive them of their food but Sehun is shameless enough to claim that he gets so much love because of his looks. And now, they are all running between Sehun legs, paying no attention to their owner, again.
“Monggu, I’m going to lock you out of the bedroom tonight if you don’t come over immediately,” Jongin threatens, subtly hiding the hand filled with dog snacks behind his back. As much as Jongin wants to believe that his dogs love him enough to come to him whenever he calls, the allure of snacks is always greater, and Jongin could definitely use some extra help to boost his likability right now.
Instead of Monggu, Jangah is the one who runs over instead, jumping for Jongin’s hand excitedly with her short legs.
“Good girl,” Jongin immediately picks her up and feeds her a small piece of beef jerky, “I’m only feeding you because you’re such a good kid. Not like the other two,” Jongin scowls unhappily at Monggu and Janggu who are still trying to paw their way up Sehun’s pants for god-know-what reasons.
“Don’t be jealous,” Sehun bends down to scoop Janggu into his arms, “Your dogs have good taste, like you.”
“Or rather, we all have bad taste seeing how we like you,” Jongin retorts back immediately. Dating Sehun made him a lot wittier with his replies; all he has to do is remember some of the stuff Sehun uses as an insult and soon enough, he can throw it back at Sehun.
“Don’t you love me?” Sehun pouts and rubs his head against Jongin’s shoulder, just like a giant puppy.
“What do you think?” Jongin had thought about the l word a couple of times in the last few weeks. If they had been together for a year, or just a few more months even, Jongin will readily accept his feelings for Sehun and label it as love. However, they had only known each other for less than half a year and it had only been a month since they got together. At this stage, it is too easy to mistake infatuation as love.
“I think,” Sehun whispers, his hot breath tickling Jongin’s ears, making the older boy shudder in response, “I love you?”
Despite Sehun ending it as a question, to Jongin, it is undeniably a confession and his heart races both in exhilaration and fear - exhilaration because the person he might love loves him back, fear because he has no reply for that confession.
Jongin purposely grimaces, pretending to find Sehun’s confession gross and hurries to his couch to put some distance between him and Sehun.
“What should you say when someone say something nice to you?” Sehun probes, comfortably settling himself on Jongin’s lap and laces his hands behind the elder’s shoulder.
The distance that Jongin yearns for is destroyed in a matter of seconds, and the dance instructor’s face flushes at their close proximity. He had other female dances hanging of him during performances, but none of it feels as intimate as his boyfriend sitting on his lap. “Thank you?” Jongin tries lamely.
“You’re supposed to say I love you in return. I. Love. You.”
“How are you so sure of it? It had only been a little more than two months -” Jongin catches himself before he can continue.
“I don’t think time is a good way to measure love,” Sehun looks right into his eyes, and Jongin forces himself not to look away, “For some people, they need time to cultivate feelings, to see if their personalities match before they can fall in love with someone, but for some others, it’s an instinct. And for me, it’s the latter when it comes to you.”
Jongin’s cheeks heat up immediately. “Where did you learn these cheesy sayings from?”
“I thought of it myself,” Sehun boasts proudly, putting Jongin’s arms around his waist, “Surprised, aren’t you?”
“Not really,” Jongin says. Sehun had managed to change Jongin’s perception of him in the past few months - Sehun still says and does what he wants at will, but then he’s more mature with his thoughts than people will give him credit for.
Sehun smiles in satisfaction, “But, I have even more surprises in store.”
Jongin tightens his hold on Sehun, pulling his boyfriend closer, “I’ll look forward to it then.”
The moment is quickly broken by Jongin’s dogs who starts whining in unhappiness when they realize that Sehun is not giving them attention.
“Go,” Jongin sighs audibly, “Go take care of those horrible kids.”
‘’Don’t worry,” Sehun gives his cheeks a quick peck, “I still love you best,” before running after the dogs, starting a mini game of chase in Jongin’s tiny living room.
This might be love, Jongin thinks as his eyes train after his four kids closely, ensuring that they don’t bump into anything. He will be incredibly lonely if Sehun isn’t here.
Jongin tugs at the ends of his hair tentatively, wincing in pain as a sharp sting spreads across his scalp immediately. A few strands of dirty pink hair gets stuck between his fingers and Jongin regrets his decision for the thousandth time. He visited the hair dresser on impulse yesterday, dyeing his originally brown hair to a shade of pink so that he’ll fulfill Sehun’s bratty request of having matching hair. But pink doesn’t suit him at all, and he feels like withering under the curious glances commuters sent his way on the subway earlier this morning.
“Your hair,” His boyfriend exclaims once he catches sight of Jongin, “When did you do it?”
“Yesterday,” Jongin mumbles, pulling his hood even lower so that people won’t catch sight of his hair. With Sehun standing beside him, and their bright pink hair, they’re attracting way more attention than he would had liked.
“Don’t hide it,” Sehun pulls Jongin’s hood off, running a hand through his hair, “You look really good like this.”
In the end, Sehun managed to persuade Jongin to walk around without his hood pulled up even though he couldn’t be as confident as Sehun is with all the people staring at him.
“Don’t worry about them,” Sehun whispers reassuringly when he catches Jongin frowning at the group of highschoolers looking in their direction.
The crowd at cherry blossom festivals are always insane, hundreds of people heading to the same place at the same time, and Jongin and Sehun blends right into the crowd quickly, their unconventional hair color forgotten in the mass of people.
Since the invention of selca sticks, they became a necessity whenever a group of friends get together and Jongin has to constantly dodge to prevent himself from being hit by the evil contraception.
“Stop scowling,” Sehun rubs his palms on Jongin’s cheeks and pushes the corners of his mouth up, “You act like a bitter old man.”
Jongin sighs and inches closer to Sehun, carefully dodging the people who are trying to squeeze past him, “I just don’t like crowds.” Till today, he still prefers spending his weekends at home, hiding in the comfort of his house without having to worry about the immense amount of people he’ll have to face when he goes out.
“It’ll get better at the next street.” True enough, the crowd thins the deeper they explore and soon enough, Jongin can walk carefreely without people pushing against him.
“You look like a fairy,” Sehun comments, picking out the fallen petals from Jongin’s hair, “A cherry blossom fairy.”
“No.”
“Cherry blossom fairy,” Sehun decides to disregard his boyfriend’s opinion, whipping out his phone in replacement for the camera none of them have, “Say kimchi.”
Jongin dislikes the nickname and refuses to smile for the photo, choosing to pout and do all sort of funny faces sending Sehun into loud peals of laughter.
Sehun’s face brightens and a blush works its way up his cheeks with the excessive laughing and his hair camouflages against the cherry blossom petals perfectly. With the sun rays reflecting off his hair, Sehun is the one who looks like a cherry blossom fairy instead. Jongin’s cherry blossom fairy.
It becomes a habit for Sehun to come over every weekend, spending his afternoons lazing on Jongin’s couch as he flips through the tv channels. Sehun is the one who sent the television for repair, claiming that he couldn’t survive in a house without modern day entertainment and despite Jongin rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s exaggerated claims, he subtly agrees with it - he doesn’t mind getting to watch Pororo again.
Sehun is lying on the sofa comfortably, using Jongin’s lap as a pillow when the door beeps open and his parents appear at the hallway of his house. There’s less than 30 meters between the hallway and his sofa, and from his spot, Jongin can see the expression on his parents face changing, the initial smile replaced by angry frowns that line their faces. Sehun scrambles up instantly, nearly falling off the couch in the process and Jongin doesn’t think of helping his boyfriend up, paralyzed by the turn of events.
“Jongin,” His father sighs after a while and pinches the bridge of his nose, breaking the tense silence in the room, “We need to talk.
Will you mind giving us a moment?” He turns to address Sehun to which Sehun rapidly nods and proceeds to make himself scarce in Jongin’s room but not before giving his boyfriend a reassuring squeeze on his thighs.
Jongin leads his parents to the dining room, fingers trembling from nervousness as he prepares the tea. Hopefully, the tea will be able to calm his mother down.
“Who is he?” His mother asks without waiting for Jongin to set the cups down.
Jongin’s hands shake at that question, the hot tea scalding his hands as it spills out of the cup, “My boyfriend. I met him through the matchmaking site.”
Jongin’s mother blows up at that, her voice raising to a shout, “Why did they assign you a male partner? And why didn’t they rectify their mistake?”
“Mum,” Jongin takes a deep breath, tightening his grip on his mug. He worries about being disowned just like what happens in dramas, but he cannot be unfair to Sehun or himself, “It’s not a mistake. I put bisexual as my sexuality and that’s how I got assigned to a male partner.”
Jongin’s mother expression was always easy to read, but Jongin only had concern or smiles directed at him and seeing his mother so angry at him terrifies Jongin. “How long have you known?”
“Since university. I had a boyfriend then.” It is easier to lie and pretend that he only started liking guys recently, but Jongin’s instinct tell him that this will make things more difficult for him and Sehun.
“Kim Jongin -” His mother stands up in anger, but his father cuts in before she can say anything and Jongin is grateful for that. He is afraid of the words that will come out of his mother’s mouth.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” His father’s tone is kind but Jongin couldn’t bring himself to look at his parents’ eyes, afraid to see the disappointment in there.
“I’m just waiting for the right time,” Jongin mumbles.
“There’s never going to be a right time for this. You just have to tell us and we can work out a solution together.” His father explains patiently.
Jongin hangs his head in shame, tugging on his fingers nervously. He knows that his father is right. He had multiple opportunities to go home or he could had told his mum when she calls him, but he simply chose to pretend that this problem doesn’t exist.
“I’m sorry.”
“Jongin, we’re not angry about your choices. Yes, both your mother and I. We’re just disappointed that you didn’t tell us and choose to wait for us to find out about it. Can you imagine how that feels, not being trusted by your children?
We’ll support your decisions, just inform us about it earlier next time. Is that okay?”
From what Jongin can remember, his father has always been a patient and understanding man. He allowed Jongin to pursue dancing without asking any questions, he brought home two puppies when the three siblings requested for it and there are so much more and Jongin feels guilty for letting him down.
Jongin nods numbly. He wants a hug now, but he doesn’t think that he deserves it.
Sehun shuffles out of the room shortly after Jongin’s parents left, only daring to come out after the loud slam of the front door.
“Should I leave?” The younger boy looks at Jongin unsurely, holding his bag which is filled to the brim with the amount of stuff he had been leaving at Jongin’s place.
Jongin slumps against the sofa, hiding his face behind his hands. Too much has happened today and he doesn’t need to see Sehun leave in addition to all those, “Do you want to?”
Sehun mutters a quick “no”.
“Give me a hug.” Jongin spreads his arms open and gives Sehun a weary smile.
Without putting his bags down, Sehun jumps into Jongin’s lap, crushing the older boy under his weight.
“Stop eating so much,” Jongin nuzzles against Sehun’s shoulder, “Or my bones will break one day.”
Jongin is tired and overwhelmed but with Sehun by his side, it feels like everything will get better.
“What should we do about your mum?”
“Let’s elope,” Jongin suggests, eyes burning with something akin to madness, “If we leave tonight, no one can find us.”
“Are you out of your mind?” Sehun chides, hitting his boyfriend on the head, “What can we do there? And your mum will never forgive me after that.”
“I can teach kids how to dance and maybe, you can be a farmer.”
“I don’t want to be a farmer,” Sehun whines in protest, “I’ll offer dancing lessons instead and you can be the farmer.”
“Okay, I can farm instead. It was my dream job,” Jongin agrees readily, and pushes Pinku Pinku into Sehun’s arms, “Now let’s go pack before it’s too late.”
“Wait, Jongin,” Sehun pulls on the sleeve of his boyfriend, “Are you serious? Wouldn’t be talking to your mum a better idea?”
“Nope. We need to do what youngsters and kdramas do. It’s the only way I can feel young,” Jongin says, a telltale grin creeping onto his face.
“Kim. Jong. In.” Sehun explodes, hitting the older dancer repeatedly on his back, “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”
Jongin shrugs, pulling Sehun down to sit on the sofa, “You had been worrying about this for the past few days. I just wanted to lighten the mood.” He shifts the two of them slightly so that Sehun is comfortably nestled in his embrace as he strokes the younger’s thighs comfortingly. “Don’t worry about her, she’s just upset that I kept it from her for so long.”
“I hate you,” Sehun grumbles, but his arms come to circle around Jongin’s waist.
“I love you too,” Jongin mumbles indulgently, pressing a soft kiss on the crown of Sehun’s head. “By the way, mum invites you to come over for dinner next weekend.”
Epilogue
The bathroom sink is stained green when Jongin gets back from work and boxes of used hair dye are scattered on the floor acting as a walking hazard. Ever since Sehun officially moved in a few months ago, a messy and colorful bathroom had become a common occurrence.
“Sehun, what are you doing again?” Jongin asks exasperatedly, picking up the boxes from the floor before water can seep through them and create a gooey mess of pulp.
“Dyeing my hair,” Sehun’s voice is muffled over the sound of the shower running, and Jongin shakes his head in acceptance, retreating back to his room for the newest dye result.
Jongin thought that nothing could faze him anymore after the Chucky Red Sehun tried last month, but apparently, he is wrong as there are always wilder colors that Sehun can explore, and subsequently make a mess out of his hair.
“You look like a vegetable,” Jongin comments, looking up from his laptop when Sehun steps out of the bathroom, “A broccoli to be exact.”
“Right,” Sehun deadpans, “Am I the most good-looking broccoli you’ve ever seen?”
“Come here,” Jongin pats the spot beside him on the couch, and sets his laptop aside, “We have to do something about your addiction to dyeing your hair. Why don’t universities have restrictions when it comes to hair color?”
Sehun pouts, more of a habit rather than being upset and plants himself onto the sofa, dangling his legs over Jongin’s thigh, “It’s fun though and you won’t get to do it when you start work.”
“It’s not like you’re going to be working in a large corporate,” Jongin runs his hands through his boyfriend’s freshly dyed hair, massaging the scalp at random intervals hoping that it will alleviate the pain Sehun always feels after bleaching, “Let your hair rest for a bit if not you’ll be bald faster than you know it.”
“Will you still love me when I’m bald?” Sehun asks.
“Yeah. What about you?”
“I won’t. After all, I only like you for your looks.” Sehun jumps down the sofa immediately after replying, running for their bedroom before Jongin can react.
“Oh Sehun,” The older man gives chase once he realizes what his boyfriend said, “You heartless brat. Open the door this instant.”
Sehun’s self-satisfied laughter passes through the wooden door, and Jongin slumps against the bedroom door, waiting for his boyfriend to open the door so that he can execute his revenge by tickling Sehun to tears.
The house smells strongly of ammonia and Jongin probably has to throw a couple more towels that had been stained green away. But right now, with Sehun in the room next to him laughing his ridiculously weird laughter, there’s nowhere else Jongin wants to be at.
One | Two
Final note: The pronunciation for Between in Korean is the same as 42 which is why the matchmaking app is called 42. Inspiration for the name came from the couple app Between.