Nothing left within my lonely room without you
Lighting up a cigarette I stood outside Giles' apartment for a little while wonderin' if Wes was gonna ever come outta there. Was too pissed off to stay inside but I thought...I dunno, just figured Wes would be mad too, ya know? B and the gang never bothered to tell either one of us that these guys were just millin' around waitin' to take a stab at every slayer and watcher that came along. Maybe they thought me and Wes didn't count anymore because we were the black sheep. Sure didn't stop the eyeless wonders from almost stabbing me to death. And the First Evil? Could that be a lamer supervillain? I mean serious. First off you got the name The First Evil, not exactly striking terror into my heart. Then it's big fancy trick is walkin' around like dead people, never able to touch anything. How the hell did it expect to win anything if it couldn't fight? All it could do was haunt me and make me crazy. 'Cept I wasn't crazy and I knew I was seein' things the whole time, something was messin' with me. But I could see that look in Wesley's eye, he really thought I was goin' nuts again for a minute there.
"Fuck this." I muttered and started walking away from Giles' door and out beneath the street lamps again. I was free, I was relatively healthy and lookin' for some action. Didn't need to spend any more time locked away in that motel room and if Wes wanted to pal around with the guy who was keepin' secrets from us? That was his deal, not mine. Who could blame the guy? At least Giles hadn't punched Wes in the teeth and told him to get the hell outta town.
"What do you think he's still doing in there anyway?" Angel asked as he suddenly popped up beside me. Just me and Angel walkin' through the darkened streets of Sunnydale, but if anyone else saw us it'd look like I was walkin' alone and talkin' to myself. The First Evil. It couldn't even look like itself.
"Don't really care, and stop pretending- I know what you are now." I said nonchalantly, the glow from my cigarette casting moody shadows across my shirt as I kept walking. I didn't even know where I was going, except...somewhere it felt like I knew exactly where I was goin'.
"I know you do, but seriously Faith. Just because they tell you I'm the one out to get you doesn't mean they're right. They've lied to you before, Giles didn't even bother to tell you about the Bringers. Can you really trust anything they've said to you?"
"Blah blah blah. Wes stole your kid. Yeah, I know. Find a new catch phrase already." I flicked my cigarette right through his form and raised an eyebrow as if to prove my point.
He sighed needlessly as I turned away from him and kept walking. I had a very specific destination, I knew that already. I just had to make it there and find what I was supposed to find. I felt it, ya know? The pull of it on my skin as I got closer and closer to it. It smelled like burnt ash, smelled like death.
"You still know what you have to do. You have to find it. I can take you there."
I stopped short and looked up at him for a long hard minute. "Okay." I agreed letting him take the lead, because we both knew that I would have to find it eventually. Then it was just the two of us again, walking towards Sunnydale High School. The mouth of hell.
I followed Angel down the steps, my boots finally echoing on the concrete floor as I looked around the darkened basement of Sunnydale High School. What was I doing down here anyway? Oh right, I had things to do, Angel told me I had things to do. Even though it wasn't really Angel, Giles would tell me it wasn't, Wesley would tell me it wasn't. I had to find it, Angel told me it was down here. Quietly I walked through the darkened basement searching for the thing that I knew was down here. The seal.
"Do you know where it is?" I asked, tilting my chin to look up at Angel again- but he was gone.
"Tap, tap, tap, said the birdy ..." I narrowed my eyes as a low muttered voice drifted towards me. Who was that? Why did it sound so familiar? "You're not her ... save the girl, kill the girl." Tried to make out a form in the darkness but the voice was coming from one of the darkened corners. Slowly I began to walk towards the sound.
I stopped suddenly when a familiar figure emerged from the shadows and walked out behind a stack of crates.
"Look at you, all shine and light, yet dirty as the bottom of my boot, you are," He glared down at me.
Spike. William the Bloody. What the fuck was he talkin' about? "Umm. What?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow as I made sure to keep my distance. This what happens when you shove a chip in a vamp and neuter him? He goes all kinds of crazy? "What are you doin' down here?" Was he talking to me? Maybe he saw them too.
"Questions floatin' all around here -- no answers, never any answers," He said to me before turnin' his back to me and lookin' around. "Doin' down here? What's to do, what's to see, see everything," He whispered as he turned around and brought his hand up, pointin' at his temple.
"See everything?" I took a tentative step closer to him. Is this what was gonna happen to me if I kept listening to the voices? Would I be like Spike? Hangin' out in the basement of a school and talkin' to invisible people? Hell, I was already doin' that, just in my motel room across town. "What do you see? Who was here?" I took another cautious step and another.
"Everything ... everyone," He said quietly before taking a step back and rippin' his shirt down the middle. My lips fell open in shock. Long jagged scars etched across the flesh over his heart. What had he done? This was what was gonna happen to me? And suddenly the First Evil suddenly took on a horrific meaning to me, despite my earlier decision that it was a wicked lame supervillain. He tried to cut out his own heart. Was I next?
"Can't get it out, won't come out and they're all around, everyone, tellin' me everything and ... " Spike trailed off, lookin' at me with a maniacal grin on his face. "You're here. That's who's here, why are you down here, girl? Not supposed to be, never allowed, only she is."
"I see them too." I said after a minute. "It's not real, they're just ghosts. The First Evil."
Lettin' out a bitter laugh, he took a few steps back, bumpin' into some crates before he finally stopped and looked up at me. "Not real ... not real. All around, don't you get it? Can't escape, they'll keep comin' ... always," He muttered and stood up straight, holdin' onto his head. "Not ghosts, not ghosts, real, all over ... LEAVE!" He finally screamed and pushed himself back behind a crate, sittin' himself down and bringin' his knee's up to his marred chest.
That was all it took, his voice jarring me all the way to my core as I turned on my heels and made a mad dash for the stairs that I'd wandered down behind Angel. I didn't see Angel, I didn't see anything except Spike's torn flesh. Where he'd tried to cut his own heart out as I fled across the front yard of the school, across town until I reached the hotel again.
"Fuck this." I muttered and started walking away from Giles' door and out beneath the street lamps again. I was free, I was relatively healthy and lookin' for some action. Didn't need to spend any more time locked away in that motel room and if Wes wanted to pal around with the guy who was keepin' secrets from us? That was his deal, not mine. Who could blame the guy? At least Giles hadn't punched Wes in the teeth and told him to get the hell outta town.
"What do you think he's still doing in there anyway?" Angel asked as he suddenly popped up beside me. Just me and Angel walkin' through the darkened streets of Sunnydale, but if anyone else saw us it'd look like I was walkin' alone and talkin' to myself. The First Evil. It couldn't even look like itself.
"Don't really care, and stop pretending- I know what you are now." I said nonchalantly, the glow from my cigarette casting moody shadows across my shirt as I kept walking. I didn't even know where I was going, except...somewhere it felt like I knew exactly where I was goin'.
"I know you do, but seriously Faith. Just because they tell you I'm the one out to get you doesn't mean they're right. They've lied to you before, Giles didn't even bother to tell you about the Bringers. Can you really trust anything they've said to you?"
"Blah blah blah. Wes stole your kid. Yeah, I know. Find a new catch phrase already." I flicked my cigarette right through his form and raised an eyebrow as if to prove my point.
He sighed needlessly as I turned away from him and kept walking. I had a very specific destination, I knew that already. I just had to make it there and find what I was supposed to find. I felt it, ya know? The pull of it on my skin as I got closer and closer to it. It smelled like burnt ash, smelled like death.
"You still know what you have to do. You have to find it. I can take you there."
I stopped short and looked up at him for a long hard minute. "Okay." I agreed letting him take the lead, because we both knew that I would have to find it eventually. Then it was just the two of us again, walking towards Sunnydale High School. The mouth of hell.
I followed Angel down the steps, my boots finally echoing on the concrete floor as I looked around the darkened basement of Sunnydale High School. What was I doing down here anyway? Oh right, I had things to do, Angel told me I had things to do. Even though it wasn't really Angel, Giles would tell me it wasn't, Wesley would tell me it wasn't. I had to find it, Angel told me it was down here. Quietly I walked through the darkened basement searching for the thing that I knew was down here. The seal.
"Do you know where it is?" I asked, tilting my chin to look up at Angel again- but he was gone.
"Tap, tap, tap, said the birdy ..." I narrowed my eyes as a low muttered voice drifted towards me. Who was that? Why did it sound so familiar? "You're not her ... save the girl, kill the girl." Tried to make out a form in the darkness but the voice was coming from one of the darkened corners. Slowly I began to walk towards the sound.
I stopped suddenly when a familiar figure emerged from the shadows and walked out behind a stack of crates.
"Look at you, all shine and light, yet dirty as the bottom of my boot, you are," He glared down at me.
Spike. William the Bloody. What the fuck was he talkin' about? "Umm. What?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow as I made sure to keep my distance. This what happens when you shove a chip in a vamp and neuter him? He goes all kinds of crazy? "What are you doin' down here?" Was he talking to me? Maybe he saw them too.
"Questions floatin' all around here -- no answers, never any answers," He said to me before turnin' his back to me and lookin' around. "Doin' down here? What's to do, what's to see, see everything," He whispered as he turned around and brought his hand up, pointin' at his temple.
"See everything?" I took a tentative step closer to him. Is this what was gonna happen to me if I kept listening to the voices? Would I be like Spike? Hangin' out in the basement of a school and talkin' to invisible people? Hell, I was already doin' that, just in my motel room across town. "What do you see? Who was here?" I took another cautious step and another.
"Everything ... everyone," He said quietly before taking a step back and rippin' his shirt down the middle. My lips fell open in shock. Long jagged scars etched across the flesh over his heart. What had he done? This was what was gonna happen to me? And suddenly the First Evil suddenly took on a horrific meaning to me, despite my earlier decision that it was a wicked lame supervillain. He tried to cut out his own heart. Was I next?
"Can't get it out, won't come out and they're all around, everyone, tellin' me everything and ... " Spike trailed off, lookin' at me with a maniacal grin on his face. "You're here. That's who's here, why are you down here, girl? Not supposed to be, never allowed, only she is."
"I see them too." I said after a minute. "It's not real, they're just ghosts. The First Evil."
Lettin' out a bitter laugh, he took a few steps back, bumpin' into some crates before he finally stopped and looked up at me. "Not real ... not real. All around, don't you get it? Can't escape, they'll keep comin' ... always," He muttered and stood up straight, holdin' onto his head. "Not ghosts, not ghosts, real, all over ... LEAVE!" He finally screamed and pushed himself back behind a crate, sittin' himself down and bringin' his knee's up to his marred chest.
That was all it took, his voice jarring me all the way to my core as I turned on my heels and made a mad dash for the stairs that I'd wandered down behind Angel. I didn't see Angel, I didn't see anything except Spike's torn flesh. Where he'd tried to cut his own heart out as I fled across the front yard of the school, across town until I reached the hotel again.