Reborn! fic - Degrassi: The Mafia Generation
Title: Degrassi: The Mafia Generation
Rating: PG-13 (for language and high school drama)
Characters: Tsuna, Gokudera, Yamamoto, and some other quick cameos
Notes/Warnings: Not sure if this ended up being more a send-up of Degrassi or just a send-up of high school AUs in general, but uh. Either way, you've been warned.
Summary: Whatever it takes, they know they can make it through. :)
“My life sucks!” wailed Tsuna as he collapsed onto his bed. “I’m not popular, I’m failing all my classes, and I don’t have a girlfriend!”
“Yeah, you’ve pretty much got nothing to live for,” agreed Reborn as he casually turned a page of the magazine he was reading. Probably it was a magazine about guns or something. He really loves those guns.
“Hey, what’s that you’re reading?” Tsuna asked as he glanced over Reborn’s shoulder. “A magazine about guns?”
“Your point being?”
The camera zoomed in on Tsuna’s silent, thoughtful gaze until even the most oblivious viewers could clearly see that he was in the midst of developing some outrageously stupid and possibly suicidal idea.
“Are you thinking of bringing a gun to school?” asked Reborn idly.
“Well, it’s not like I’d actually shoot anyone with it!” Tsuna protested. “I’d only use it, you know, to impress the other kids and prove to them that I’m cool!”
“Okay, sure,” said Reborn, reaching over to the literal pile of guns he keeps right next to his hammock and tossing one at Tsuna in the most careless way humanly possible. “I see no way a plan like that can possibly backfire or go wrong at all.”
---
“Oh, look,” said Gokudera, the teenage rebel with a heart of gold, “a popular kid. Fuck him and his popularity. You just know popular assholes like that don’t have any real problems in the world because they’re so fucking happy and popular. Fuck.”
“…” said Chrome neutrally.
“Oh, shit,” continued Gokudera, snapping to attention from where he had been leaning casually against his locker, “he’s coming this way, fuck. Let’s get out of here before-”
“Hey, Gokudera!” said Yamamoto as he butted into the conversation and brought all of Gokudera’s fears to life. “Hey, Chrome! What’s up?”
“Screw you, popular kid,” said Gokudera.
“…” said Chrome.
“Now, now, don’t be like that, we’re all friends here!” laughed Yamamoto as he slung an arm over each of them.
“I’d never be friends with a popular jerkoff like you!” retorted Gokudera, outraged. He shoved Yamamoto’s arm away. “Why don’t you just fuck off and die?”
“Hey,” frowned Yamamoto, seemingly oblivious to Gokudera’s seething hate, “aren’t you swearing an awful lot for someone on TeenNick?”
“Your face is too ugly for someone on TeenNick.”
“…No…” paused Yamamoto, taking a moment to examine himself in a nearby mirror, “I’m pretty sure I’m just as attractive as the average person in this school.” He glanced over at the general student body which was seemingly filled with teenage models.
“Go to hell!!” Gokudera screamed at him. He turned and stormed off.
“Maa…” sighed Yamamoto, taking up Gokudera’s now-vacant position leaning against the locker. His gaze followed the angry boy wistfully until he faded from sight.
“…” said Chrome, wondering why she even knew these people.
---
“Dad, I’ve got a problem,” Yamamoto confessed that night at dinnertime.
“Now, Takeshi, you’re attractive, popular, and good at sports,” said Tsuyoshi as he munched unconcernedly on a piece of sushi. “What problems could someone like you possibly have?”
“Well, the thing is, Dad… I’m sort of… different from the other kids at school,” Yamamoto replied.
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Well… the truth is… I sort of like other guys.”
“Are you saying you’re gay, Takeshi?”
“Well… yeah.” Yamamoto laughed, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.
“Oh, son.” Tsuyoshi smiled and ruffled his boy’s hair. “You know there’s nothing wrong with that!”
“Really?”
“Absolutely! You can like whoever you want to like, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Yamamoto smiled back at him and they had a beautiful father/son bonding moment. “The only thing is,” he added after a pause, “I’m kind of worried about what will happen when the other kids find out.”
“Eh, don’t worry about that. It’s not like your school is run by a bunch of bullies or anything.”
“Actually…” Yamamoto paused. “It kind of is.” He pictured the school’s head prefect, Hibari Kyoya, and his pack of vicious Disciplinary Committee members. “…In fact, yes, our school is literally run by a pack of bullies.”
“Oh. Well, whatever.” Tsuyoshi shrugged. “You’ll just have to deal with it, then.”
---
“That kid’s got a gun!” shrieked a random passerby. “Oh my GOD!”
“Somebody stop him!” wailed a pregnant sixteen-year-old. “Don’t let him hurt my baby!”
“Where’s the principal?!” shouted a third student, looking this way and that in a panic and wondering why there didn’t seem to be a single adult in the whole school.
“The teachers only show up when there’s someone doing drugs who’s never done drugs before and is terrified of getting caught!” said the first. “Quick, anyone got a joint?”
“No, wait, wait!” Tsuna tried to explain. “You’ve got it all wrong!” He glanced around desperately, wondering where this seemingly foolproof plan had gone and made its shocking turn for the worst. “I don’t want to hurt anybody, I just thought-”
“You just thought what?” came a voice from down the other end of the hall. The camera panned toward the voice in shock, and several fangirls gave delighted cries. There stood Gokudera, glaring at the crowd and Tsuna in particular with disgust. Several kids nodded to themselves, remembering how Gokudera’s father had been killed by a guy with a gun.
“I-” Tsuna stammered. “I… I…”
“You thought waving a gun around would make you cool? How fucking stupid are you? Kids you like you sicken me-you’re even worse than the popular kids.”
Several of the spectators gasped out loud, and the football team exchanged angry glances with each other. Out of nowhere, someone gave Gokudera a hard shove that sent him stumbling backward. “Got a problem with the popular kids, freak?”
“Fuck off,” shot back Gokudera, eyes flashing with unspoken angst. Several kids nodded to themselves, remembering how Gokudera’s mother had been killed by a popular kid.
“…” said Tsuna, his own angst already completely and utterly forgotten in the wake of this new development.
The football kid’s expression darkened and he raised a meaty fist, but just before he could make contact, he was shoved aside by a tall, slender boy with an aura of justice about him.
“Back off, man, that’s enough,” said Yamamoto firmly.
“You’re gonna side with this freak, Takeshi?” said the football kid in outrage. “He just insulted our kind!”
“There’s more important things in life than being popular,” Yamamoto asserted.
All of a sudden, you could hear a pin drop in the hall.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” said the football kid at last. “Anyway, fine. You want to throw in your lot with this freak, then you can be an outcast just like him.” Having pronounced this stunning verdict, he turned and stalked off with the rest of his football mob, leaving Gokudera and Yamamoto more or less alone so they could have their at-least-we-learned-an-important-lesson moment together.
“…You all right?” Yamamoto said at last.
Gokudera glared at him. “Fine,” he huffed, edging back warily. “I didn’t need your stupid help anyway.”
“Sorry about that,” said Yamamoto.
“…The hell does a popular kid like you even give a shit about someone like me, anyway?” asked Gokudera, looking away emoishly.
“Hey, popular kids have problems too. Just look at Hibari Kyoya and his drinking problem.”
Gokudera shrugged, acknowledging that much. Ever since Hibari’s parents had died in a car crash, his life had been one big downhill rollercoaster ride.
“And, you know…” said Yamamoto hesitantly, “…I kind of like you, too.”
“W-what?” said Gokudera, looking back at him with sudden vulnerability.
“I was afraid to tell you before, but… yeah,” said Yamamoto, his hesitant smile and awkward posture practically glowing with waves of irresistible boyish charm.
For a moment, Gokudera looked like he would be won over, but then he shrunk back, shaking his head and pulling his uniform jacket protectively around him. “No… it just wouldn’t work.”
“Gokudera-!” Yamamoto began before gasping as he grabbed the other boy’s sleeve to stop him from leaving, inadvertently exposing the harsh red lines that had been concealed on the forearm below. “What…?”
“Get away from me!” Gokudera hissed in shame and fury, pulling his arm back and hastily pulling the sleeve back down. “Just leave me alone!”
“No, Gokudera…” Yamamoto again moved to cut him off, leaning in face to face, sympathy and understanding emanating from his relentless gaze.
“…” said Gokudera uncertainly.
Then they started making out.
---
“So I guess bringing a gun to school wasn’t the best idea after all,” said Tsuna thoughtfully as he handed the piece back to its rightful owner, currently sitting in his locker.
“Go figure,” said Reborn indifferently. “Live and learn.”
“But I did learn something important,” Tsuna continued as they walked down the hall past the computer lab where Sasagawa Ryohei was about to discover that his sweet and innocent little sister had been secretly involved in a scandalous relationship with her biology professor, Mr. Shamal. “Instead of flashing guns around to try to boost my confidence, maybe I should just try being myself, eh?”
“Whatever,” Reborn said.
For all of you wondering, "what the fuck did I just read?", the only thing I can say to you is-- *runs* XD