sometimes you picture me, i'm walking too far ahead
SO it's like he's the only electrical current in the state ..or maybe in the whole world. and i just flicker and flicker until i burn out, because that's what happens to things that are outdated. i wonder if he's found someone new to lock eyes with and differentiate the good and evil in the world, and how isolation is their only hope, or how running away with only eachother in mind is the cure. that was my medicine for awhile, it aided my watery eyes and negitivity towards something i never cared to understand. i wonder, i wonder about his voice, if it's still the same, or if he chances his tones with the more drugs he does. i wonder if his life is a nightmare, and i wonder why i can't leave this alone, why does it run freely in my head? i bet he hides behind smiles, or something as equally fake. he's just a blurry image in my head now, i want to remember the lines in his face, i want to rememeber him. i'm a bad person for feeling this way, for cursing his acceptance of me not being in his life, i'm also a very stupid person for this, since he never accepted me into his life at all. F THIS.
"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door."
"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door."