Happy Birthday, My Love
Yesterday was your birthday, you turned 20. I waited for this day for many months... to hug you, to kiss you... on your birthday. But, yesterday came and went, and I didn't see you. Your cousin tried to make the tears stop falling, but he didn't succeed. You were with her last night, and she didn't try to stop you from drinking. It scares me that no one cares enough to stop you...
I wanted to show you that kind of love. I had big plans for your birthday, I really did. I'm sorry that it turned out this way, but who can we blame? Them, for talking about us and trying to cause trouble between us? You, for not loving me when I needed you to? Or, we could all blame me... that's always easier. I was stupid to fall in love with you, I remind myself of this everyday. When I close my eyes to go to sleep at night... I hear your voice. It haunts me when I think of you. And when I think of you, I see your eyes... one look into your eyes takes me away to somewhere I've only dreamt of going to.
It's been a while since we've spoken to each other... and that's a time I don't want to remember. You get so angry at me when I show that I care about you. It's hard for me, but I'm nice to her... I listen to stories about what ya'll do... how ya'll plan to get married. I smile at her, trying not to show the pain that's crying out from my soul.
I've always told myself that being friends with you isn't good enough... but it WAS good enough. I miss you so much, I can't stand it. I work all day and then go to school. I come home just to be alone, and sometimes I find myself thinking of how proud you'd be of me. I've changed and grown up so much since we've met. I've seen you have girlfriend after girlfriend. You always came to me when they hurt you... but now you're happy with her, so you don't need me anymore.
I know you'll never read this, because I will never give you this letter. I've exposed my whole soul to you, and you've looked away one too many times. I am writing to help the pain go away... I am writing to remind myself of the love I have for you. Undying love.
I wanted to show you that kind of love. I had big plans for your birthday, I really did. I'm sorry that it turned out this way, but who can we blame? Them, for talking about us and trying to cause trouble between us? You, for not loving me when I needed you to? Or, we could all blame me... that's always easier. I was stupid to fall in love with you, I remind myself of this everyday. When I close my eyes to go to sleep at night... I hear your voice. It haunts me when I think of you. And when I think of you, I see your eyes... one look into your eyes takes me away to somewhere I've only dreamt of going to.
It's been a while since we've spoken to each other... and that's a time I don't want to remember. You get so angry at me when I show that I care about you. It's hard for me, but I'm nice to her... I listen to stories about what ya'll do... how ya'll plan to get married. I smile at her, trying not to show the pain that's crying out from my soul.
I've always told myself that being friends with you isn't good enough... but it WAS good enough. I miss you so much, I can't stand it. I work all day and then go to school. I come home just to be alone, and sometimes I find myself thinking of how proud you'd be of me. I've changed and grown up so much since we've met. I've seen you have girlfriend after girlfriend. You always came to me when they hurt you... but now you're happy with her, so you don't need me anymore.
I know you'll never read this, because I will never give you this letter. I've exposed my whole soul to you, and you've looked away one too many times. I am writing to help the pain go away... I am writing to remind myself of the love I have for you. Undying love.