(no subject)
I know words can't solve everything, but this should help me. I need to get all my thoughts out.
Its the year 2006 now. When I was younger, 2007 seemed so far away and now I have only 1 year left. How can the things I used to dream of suddenly seem like a nightmare. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but when I was litte I couldn't wait to get out of school and never come back and now I'd do anything to go back, because I don't ever want this to be over. I can't imagine my life out of this place. I have over a year and I'm already freaking out. Every year you see people leave off to college that aren't ready and soon that'll be me. Ahh.. I just don't know if I can take it.
Number 1 reason. There are a whole lot of people that I would love to become friends with again before we go. This is my pathetic plea to get back the people I've lost. The one person that I'm hurt the most that I have lost is Mario. I know. I have a boyfriend and I love him more than anything, but the way I feel about Mario will never change. Ha.. NO. What I mean is.. he was my best friend. Whenever anything went wrong I would call him and even if things didn't go wrong. I told him everything and he knew everything about me. Things never went beyond friendship and I was so glad they didn't because I didn't ever want to lose that friendship with him. Well, I've lost it and things will never be the way they used to be. We talk online, but it just feels awkward.. like we never really knew each other. It just blows my mind that someone so important can just be swept out of my life and it wasn't because I had no choice. I allowed it to happen and I'm the stupidest girl alive.
He's not the only person. I miss having friendship with a lot of other people and I'm being so stupid for not fighting to keep these friendships alive.
Let me be emo. I seriously have no one to go to anymore, because I lost half of my friends. Ugh. I miss everyone.