i know more than one person can apply this to themselves.

[makesmeweak]

am i not smart enough? funny enough? pretty enough? everytime i turn around something new comes up that i don't know how to deal with. i know i eventually pick myself back up. its been the story of my life it seems, but i'm tired. i'm tired. so tired. i love you. and i want to say i'd wait for you forever. you say that the feelings you have, or now

Comments

[makesmeweak]

actually, adrienne i think you are a wonderful girl. i've never thought you were horrible. i don't know you very well at all. but i've always thought you were nice. i'm so happy that you guys have a house and a new baby and matching blazers. i think that is cute and you guys are lucky to have everything you have togehter. i'm confused about somethign though. what are you talking about things going on behind your back? i haven't seen him since graduation. i've talked to him a few times here online. i'm not interested in him in anyway other than a FRIEND. and to be completely honest i haven't been interested in him in any other way since i was in eigth grade. long long before you and him started dating. i dated a boy for four years and was goign to get married to him, and now i am with someone else. so whatever insecurities you may feel towards me or me talking to him i am sorry.

i'm not sure if you thought that this journal post was written to him or anything like, but it wasn't. it was written for michael sinec you know, he's the one i'm with and all. and jp was just replying to cheer me up. i don't understand how this is going behind your back? honestly, i'm somewhat hurt that anyone would consider me to be that kind of a person.

remember when you were upset because jp called me to ask advice how what he could do to cheer you up and you called me upset because you said i didn't know you enough to give advice? well thats understandable, but the same applies with you. you do not know me well enough to make judgements on me. i'm a nice girl. i've never cheated on anyone. i know how it feels. i was cheated on once and it completely fucked me up in regards to relationships i feel for the rest of my life. i would never try to hurt another person. no matter how much they have hurt me. for the past few years i have put up wiht a lot of shit from my family that i don't deserve. and still i always do my best to be a nice person.

and maybe the reson i've never come over and you've never seen me is because i've never been invited. i feel like you have this whole idea going through your head that we talk all the time and intentionally behind your back. that is not the case at all. i can't even remember the last time we talked. i know what it feels like to feel the way you do right now. and i think that maybe you should add me on msn or call me or whatever you want and we can talk. i would be more than happy to talk to you about anything and everything you want.

my email is wnsprague87@hotmail.com and my cell is 765 623 3003. its verizon so if you have verizon and want to text me thats fine. and if you call and i don't answer or can't get back to you right away its not because i don't want to talk to you or am avoiding you, its because i am working. i work a lot.

i really feel like we need to talk and get a lot of things cleared up. again, i want to make this very very clear. i am not interested in him, and i haven't been since eighth grade. i have my own life. my own boyfriend and my owm problems. i really don't want any more than i have now. this is in no way written with any ill mood or anything like that.