Fuck
So here I am. Fuck. Maybe, I dont know why, Im in such a terrible mood. I had a good morning. I whent and ate breakfast. That was fun. Sadly, the food did not settle right. Nothing I eat lately has been. Maybe its the end of the quarter stress thats getting me. I dont know. On the whole, Im usually quite a happy person.
God knows, not lately.
So food doesn't settle right. Nor does anything else. NOTHING. God damn it. I blame it all on my decision making abilities. I'm the one that makes these bad decisions that make me so unhappy. Even if it is only a temporary sadness, I hate it. Fuck, Im the one that chose the wrong school, got in with the wrong friends, took the wrong job, and fell in love with the wrong people.
These are my regrets.
I dont know if even two of you will read this, let alone, care, and let alone respond to this. And granted, and this point, I may not even give a fuck.
Why should I give a fuck. I've wasted enough of my time sitting around for the last who knows how long waiting for the unatainable. Things that you think make sense, things that make you happy. You hold these things so close, but in their mind, your as important as what they ate for lunch three days ago. Your unimportance is validated. You never pass go, you never collect two hundred dollars, and you certainly never fucking win.
Can please have the validation? Can I just know where things are? Can I know how to feel? Can I know how you feel? What am I doing wrong? Why are you scared? Why am I scared? Am I wasting my time? Do I proceed? Do I just light this love letter on fire and send the ashes to the wind?
God knows, not lately.
So food doesn't settle right. Nor does anything else. NOTHING. God damn it. I blame it all on my decision making abilities. I'm the one that makes these bad decisions that make me so unhappy. Even if it is only a temporary sadness, I hate it. Fuck, Im the one that chose the wrong school, got in with the wrong friends, took the wrong job, and fell in love with the wrong people.
These are my regrets.
I dont know if even two of you will read this, let alone, care, and let alone respond to this. And granted, and this point, I may not even give a fuck.
Why should I give a fuck. I've wasted enough of my time sitting around for the last who knows how long waiting for the unatainable. Things that you think make sense, things that make you happy. You hold these things so close, but in their mind, your as important as what they ate for lunch three days ago. Your unimportance is validated. You never pass go, you never collect two hundred dollars, and you certainly never fucking win.
Can please have the validation? Can I just know where things are? Can I know how to feel? Can I know how you feel? What am I doing wrong? Why are you scared? Why am I scared? Am I wasting my time? Do I proceed? Do I just light this love letter on fire and send the ashes to the wind?