(no subject)
So i went to Florida. It was boring. For an entire week I did not talk to anyone except my mom and my brother. Ignore my last entry I was PMSed depressed.
I'm kind of proud that for the first time all summer I have gone an entire week without getting fucked up or doing something bad. It could be that I am regaining morals or maybe its because I suck at life.
I got this book of poems from the indie music scene. God I wish i was half as talented as those boys. Well maybe i could be if I got really fucked up on shrooms a la incubus and wrote lyrics. I think me and adam are going to do them sometime.. if I ever talk to him again that is.
"we fuck to songs that have no rhythm and thats why i'm so in love with you"
go to the leak at mtv.com and listen to taking back sundays new cd. Its fucking amazing. espiecally new american classic
"It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore" if thats notmy life in one sentence than i dont know what is.
Sometimes i think i really underestimate myself. I settle for boys who will never be what i need. boys who most people would be ashamed to be seen with. maybe its because having these infinite amount of ugly boys wanting me makes me feel good about myself. or maybe in my fucked up taste they are hot. looks really dont matter to me. no ones looks but mine. i'll never be attractive in my own opinion.
i want to find a boy who makes me feel real again. with adam i knew nothing would ever feel right with him and i still was sad when he left and i still miss him. i need to get what i deserve.
i havent cried in 3 months. sober.
i completed my goal for the summer to fuck adam. i wish i never had started talking to him again.
everything seems to be about sex to me lately. just constantly looking for a fuck buddy that doesnt mean anything. fucking anything. the last person i kissed that actually meant something was stuart. and that was a long fucking time ago. I've kissed at least 15 people since then.
god. i wish i felt real again.
I'm kind of proud that for the first time all summer I have gone an entire week without getting fucked up or doing something bad. It could be that I am regaining morals or maybe its because I suck at life.
I got this book of poems from the indie music scene. God I wish i was half as talented as those boys. Well maybe i could be if I got really fucked up on shrooms a la incubus and wrote lyrics. I think me and adam are going to do them sometime.. if I ever talk to him again that is.
"we fuck to songs that have no rhythm and thats why i'm so in love with you"
go to the leak at mtv.com and listen to taking back sundays new cd. Its fucking amazing. espiecally new american classic
"It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore" if thats notmy life in one sentence than i dont know what is.
Sometimes i think i really underestimate myself. I settle for boys who will never be what i need. boys who most people would be ashamed to be seen with. maybe its because having these infinite amount of ugly boys wanting me makes me feel good about myself. or maybe in my fucked up taste they are hot. looks really dont matter to me. no ones looks but mine. i'll never be attractive in my own opinion.
i want to find a boy who makes me feel real again. with adam i knew nothing would ever feel right with him and i still was sad when he left and i still miss him. i need to get what i deserve.
i havent cried in 3 months. sober.
i completed my goal for the summer to fuck adam. i wish i never had started talking to him again.
everything seems to be about sex to me lately. just constantly looking for a fuck buddy that doesnt mean anything. fucking anything. the last person i kissed that actually meant something was stuart. and that was a long fucking time ago. I've kissed at least 15 people since then.
god. i wish i felt real again.