Hyung's favorite
Title: Hyung's Favorite
Pairing: None
Genre: General, AU
Word Count: 1,464
It was roughly an hour before he was supposed to be there, not because he was planning to be lazy (because mind you, he’s already lazy enough) that he entertained the thought of coming in late to pick them up like he does at the usual time. But for some reason, today was different. He felt compelled to go in the building where kids run and play and scream and learn. What an odd mishmash of things, he thought… That a kid can actually learn with all the noise and chaos going about.
Kris, at some point in his life spent a childhood much like this, though he hated it, or so he says. He claims his childhood to be not one of the happiest. Maybe because as a kid, he was already emo, to which he stands against with a waving fist.
3:30. He glanced at his watch and realized that thirty minutes had already flew by and slapped him in the face while he was busy brooding and reminiscing being a grouchy juvenile with violent tendencies towards anyone who dares to touch his things (He would occasionally slap his classmates to submission if the need calls for it). Good times, Kris thought.
As he spun towards the next series of turns, he reached the room of his younger brothers. His terribly annoying brothers.
Obnoxious. Obnoxious. Obnoxious.
These two were probably the spawn of evil, much like he was when he was a kid, but on a lesser scale since he didn’t burn a year’s supply of toilet paper, nor did he murder a stuffed animal and performed a gene splicing session on it with an eggbeater.
“Ohaaaaaaiiii hyung~” The younger two said in unison… and with the same annoying pitch. The twins had, for a fact, evil minds, but when it comes to their Kris hyung and his perpetual, eternally staple, permanent scowl, the evil retreats and backs away… well, at least for a little while.
“Alright you first class arsonists, who did you set fire to now?” He said dubiously.
Sehun looked at Luhan and blinked. “No, we didn’t thet fire to anyone today!”
“Nope! Definitely no one!”
“Thpecially not that Choi kid’th hair no!”
“Specially not the Choi kid!” Luhan imitated as he shook his head furiously and looked back at Sehun. “Are you sure we didn’t set fire to the Choi kid?”
“Of courthe! Cauthe we thet fire to that Lee kid bethide me.” Sehun responded, having a hard time talking in a string of words that involved a lot of S’s. “Her hair wath annoying. Like a dead porcupine.”
Luhan looked up at his gigantic Kris hyung with his wonderful puppy eyes. “HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN A DEAD PORCUPINE. WITH SPIKES AND STUFF… AND IT’S DEAD. SO IT STINKS.”
“She thmellth like hotdog water…”
“Alright, enough… I’ll make sure Umma hears about this when we get home. You know better than to do those things…. Even if she does look like a dea--- Know what? Next time just tell your teacher to call a stylist for her.” Kris scolded firmly before a sequence of playful banters about what the twins’ classmate smelled like and the two nodded. “Come on, we… I mean I have a lot to do.”
Another maze-like series of turns. It was a big school after all… and it was a private one. How come he never had the privilege to study in a private school. It really was hard having a lot of siblings younger than you and he makes them pull locks after locks of hair from his precious, precious head everyday.
The three didn’t need to take another step when out of the next corner, Jongdae, or Chenchen as they fondly call him for some insane, unidentified reason with a short little baozi holding onto his arm and eating melon bread appeared right before them. Xiumin was the fourth and Jongdae was the third child after their Suho hyung who immediately came after Kris.
Big family they got huh?
Well, Kris found it unfair that Suho was in charge of taking only Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Tao while he got stuck with the….
Kris turned to his band of brothers smirking evilly at him.
He cringed.
“Okay, let’s just wait for Suho here and we’ll go home after.” He drew his phone from his backpocket, at awe at how it didn’t actually get crushed by his enormous backside. He won’t ever admit this to anyone though.
A few seconds of tapping on the buttons and Suho was instantly in sight, along with a bouncing panda kid with a meter stick and a panda hat.
“I AM SAILOR TAO… AND I WILL PROTECT THE UNIVERSE FROM ALL THINGS EBIL! LIKE A MAN!” a resounding whack came as he accidentally hit Jongdae with it on the head as they approached.
“Oww! Be careful with that thing! Biological weapons of mass destruction like you shouldn’t be given any potential tools for murder… and that includes any inanimate object.” Jongdae pushed his glasses up and grabbed the meter stick that Tao presumably called Soul Destroyer.
The meter stick was pink… with hearts… and butterflies…
And Nyan cat, because Suho stuck it there to at least make it a bit manlier. Or not.
Kyungsoo blinked. And blinked. And blinked.
“Are we going home now or….”
“Yes, we’re going home now.” Suho answered, ruffling the other’s hair.
“Ahh.” Kyungsoo responded and he turned his inconspicuously deer-in-headlights look towards Kris, to which the older responded the same. “Hyung, why is water wet?”
“Because----.”
“Why is money not for sale? If I had a dollar for every two cents you gave me how much would I have? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck would?”
“Kyun----.”
“And whyyyyyy do I hear you mumbling that I have no brain in your sleep?”
Kris coughs and glances briefly at Suho. They need to keep the secret that Kyungsoo was… slow. That, or keep the whole world from knowing that he’s their brother.
Either way, he’d get smarter eventually.
“You will know all in due time, my young apprentice.” Suho said, stroking his imaginary beard and Kyungsoo was bowing in a matter of minutes.
“YES! MASTER YODA!”
“Good call.” Kris said with a lop-sided smile, and looked around.
Someone was missing.
“Where’s Chanyeollie?” he scanned the area again for their youngest, ignoring the fact that..
One, Luhan already had Sehun in a suplex. Two, Xiumin was poking his nose inside Kris’ pockets looking for food. Three, Tao was singing “TROLOLOLOLOLOLOOOOO~” while running around in circles and lastly, Jongdae complaining about why the theory of RELATIVITY had brought him to obtain such a family… and the little Xiumin thinks to himself…
‘Jongdae hyung isn’t really very smart’ and he affirms this with a silent nod… followed by a not so silent chewing of a bar of Snickers he found in his hyung’s pockets.
“I thought we’d go and get him together.” Suho said considerately, smiling his infamous gentleman smile… Yeah, evil runs in the family, but so does good looks.
Kris sighed in relief and patted Suho’s back. “Let’s go get him before anyone else does.” He chuckled at this, signaling the others to follow him to the kindergarten section of the school.
And there he found little Chanyeol inside the room, sitting on the carpeted floor and hugging his oversized stuffed giraffe that Kris gave him for his 3rd birthday.
“Ayoooooo~ Waddupppp Kreaseeeee…. Hyung!” He said in that adorable tone that everyone loves.
Kris smiled. “Ayoooo waddup~”
And once again, it took the combined efforts of Kris and Suho to not let their baby brother get trampled and squished to death by their other siblings… and when the commotion eventually died, Chanyeol was still in a giggling fit, Kris picked him up and carried him.
“See! I didn’t forget to call you hyung now!” he grinned, his naturally big brown eyes sparkling in delight.
“Oh? Well I think that deserves a prize.” Kris said, pecking the other’s forehead.
Chanyeol squished his chubby cheeks and made a sound akin to a squeaky toy-vacuum cleaner hybrid. Suffice to say, he couldn’t get any cuter.
“I love you, hyung!~” he cuddled against the older’s chest.
And once again, he was reminded of how he usually puts up with all the chaos everyday.
“Hyung loves you too~”
“GATHP! I WANNA BE KRITH HYUNG’TH FAVORITE!”
“NOOOOO! MEEEEE!”
“That is so unfaaaaaiiiiirr, he gets to be carried home.”
“CAN I GET TO BE WONDER TAO AND BE KRIS HYUNG’S FAVORITE?”
“Do you have skittles, Suho- hyung?”
“Only if you agree to become my favorite.”
“DEAL!”
They were all brought to silence when little Kyungsoo broke out into an impromptu composed song.
“I LOST MAAAAAHHH MINDDDD~”
A/N: I messed with the ages as you can see. XD Just for fun. Came out of nowhere. EBIL > EVIL jsyk LOL