(no subject)
After a tiresome argument with Andrew that really went no where, IV reflected that it is my own doubts to be a good provider for Lilly.
How can I give her everything she will need and want and not be capable to financially care for myself? Having her was absolutely the best thing to ever happened to me. I don't want to disappoint. I especially do not want to raise her without her father. I cannot let my selfish thoughts get the best of me. I only want what is best for her. She makes me selfless. Even though its been stressful at times I've got to keep it together.
Almost 3 months. My brain is starting to heal completely.
My dreams are changing I feel as though before I was even preventing myself from a happy outcome in my dreams. Now that I am dreaming differently I want the old ways back because I did not wake wanting what I had dreamed or certain outcomes. Life is what it is. Even if I'm not a 100 percent happy with who I am with. That's so far fetched.
Sudden feelings of people close to me passing are not pleasant. I do not like thinking this way. I cannot afford to loose anyone else. The guilt I live with each day of what I should have done/ said can consume me if I allow Them to.
How can I give her everything she will need and want and not be capable to financially care for myself? Having her was absolutely the best thing to ever happened to me. I don't want to disappoint. I especially do not want to raise her without her father. I cannot let my selfish thoughts get the best of me. I only want what is best for her. She makes me selfless. Even though its been stressful at times I've got to keep it together.
Almost 3 months. My brain is starting to heal completely.
My dreams are changing I feel as though before I was even preventing myself from a happy outcome in my dreams. Now that I am dreaming differently I want the old ways back because I did not wake wanting what I had dreamed or certain outcomes. Life is what it is. Even if I'm not a 100 percent happy with who I am with. That's so far fetched.
Sudden feelings of people close to me passing are not pleasant. I do not like thinking this way. I cannot afford to loose anyone else. The guilt I live with each day of what I should have done/ said can consume me if I allow Them to.