Nightmares part 2
Nightmares part 2
Pairing: Fem!Cousland/Iona, pre-Fem!Cousland/Leliana
Rating: NC17 for violence, blood, and fem on fem sex (though ‘tis rather tame). (This makes it NSFW!)
Synopsis: Erika Cousland’s nightmares are from more than just her tainted blood, Leliana helps her lighten the burden by listening to her story.
Disclaimer: BioWare owns this… Except Erika who is mine, I tells you, mine! My preciousssssssssssssss!
A/N: Previous A/Ns apply, I won't repeat them here. Also, this part has the sex scene!
Iona blushed, “She… she does, many people say she looks a good deal like me. I think I’m the only one who sees her father in her,” the lady-in-waiting looked away for a moment, the sadness in her eyes was of a distant past hurt, or at least that’s what Erika hoped was the case anyway.
“You don’t hope for more for your daughter?” Erika asked, “If she’s as smart as you, she could rise higher, I’m sure.”
“You flatter me, my lady,” Iona said, “I have risen high above the usual stations my people could expect. I would not tempt fate by wishing for more.”
“You were letting Dairren win,” Erika said.
Iona blushed again, “He is not a very good player,” she told her, “But it would not be polite for a servant to beat him.”
Erika shook her head, “If it were me you were playing, you’d be punished for that.”
Iona looked startled, “My lady?” she asked, “What do you mean by that?”
“Oh, it was a poor choice of words,” Erika replied, “I would want you to do your very best to beat me, because if you didn’t, I wouldn’t learn.”
“I see,” Iona said, with a touch of hesitation.
“Lady Landra treats you well, yes?” Erika asked.
“Yes, of course,” Iona replied, “She’s been very good to me, and is very good to all her elven servants. Which is not true of all households, but I hear it is in yours. It speaks well of your father to show such compassion.”
“Some might say he was too soft hearted,” Erika said, “But he just treats people with the respect they deserve.”
“A noble sentiment,” Iona said, smiling again.
Erika almost sighed, Smart, polite, and beautiful - I don’t deserve someone like her, she thought, oh but it doesn’t stop me from wanting her! Iona must have said something else, but Erika missed it, lost as she was in her own thoughts and feelings.
“Erika?” Iona prompted.
“Oh, what?” Erika said, blushing, “I’m sorry.”
“No need to be, my lady,” Iona told her, “You must have a lot on your mind, what with managing the castle in the months to come, and your father and brother riding off to war.”
“Um,” Erika looked down at the ground, “You could say that… I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
“I noticed that you don’t have a lady-in-waiting of your own,” Iona said, “I was wondering why that was.”
“I really don’t like others serving me, especially when it’s something I can do myself,” Erika said, “My friends have been the soldiers and the hounds, and I’m not particularly interested in the more feminine arts, though my mother has been trying to get me to pay attention to them ever since I was a child.”
“No, I don’t really see you sitting and embroidering,” Iona said, chuckling softly, “Though I wouldn’t say you’d be pricking yourself with every stitch, you seem very deft of touch.”
Erika’s eyebrows rose, “What makes you think I’m deft of touch?” she asked, “It isn’t like I go through the castle picking pockets or the locks on every door.”
Iona laughed, “At least not that you’d tell anyone about,” she said. Iona’s laugh was as beautiful as she was herself, and Erika found it quite infectious.
“True enough,” Erika said, once her own laughter had faded.
“I noticed you when we arrived,” Iona told her, “You were playing ‘magical’ tricks for the young squires in the courtyard, making a coin dance over your knuckles, making it disappear in your palm, and then reappear from a squire’s ear - sleight of hand.”
“You noticed me, did you?” Erika asked, feeling a blush threatening to take over her face again, “I’m surprised, I try not to stand out.”
“A good lady-in-waiting knows who is who,” Iona replied, “And Lady Landra has talked about you an awful lot since the spring salon. She thinks you would make a good match for her son, and most people who know both families would agree with that sentiment. It would be good for the Bann to have closer ties to the Couslands.”
“And what do you think?” Erika asked her.
“I must admit that now I have met you, I find the idea… a little disquieting,” she said, “While politically the match is excellent, I just don’t think he interests you all that much, and that could lead to trouble.”
“You’re right,” Erika said, “He really doesn’t. Mother suggested a match of convenience and that I should take a lover if he didn’t satisfy me completely.”
“Knowing Dairren as I do,” Iona said, “I don’t think that would work. He can be quite… possessive at times…” Iona paused and looked at Erika with a touch of speculation, “Plus a lover might result in awkwardness if it ever came to determining succession.”
Erika looked back at Iona, biting her lip for a moment. Surely it wasn’t possible that Iona hadn’t picked up her quirk of nature? Perhaps she was just looking for confirmation. “I wouldn’t take a male lover, so that would not be a problem,” she said eventually.
Iona grinned, “Oh, I see,” was all she said, her brilliant turquoise eyes full of amusement.
Erika cleared her throat, “So… anyone special back home?” she asked.
“No longer,” Iona said, her amusement dimmed a little, “And between raising my daughter and working for Lady Landra, I really haven’t had the time for such things.”
“Surely a woman as beautiful as you would have suitors lining up,” Erika said.
Iona chuckled a little, “You flatter me, my lady,” she said, “But I am not so pretty as all that, and having a daughter puts more than a few off.”
“Then they’re fools!” Erika exclaimed, then brought her hands up to hide her face, I did not just say that… she thought, how singularly clumsy!
“I am very flattered, my lady,” Iona said gently, stepping closer in. Erika felt slender fingers encircling her wrists, and let her hands be pulled away from her face. Iona’s gaze was serious as their eyes met. Erika felt as if the world around them had just stopped, and there was nothing else but the elven woman and her own racing heartbeat.
“I would like to know you better, Iona,” Erika said softly, not taking her eyes from the elven woman’s.
“I am not interested in some short fling,” Iona responded.
“Neither am I,” Erika said.
“Then perhaps we can discuss this later,” Iona said lowering her voice until it was barely more than a whisper, and stepped closer still, tilting her head up to keep their gazes locked. Erika could almost feel the heat of her body, they were so achingly close now. The emphasis of her words was not lost on the noble woman, and it sent a tingle through her body.
“I would like that,” Erika said huskily.
“If I come to your door later tonight, once everyone is asleep,” Iona whispered, “Would that be agreeable to you, my lady?”
“Please, Iona,” Erika breathed, “Call me Erika, and that would be most agreeable indeed.”
Iona smiled, “Until tonight, then,” she said, then slipped past Erika and out the door of the study before she could say anything more.
Erika went through what was left of the afternoon in a blur. She could think of nothing but Iona, and what might happen that evening. After they had all gathered to say farewell to Fergus, who was leaving that night with the Cousland forces, her brother pulled her aside.
“Now what has you all distracted, sister mine?” he asked, “Surely not a late night rendezvous?”
“What?!” Erika exclaimed, feeling the blood rushing to her face once again, her ears burning, “Of course not, no!”
“Don’t lie to me, you saucy minx!” Fergus said, “It’s that elven lass that came with Lady Landra, isn’t it?”
“Maker’s breath!” Erika glared at her brother, “Does everybody know?”
Fergus laughed, “No, but I do now!” he said.
“Oh you!” Erika punched him in the chest, but only succeeded in hurting her hand against his breastplate.
“Come on, Erika,” he said, “Surely you didn’t think you’d be able to hide your attraction to the girls forever, did you?”
“Damn it, Fergus, I’m not that transparent!!” Erika cried.
Fergus laughed again, harder this time, and it took him a moment to catch his breath, “Oh boy, are our parents in for a rocky road with you!” he said, “Poor Mother is going to be heartbroken!”
“Actually, she’s not,” Erika said, frowning, “She already knows. She practically pushed me into asking Dairren to marry me, just so I could be closer to Iona.”
“Ha!” Fergus exclaimed, “And what did Dairren say?”
“He’s not interested in playing second fiddle to a woman,” Erika told him, “In any case, I’m not going to worry about marriage right now when you’re going off war!”
“Yes, there is that,” Fergus said, his tone becoming serious, “I am going to miss you, sister. Take care of everyone while I’m gone, and be here when I get back!”
“I plan to be, brother mine,” Erika said, “I just wish…”
“I know,” Fergus said, pulling her into a tight embrace. Then he stepped back, and marched off to lead the Cousland forces south.
Erika went to her room early, at her father’s suggestion that she get an early night, and then paced back and forth waiting for Iona’s knock. She felt herself trembling in excitement, and stopped for a moment, taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. She hadn’t felt this nervous in a long while. She had just about managed to calm her nerves when a light tap set them all off again. She went across to the door, and opened it slightly to peer out into the hallway. Iona stood there, and smiled when she saw Erika. The noble woman wordlessly opened the door fully, then closed it behind Iona. She turned around, and the elven woman stepped in very close, and slipped her arms up and around the back of Erika’s neck, pulling her down to kiss her passionately. Surprise froze Erika for an instant, but then she kissed back, her own arms slipping around Iona’s slim waist.
They parted to breathe, and gazed into each other’s eyes for a long moment, enjoying the combined warmth of their bodies where they pressed together.
“Iona,” Erika said softly, “I…”
“Erika,” Iona’s tone was warm and sweet, “I wanted to do that from the moment we bumped into each other.”
“But I wasn’t intending us to… err,” Erika said, “I just wanted to… talk some?”
“That was all I intended too,” Iona told her, “But I think we’re both grown women, we both know what we want… At least I hope you feel as I do. You’re someone special, Erika, and I don’t want to squander any chance we might have to be together.”
“But we barely know each other,” Erika said weakly. She wanted nothing more than to kiss Iona again, then take her across to the bed and explore that marvellously soft pale skin with her fingers and lips and tongue, but she didn’t want to risk frightening Iona off with the intensity of her need.
“Have I misread your desire, my lady?” Iona asked, and now her voice was full of uncertainty, and Erika almost flinched at the honorific.
“Oh Maker no,” Erika said, “I just don’t want to go too fast, and lose the chance to know you.”
“You did hear what I said in the study this afternoon,” Iona said, a faint smile gracing her lips, lips that were slightly swollen from their initial kiss, “I am not interested in anything short term.”
“Then we have a few days, at least, before you must return to your mistress’s home,” Erika said, “We don’t have…”
“We have a few days only,” Iona said, amusement lighting up her eyes, “And I don’t intend to waste a single moment of the time we have. After that, only the Maker knows when we’ll see each other again.” She rolled up onto the balls of her feet, and kissed Erika again. This time, Erika was a little more prepared, and she lost herself in the heat of the moment, tongue dancing ardently with Iona’s.
They stumbled together across the room, clothes being shed and discarded on the floor. Then warm naked flesh joined on the bed, fingers and lips exploring each other, tasting and teasing. Erika felt swept away, she had never felt anything like this before, not even in her fumbling experiments with a stable lass - one who had simply disappeared one day - Erika had always wondered where she had gone, and now she knew it was probably her mother’s doing. Iona’s skin was as soft as and as smooth as satin, her tongue was like velvet against her breasts, and her fingers were very nimble as they teased at her sex before deftly slipping in and filling Erika with a fiery pleasure that quickly rose to overwhelm her. Then Erika impressed Iona with her own knowledge of a woman’s body, showing the elven woman that she was quite correct about Erika’s dexterity and ability to manipulate things with her fingers.
Afterwards, as she drifted towards sleep, Erika fiercely vowed that Iona would not be returning home with Lady Landra, but she never got as far as to work out how she would arrange that.
Mischief’s barking pulled Erika out of her sleep. She could faintly smell smoke, and hear shouts. A fire? She thought blearily, how inconvenient. In her arms, Iona stirred and woke, looking up at Erika with half lidded turquoise eyes, a small pleased smile on her lips.
“Your dog is barking,” Iona said softly, “Is there something wrong?”
“I think a fire,” Erika said, becoming more awake. She reluctantly pulled herself away from the warmth of Iona’s body, and slipped out of the covers. She could feel Iona’s eyes on her nude form, faintly illuminated by the light coming in through a window. Mischief was alternately barking and growling threateningly.
“I don’t think it’s a fire,” Iona murmured, sitting up, the sheets falling from her shoulders to pool around her waist. At any other time, Erika would have stopped to stare, but she was worried now. The shouting was coming closer.
“Stay there,” Erika said, quickly taking her knives down from her weapon stand, “I’m going to see what’s going on…” She didn’t bother with a robe, nor did she look back at the bed, she just walked out into the sitting room of her suite.
Mischief was standing facing the door, his hackles raised as he growled low in his chest.
“What is it?” Erika asked him. His only response was a fierce barking.
“There’s someone in the hall,” Iona’s voice nearly made Erika jump out of her skin, “I can hear them, oh Erika, something is very wrong.”
“I know,” Erika said, and then the door burst in.
She got a glimpse of two armoured men in the door way before she was shoved aside by Iona. The crossbow bolt from the second man, whistled through the air should have hit her, but instead hit Iona squarely in the chest. There was no time to check to see if Iona lived, Erika was getting back to her feet to deal with the immediate threat, even as Mischief leapt at the first man, who carried a sword and shield. Erika dodged past him, and charged at the crossbowman as he frantically tried to reload his bow. Two quick knife blows to the neck caused blood to spurt and splash across her face. The mabari warhound was lunging at the swordman, and Erika took advantage of his distraction by plunging her two blades through chinks in his armour, hitting his kidneys. He went down screaming in agony, and she shut him up by cutting his throat.
By the time she got to her side, Iona was dead, her beautiful turquoise eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. The bolt had almost certainly pierced her heart. Oh Maker, Erika thought, No, no, this has to be a nightmare. She pulled Iona into her arms, and gently closed the elf woman’s eyes.
“Erika!” A woman’s voice exclaimed from the hall, then Eleanor ran into the room and gasped to see her nude, blood spattered daughter cradling Lady Landra’s lady-in-waiting - a crossbow bolt stood out obscenely from the elf woman’s chest. There were tears running freely down Erika’s face.
“Erika!” Eleanor exclaimed, and came to kneel beside her daughter, “What happened?”
“Iona saved my life,” Erika said, turning her tear and blood streaked face to look at her mother, “Oh Maker, they killed her.”
“Erika,” Eleanor said, putting a gentle hand on her daughter’s shoulder, “Oh darling, I’m so sorry,” she gave that shoulder a squeeze, “But we’re under attack, we need to get to safety, you’re going to have to leave her here.”
“I know,” Erika said, closing her eyes briefly as a sob tore through her, she glanced back at the dead men, and took note of the device on the swordman’s shield. It was Arl Howe’s. “Why would Howe do this?” she asked as she gently lowered the elf woman’s corpse to the ground and stood up. Her mother was wearing splint armour and had a mace hanging from her belt, and a shield slung within easy reach across her back.
“I don’t know,” Eleanor answered as she followed her daughter into her bedroom, “I don’t even know where your father is, he said he was staying up to discuss some last minute details with the Arl… You don’t suppose…?”
“Maker I hope not!” Erika exclaimed as she began to dress as quickly as she could. She didn’t bother to put a full suit of armour on, just the cuirass, boots, and gauntlets. She sheathed her daggers on her belt, and took her bow down from the weapons rack, stringing it. She slung the quiver over her shoulder, and looked at her mother.
“We should check on Oriana and Oren,” Eleanor said, “Their door was closed, but…”
Erika looked at her mother darkly, then strode out into the hallway.
The rest of the night was full of fire, and death, and blood. Oriana and her son were both dead, as was Lady Landra. Dairren was nowhere to be seen, and as they fought their way first to the treasury to retrieve the family sword, and then to the larder to find the Teyrn, she never saw any sign of the young man. Duncan, the Grey Warden, had managed to get a mortally wounded Bryce Cousland to the larder, and offered to help get Eleanor and Erika both to safety once they had arrived. Eleanor would have none of that, and insisted on being left behind to ensure her daughter had enough time to escape. But Duncan’s help came at a cost, he demanded that Erika join the Grey Wardens. At first Erika refused, but her father pleaded with her. In the end, Erika could not refuse him, she could see that his arguments were not merely the emotional arguments of a dying man who wished to see his daughter safe. And so she decided to travel with Duncan down to Ostegar, there to join the wardens, and there to watch all but two of their order perish due to the treachery of Teyrn Loghain Mac Tir.
**
Erika sobbed into Leliana’s shoulder as the bard held her and comforted her, rubbing her back gently. The pain was still so sharp, even though a few weeks had passed since that terrible night.
“I am not going to say it’s all right,” Leliana told her softly as Erika’s sobs slowed, “Because I well know it is not. But it will get better, Erika, trust me,”
“I…” Erika began, pulling away from Leliana, “I know it will, but Maker it hurts. I… I think I loved her.”
“I know you did,” Leliana said, with a slight smile, “And I am sure she loved you back. But all you can do is put it behind you for now. I am sure, somehow, that in our journeys you will gain your revenge on Arl Howe, and you will have justice for Iona.”
“I certainly hope so,” Erika said, then yawned widely.
“Go and sleep Erika,” Leliana said, “You need it desperately. I will keep watch.” Erika almost heard the unspoken, I will keep you safe. And she realized that Leliana really would do exactly that. She had her suspicions about the woman’s past, but she knew, somehow, that she could absolutely trust her.
“I know you will,” Erika said, “Thank you, Leliana.”
She had no nightmares that night.