The only difference between lover and loser is a letter and a kiss.
And I got my kiss.
Honestly, I was in a really dark place for a little while there. I was in this mindset that I was useless, and it seemed like everybody was confirming that for me.
When people ask you what you're doing with your life, and you have nothing to tell them, it hurts.
Yeah.. Im going to school. But, the way I see it is "Community college, big fucking deal."
I was putting myself down over and over again because I felt like this point in my life isnt good enough for anybody.
But, then I realized that, its good enough for me, and it's my life so why the fuck does it matter?
Im doing the best I can for myself right now.
I left everything I knew behind to come here to help out family that I cant even stand, and nobodys helping me.
Every single thing I have I earned.
I pay for school by myself.
With the exception of like $400 my dad gave me I came up with the rest of my money on my own.
A lot of times I feel like nobodys listening to me.. I feel like nobody can relate to me.
But, its then that I realize we're all on our own.
You cant depend on anybody but yourself, and thats upsetting.
At any rate...
I went to Jeffs house last night. We watched a movie in the basement because he has neurosis when it comes to his bedroom.
We went outside for a walk and when we came back I felt like a popsicle.
Sooo, he made hot coco and we sat by the fire and talked.
And I love when we talk to each other about things that actually matter, because it reminds me that not only is he the boy that Im in love with, but hes my best friend too.
Not only do I love him, but I think its awesome that his family welcomes me the way they do.
I think his mom and sister are the cutest things in the world haha.
I enjoy being there, and I like that welcome feeling.
And I couldnt have asked for anyone better.
Honestly, I was in a really dark place for a little while there. I was in this mindset that I was useless, and it seemed like everybody was confirming that for me.
When people ask you what you're doing with your life, and you have nothing to tell them, it hurts.
Yeah.. Im going to school. But, the way I see it is "Community college, big fucking deal."
I was putting myself down over and over again because I felt like this point in my life isnt good enough for anybody.
But, then I realized that, its good enough for me, and it's my life so why the fuck does it matter?
Im doing the best I can for myself right now.
I left everything I knew behind to come here to help out family that I cant even stand, and nobodys helping me.
Every single thing I have I earned.
I pay for school by myself.
With the exception of like $400 my dad gave me I came up with the rest of my money on my own.
A lot of times I feel like nobodys listening to me.. I feel like nobody can relate to me.
But, its then that I realize we're all on our own.
You cant depend on anybody but yourself, and thats upsetting.
At any rate...
I went to Jeffs house last night. We watched a movie in the basement because he has neurosis when it comes to his bedroom.
We went outside for a walk and when we came back I felt like a popsicle.
Sooo, he made hot coco and we sat by the fire and talked.
And I love when we talk to each other about things that actually matter, because it reminds me that not only is he the boy that Im in love with, but hes my best friend too.
Not only do I love him, but I think its awesome that his family welcomes me the way they do.
I think his mom and sister are the cutest things in the world haha.
I enjoy being there, and I like that welcome feeling.
And I couldnt have asked for anyone better.