SHAKE AND BAKE BABY

[makeste]

Goddammit I just found out the first chapter of Vongola GP is THIRTY-ONE FUCKING PAGES, FUCK MY LIFE sob oh well let's just get this over with already.


I'm going to follow a different format for this and all potential future GP reviews, mostly because I'm too lazy to write paragraphs and paragraphs about a super-deformed racecar AU, no matter how adorable it is. So what I'm going to do is just read through the chapter and jot down any random observations in bullet points.

• oh my goodness Tsuna is driving a Nuts car, a real car made of Nuts, haha this manga is my favorite already.
  
  
• Okay, here we go! I really like that guy in the top right, the one who's shaking his fist and being all >8D about racing. I agree with his >8D because Gokudera is driving an Uri car and just blew something up. If this race really existed it would be the only sport I ever watched.
  
  
• l-lol and he was doing it to support the Tenth, of course. OF COURSE. The tenth what, I don't even know, but who cares.
  
  
• Man, no wonder Byakuran never took the Vongola seriously, if this was the kind of thing he was always coming across in all of his parallel universe jaunts.
  
  
• 999 losses out of 999 races oh my god why is he even employed, why did this ever become his career of choice??
  
  
• OH MY GOD THAT REALLY IS KYOKO, she looked so different on the cover that I honestly thought it must be some brand new AU character. CRAZY!
  
  
• SHE'S A FLORIST. OF COURSE.
  
  
• wait... are these... are we supposed to recognize these guys, or are they just random AU thugs? I honestly can't tell. At any rate, I love how one of them is munching on a chocolate bar because THAT'S TOTALLY WHAT RACECAR BULLIES DO, AM I RIGHT. YOU KNOW IT.
  
  
• He decided to become a racer? He actually volunteered and wasn't coerced into it? SERIOUSLY, OMG TSUNA WHY? WAS IT BECAUSE OF THE RACER UNIFORMS? IT WAS THE UNIFORMS WASN'T IT.
  
  
• uristorm g oh my god loling so hard heeeeheheheehheheeheeeee hee hee
  
  
• hee
  
  
• OH OF COURSE PRIMO WORE A CAPE EVEN AS A RACECAR DRIVER. DESPITE THE FACT THAT WOULDN'T IT CAUSE AN AWFUL LOT OF DRAG? HE MUST HAVE BEEN AMAZING TO COMPENSATE FOR THAT.
  
  
• oh my he's connected with gangsters, the PLOT THICKENS.
  
  
• SUDDENLY A BABY OUT OF NOWHERE, WHAT UP?
  
  
• Oh my, this baby is quite violent.
  
  
• AND HE'S A FORMER RACER, EH? CIRCUIT ASSASSIN? AND HE QUIT TO BECOME A RACING TUTOR? It seems that this series draws quite a few parallels with another manga series I'm familiar with, it's so weird!
  
  
• The Vongola circuit looks like something straight out of Mario Kart.
  
  
• oh man what I wouldn't give to be able to play as Tsuna in Mario Kart.
  
  
• Really now, Tsuna, it is well established that being chased by a steamroller makes you a better driver. Now I wish Will Ferrell's fake dad had done this in Talladega Nights too.
  
  
• Enma is the best racer in the world? Enma? That seems random to me given that he's supposed to be as failish as Tsuna normally but oh whatever. No doubt he's racing to avenge the memory of his sister Mami who was killed in a tragic racing accident some years ago. BUT SECRETLY SHE SURVIVED AND NOW RACES UNDER THE ADOPTED PSEUDONYM OF RACER M! SPOILERS!!!
  
  
• A giant boxing glove! That's so awesome because whenever I read KHR I am constantly thinking to myself how much better all these chapters would be if only they had more giant boxing gloves springing up out of nowhere.
  
  
• Haha that fistpump guy is back. |D He must have season tickets or something. --IS HE YAMAMOTO??? IS THAT A TWIST THAT IN A FEW PAGES HE WILL TURN OUT TO BE YAMAMOTO?
  
  
• OOH, HARU'S KIND OF A LITTLE SLUTTIER IN THIS AU IF YOU'LL FORGIVE ME FOR SAYING. DID SHE SERIOUSLY WRITE VONGOLA ON HER ABDOMEN SO SHE COULD FLASH IT ALL AROUND WHILE ANNOUNCING THE RACE? MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY IS A MANGA DRAWN IN SUCH A CUTESY STYLE TRYING TO BE SEXY AT ALL? MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY AM I EVEN COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS I'LL JUST SHUT UP NOW.
  
  
• Tsuna... yes you did. Don't you remember the steamroller? That was only like four pages ago. Keep up, son.
  
  
• IS THAT BIANCHI HOLDING A VONGOLA UMBRELLA AND WEARING THE SAME OUTFIT AS HARU OH MY GOD IT IS
  
  
• AND YET DESPITE THIS I AM FAIRLY CERTAIN TEAM SIMON ACTUALLY HAS VONGOLA OUTCLASSED IN THE SEXY DEPARTMENT SOLELY ON ACCOUNT OF ADELHEID (though Enma is in fairness no slouch himself).
  
  
• Enma, darling, 999 losses out of 999 races. I'm fairly certain they don't need crushing.
  
  
• why does the Reborn in this AU keep saying things like "word" and "yo". ???
  
  
• OH NO TSUNA'S BEING CHASED BY A HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO... THAT'S ACTUALLY A RHINO BUT WHATEVER
  
  
• WHO GAVE THIS KID A FUCKING LICENSE
  
  
• WHO GAVE THIS KID A FUCKING LICENSE????!!!
  
  
• LOLING FOREVER at Enma's car oh my god he is driving a car made out of his friend Large oh my god. AND WHO IS ADELHEID DRIVING THEN? IS THAT SHITT P?
  
  
• Primo's course record was one minute? Seriously? Damn, blink and it's over; maybe I should rethink what I said about actually watching these races if they were in real life.
  
  
• Suddenly, somehow, I ship Adelheid and Gokudera.
  
  
• OH MY LORD SHE'S GOING TO CLEAVE HIM IN TWO these races have shockingly lax safety regulations!
  
  
• --HOW DID HE EVEN DO THAT AND HELLO, REAR ANGLE OF ADELHEID! PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.
  
  
• STEROIDS! IS NO SPORT SACRED ANYMORE?
  
  
• Wow, HDW!Tsuna is scary in this AU.
  
  
• Actually, it really is exactly like fucking Mario Kart. Down to the power-ups and everything. SHROOOOOOMS
  
  
• AND OUR HERO WINS! But it's a tainted victory! He should really be disqualified, but whatever, I'm spoiling the moment here. But I think an ethics investigation into the sport of Battle Karts is really long overdue.
  
  
• Why is Adelheid crying and why is Enma smirking, did some drastic personality switch occur that I was never informed about, what is this.
  
  
• "THIS TIME YOU MIGHT REALLY DIE FROM HERE ON!" Aww. He looks so happy. :D

THIS MANGA... well, I'm really not sure just what the hell to think about it yet, but I will say this much for it: lulz were had. And I suppose that's really all I could have asked for. XD

WELL, THAT AND YAMAMOTO. AND BYAKURAN. IF ONE OF THESE UNIVERSES WOULD JUST BE SO KIND AS TO OBLIGE US WITH AN UPDATE ON THESE GUYS, THAT WOULD BE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED, THANKS.