(no subject)
I hate being all emo......it's not me........AT ALL!!!!!!!! I'm not like that, I'm supposed to be happy, I have everything I need, and alot of what I want.....I got into college......I have a future.....and a prom dress which is totally cool by the way lol............and Kate's here!!!!!! well, until tomorrow.....but right now I just want to cry........I don't really know why.....well, yes I do...... I feel really stupid.....and the reason I feel REALLY stupid is........well, ok here's the story.....last night my mom and Kate and I went to see an Easter Cantata at our Elementary Principal's church....he invited us and we thought it would be cool to go and see it....so we did........well this also happens to be the church that a friend of mine attends.....a friend whom I have yet to actually meet........and I was like you know it would be cool if he showed up, but I still want to go if he's not....I wasn't going just to meet him I honestly wanted to go to the cantata because I like things like that..........well, so after the whole thing is over, I went outside to get my senior portrait proofs from the lady that took them last week, and she was all I'm sorry he couldn't make it and I'm like it's fine I knew he wasn't going to.....so then like three more people came up to me and said the same thing and I'm just kinda thinking oh my gosh do you people think I'm seriously this desperate.......do you really think that I would come to this thing just to meet this guy??? and my mom swears up and down that it wasn't like that....but that's how I felt........I hate feeling like people are trying to fix me up........it drives me insane!!!! I don't want a boyfriend........I'm not looking for that......I've been there, done that, don't ever want to have to go through it again......when I went out with Devon, I had a life and my life didn't revolve around him and he got majorly clingy and I was soooo totally not down with that so I broke it off..... I don't want a boyfriend especially if he's not gonna have a life and expect me to give up my life to be with him ALL the time......I don't get down like that lol.......but anyway.........it just seemed like everyone thought that I was only there to see him and that is soooooooo not the case......I mean yeah it would have been cool to meet him but that was just a side thing lol........ok I'm done venting and I am now off to finish my senior project paper......ugh............