Isseki, Nichou [Oneshot, YaMae]
D2 Family!fic :D If you don't know about D2 Family, click here for a full explanation! (Make sure to read part 2, too)
Basically this is really silly :O
Title: 一石二鳥
Characters/Pairing: Yamada Yuuki, Maeyama Takahisa, Nishii Yukito, Akutsu Shintarou/YaMae
Rating/Warnings: G/RPS, stupid Gokaiger references.
Word Count: ~1200
Summary: Mae-chan is all about solving problems people don't even know they have.
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一石二鳥
"Isseki, Nichou"
Yamada Yuuki tossed his bag down and flopped into the nearest empty chair. He glanced over at Yukkii, who was lying on the couch with his head on Shin-chan’s lap watching TV, and sighed loudly. When he didn’t get a reaction, he did it again, louder.
“What’s wrong, Yuuki-nii-chan?” Yukkii said tiredly, not taking his eyes off the screen. Yuuki couldn’t blame him for not paying more attention - it was One Piece, and therefore far more interesting than his problems.
But at the same time, he totally did because he was depressed and wanted attention.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I was just thinking, kids are lucky. You can lie all over each other and nobody thinks anything of it. But when you’re an adult, you so much as save your buddy from evil space villains and suddenly everyone thinks you’re gay!”
“Yuuki-nii-chan, you’re dating Mae-nii-chan. You are gay.”
“Mouuu,” Yuuki whined. “Not for Ryouta, though!”
Mae-chan came out of the kitchen and handed Yuuki a cup of coffee before taking a seat in the chair next to him. “You sure? It’s hard to tell sometimes,” he said with just a hint of bitterness.
Yuuki took Mae-chan’s hand and held it against his chest. “You know that all I truly love is you. And Gundam.”
Mae-chan was not impressed. “Yeah, sure. If you’re so satisfied with me and giant robots, how come you spend five hours a day saying things like ‘I will be at your side forever’ and throwing yourself into that guy’s arms?”
Yuuki dropped Mae-chan’s hand and took a sip of coffee gloomily, or tried to, anyway. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning as he reached for a napkin. “You make the best coffee, Takahisa.”
“You’re trying to distract me with compliments, Yuuki.”
“But it’s true. Just like how your eyes are so beautiful and round like Choco-Balls, and how you have the best fashion sense out of everyone in the world besides my mom.”
“Like I haven’t heard that before,” Mae-chan grumbled, turning away so that Yuuki couldn’t see that he was smiling.
“Then, have I ever told you that you’re so cute when your nose gets sunburned like this? It’s like a delicious slice of watermelon sticking out of your face~” Yuuki kissed the tip of Mae-chan’s nose.
Mae-chan batted his eyes at Yuuki and wiggled shyly. “Awww, Yuuki, that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me… not!” He smacked Yuuki on the shoulder. “What the heck! Is that even a compliment?”
“Yes?” Yuuki said hopefully. Mae-chan frowned.
“It’s your fault, anyway. You know, I don’t mind sitting out in bazillion degree heat all day with a bunch of four-year-olds watching you run around in spandex punching guys in dinosaur costumes in the face, but couldn’t you cut back on the homoerotic undertones a bit?”
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about, our two characters are best friends since like forever-”
“Dude, there are all these geeky girls that go to your shows because they hope that someday the two of you will make out. Did you miss them kyaa-ing over the part where you guys stared meaningfully into each other’s eyes, or were you still deaf from the screaming they did when he said, ‘You are the only one I truly need’ in that super meaningful tone of voice?” Yuuki looked indignant and opened his mouth to respond. Mae-chan held out his hands defensively. “I’m just saying, it’s kinda gay.”
“It’s totally gay,” Yukkii and Shin-chan chimed in.
Yuuki made a face like a fish that had suddenly found itself launched into outer space. “…Yeah, I guess it is kinda gay,” he admitted.
Mae-chan patted him on the shoulder. “There, there. Admitting it is the first step to fixing it.”
“But howwww do we fix it?” Yuuki grabbed Mae-chan and shook him back and forth. “We can’t change the plot or anything, we can’t! Last time Kazuki got mad about how his character was such a loser all the time, we had to pretend the bad guys kidnapped him because Mao kicked him so hard he was out for a week.”
Mae-chan looked alarmed, but quickly calmed down. “What if we suggest changing the plot to something she’d like?”
“Like what?”
“Like…” Mae-chan looked around for inspiration and fixed on the television. “Like that,” he said, pointing at the screen. Hawkeye Mihawk was staring down the Straw Hats, looking like his gaze alone was enough to send them to the depths of the ocean.
“Like grow mustaches? I don’t-”
“No, like a cool rival! You have bad guys, but they’re all stupid and boring. So you bring in a new character who’ll be your rival!”
“Ohhh. Do you think a new character like that will make it less gay, though?”
Mae-chan thought hard. “No,” he said eventually. “It will make it even gayer. But… if it was me, it wouldn’t matter?”
Yuuki jumped up. “You’re a genius!!” He pulled Mae-chan to his feet and kissed him hard. (Yukkii and Shin-chan made gagging sounds.) He drew back. “But… I thought you didn’t want to be in any of our plays anymore?”
Mae-chan looked unhappy but determined. “If it’s a choice between that and watching you make out with some dude in front of a bunch of preschoolers…”
“Why do you love me so much?”
“I love how you compare my facial features to fruits.”
“Is that so? Well then, my beautiful banana-browed boy, shall we get your sweet boysenberry brain working out the details of this new villain?”
“He can’t get hurt,” Mae-chan said immediately. “He has to be so cool that he just escapes without getting beaten up.” He thought for a second. “And he should have an awesome hat.”
“Oh!” Yukkii said immediately. “He should have a funny feathery boa like Doflamingo.”
“And a monkey!” Shin-chan added. “All good villains have pet monkeys.”
“A monkey…” Mae-chan mused. “…That’s it, the monkey can get beat up instead of me! I gotta write this down…” He dashed off and Yuuki followed slowly, stopping to retrieve his mug.
He winked at Yukkii and Shin-chan. “Remember, kids, always date someone who wants to be with you even if it means dressing up like a combination of a bunch of One Piece characters. And it helps if they’re hot, too.” The two nodded solemnly and went back to watching TV. Yuuki started whistling a jaunty tune, retrieved his bag, and headed upstairs.
At commercial break, Shin-chan stopped stroking Yukkii’s hair and said thoughtfully, “If I made you dress up like Luffy and Usopp and Chopper all at the same time, would you still watch TV with me every day?”
Yukkii stuck out his tongue. “Can it be Zoro instead of Usopp? I want swords.”
Shin-chan giggled in response. “Good, that means I can date you, then.”
“Okay,” Yukkii said with a smile. “But I won’t date you unless you dress up as Ace and Nico Robin and Sanji and Nami.” Shin frowned. “Oh, and you always get really cold in the winter, so I’ll only date you in the summer.”
“Well, maybe I won’t date you at all then!” Shin said, and pouted. If he wasn’t dating him, how on earth was he going to make him cosplay all the time? He hoped Yuuki-nii-chan would tell him next time, if he wasn't too busy with kissing Mae-nii-chan and things.
--
In Family-verse!Gokai, Mae-chan is Basco :| Comments on this incredibly silly piece of fiction would be of course appreciated :D!!!
Basically this is really silly :O
Title: 一石二鳥
Characters/Pairing: Yamada Yuuki, Maeyama Takahisa, Nishii Yukito, Akutsu Shintarou/YaMae
Rating/Warnings: G/RPS, stupid Gokaiger references.
Word Count: ~1200
Summary: Mae-chan is all about solving problems people don't even know they have.
--
一石二鳥
"Isseki, Nichou"
Yamada Yuuki tossed his bag down and flopped into the nearest empty chair. He glanced over at Yukkii, who was lying on the couch with his head on Shin-chan’s lap watching TV, and sighed loudly. When he didn’t get a reaction, he did it again, louder.
“What’s wrong, Yuuki-nii-chan?” Yukkii said tiredly, not taking his eyes off the screen. Yuuki couldn’t blame him for not paying more attention - it was One Piece, and therefore far more interesting than his problems.
But at the same time, he totally did because he was depressed and wanted attention.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I was just thinking, kids are lucky. You can lie all over each other and nobody thinks anything of it. But when you’re an adult, you so much as save your buddy from evil space villains and suddenly everyone thinks you’re gay!”
“Yuuki-nii-chan, you’re dating Mae-nii-chan. You are gay.”
“Mouuu,” Yuuki whined. “Not for Ryouta, though!”
Mae-chan came out of the kitchen and handed Yuuki a cup of coffee before taking a seat in the chair next to him. “You sure? It’s hard to tell sometimes,” he said with just a hint of bitterness.
Yuuki took Mae-chan’s hand and held it against his chest. “You know that all I truly love is you. And Gundam.”
Mae-chan was not impressed. “Yeah, sure. If you’re so satisfied with me and giant robots, how come you spend five hours a day saying things like ‘I will be at your side forever’ and throwing yourself into that guy’s arms?”
Yuuki dropped Mae-chan’s hand and took a sip of coffee gloomily, or tried to, anyway. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning as he reached for a napkin. “You make the best coffee, Takahisa.”
“You’re trying to distract me with compliments, Yuuki.”
“But it’s true. Just like how your eyes are so beautiful and round like Choco-Balls, and how you have the best fashion sense out of everyone in the world besides my mom.”
“Like I haven’t heard that before,” Mae-chan grumbled, turning away so that Yuuki couldn’t see that he was smiling.
“Then, have I ever told you that you’re so cute when your nose gets sunburned like this? It’s like a delicious slice of watermelon sticking out of your face~” Yuuki kissed the tip of Mae-chan’s nose.
Mae-chan batted his eyes at Yuuki and wiggled shyly. “Awww, Yuuki, that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me… not!” He smacked Yuuki on the shoulder. “What the heck! Is that even a compliment?”
“Yes?” Yuuki said hopefully. Mae-chan frowned.
“It’s your fault, anyway. You know, I don’t mind sitting out in bazillion degree heat all day with a bunch of four-year-olds watching you run around in spandex punching guys in dinosaur costumes in the face, but couldn’t you cut back on the homoerotic undertones a bit?”
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about, our two characters are best friends since like forever-”
“Dude, there are all these geeky girls that go to your shows because they hope that someday the two of you will make out. Did you miss them kyaa-ing over the part where you guys stared meaningfully into each other’s eyes, or were you still deaf from the screaming they did when he said, ‘You are the only one I truly need’ in that super meaningful tone of voice?” Yuuki looked indignant and opened his mouth to respond. Mae-chan held out his hands defensively. “I’m just saying, it’s kinda gay.”
“It’s totally gay,” Yukkii and Shin-chan chimed in.
Yuuki made a face like a fish that had suddenly found itself launched into outer space. “…Yeah, I guess it is kinda gay,” he admitted.
Mae-chan patted him on the shoulder. “There, there. Admitting it is the first step to fixing it.”
“But howwww do we fix it?” Yuuki grabbed Mae-chan and shook him back and forth. “We can’t change the plot or anything, we can’t! Last time Kazuki got mad about how his character was such a loser all the time, we had to pretend the bad guys kidnapped him because Mao kicked him so hard he was out for a week.”
Mae-chan looked alarmed, but quickly calmed down. “What if we suggest changing the plot to something she’d like?”
“Like what?”
“Like…” Mae-chan looked around for inspiration and fixed on the television. “Like that,” he said, pointing at the screen. Hawkeye Mihawk was staring down the Straw Hats, looking like his gaze alone was enough to send them to the depths of the ocean.
“Like grow mustaches? I don’t-”
“No, like a cool rival! You have bad guys, but they’re all stupid and boring. So you bring in a new character who’ll be your rival!”
“Ohhh. Do you think a new character like that will make it less gay, though?”
Mae-chan thought hard. “No,” he said eventually. “It will make it even gayer. But… if it was me, it wouldn’t matter?”
Yuuki jumped up. “You’re a genius!!” He pulled Mae-chan to his feet and kissed him hard. (Yukkii and Shin-chan made gagging sounds.) He drew back. “But… I thought you didn’t want to be in any of our plays anymore?”
Mae-chan looked unhappy but determined. “If it’s a choice between that and watching you make out with some dude in front of a bunch of preschoolers…”
“Why do you love me so much?”
“I love how you compare my facial features to fruits.”
“Is that so? Well then, my beautiful banana-browed boy, shall we get your sweet boysenberry brain working out the details of this new villain?”
“He can’t get hurt,” Mae-chan said immediately. “He has to be so cool that he just escapes without getting beaten up.” He thought for a second. “And he should have an awesome hat.”
“Oh!” Yukkii said immediately. “He should have a funny feathery boa like Doflamingo.”
“And a monkey!” Shin-chan added. “All good villains have pet monkeys.”
“A monkey…” Mae-chan mused. “…That’s it, the monkey can get beat up instead of me! I gotta write this down…” He dashed off and Yuuki followed slowly, stopping to retrieve his mug.
He winked at Yukkii and Shin-chan. “Remember, kids, always date someone who wants to be with you even if it means dressing up like a combination of a bunch of One Piece characters. And it helps if they’re hot, too.” The two nodded solemnly and went back to watching TV. Yuuki started whistling a jaunty tune, retrieved his bag, and headed upstairs.
At commercial break, Shin-chan stopped stroking Yukkii’s hair and said thoughtfully, “If I made you dress up like Luffy and Usopp and Chopper all at the same time, would you still watch TV with me every day?”
Yukkii stuck out his tongue. “Can it be Zoro instead of Usopp? I want swords.”
Shin-chan giggled in response. “Good, that means I can date you, then.”
“Okay,” Yukkii said with a smile. “But I won’t date you unless you dress up as Ace and Nico Robin and Sanji and Nami.” Shin frowned. “Oh, and you always get really cold in the winter, so I’ll only date you in the summer.”
“Well, maybe I won’t date you at all then!” Shin said, and pouted. If he wasn’t dating him, how on earth was he going to make him cosplay all the time? He hoped Yuuki-nii-chan would tell him next time, if he wasn't too busy with kissing Mae-nii-chan and things.
--
In Family-verse!Gokai, Mae-chan is Basco :| Comments on this incredibly silly piece of fiction would be of course appreciated :D!!!