(no subject)
I don't know why i make a post occasionally. I really dont think that ANYONE reads this, I dont think anyone has in maybe 3 or 4 years. I guess I use this as a literal journal. so anyway, I really, really want to get out of this fucking slump. Sometimes I fear that I will just never get my shit together, and even after college, when I have my job, I am still just going to sit around feeling sorry for myself like a fucking asshole. one of the unfortunate signs of clinical depression is constantly barraging ones self with negative thoughts. Without even realizing, I will just say to myself "jordan, you are fucking pathetic, why cant you get over your shit and start enjoying things that you used to enjoy" It is nothing i am proud of, and the sort of thing that i would hate to hear some douchebag talk about, I would feel like they were half bragging because they have some interesting symptom, and I haaaate when people do that. But then again, no one reads this, so its just for me.
I guess I just wanted to type this out and try to start working on moving past my current state of being. So, well... how did I used to write in my live journal? I guess I just wrote down what i did during that day, or i put in some melodramatic lyrics and acted like my problems were much bigger than they really are... hmm, sounds familiar.
Today I woke up, did nothing... borrowed my mothers car to leave the house for 2 hours.. awesome. Got dinner with the fam, got home and started working on a new song. yessssss. i like it so far, Dustin came over and helped me with some guitar work, because i am no guitar player, not in the least bit. After that Brad and I went to 2020, hung around there for a little while. Came back to my house with byrd and tayloire and we got some fancy ass cheese from kroger, took it home, and ate it while watching curb your enthusiasm. now i am tired, and want to go to bed. f