Panophobia - Kingdom Hearts
I've had this idea for, oh, a few months now, and I've finally decided to post it. So, here's the first chapter!
Panophobia - The fear of everything
Cleisiophobia - Fear of being locked in an enclosed place
“Sora, I think I heard something in the closet!” the little blond boy called out softly to his brother on the other end of the room. The young brunette merely groaned weakly in acknowledgment, not giving any further response to his brother. Then, a small sound almost too soft to hear echoed throughout the room once more as the blond boy glanced nervously from his brother to the closet door. He got up from his bed quietly, and he swiftly moved to his brother’s side, shaking him softly to make him wake.
“Sora, please, I think there’s something in there!” he whispered harshly in his ear, tears threatening to spill from his bright blue eyes. Sora only rolled over to face his twin fully and looked at him with glassy eyes, sleep keeping him from properly waking, and he blinked tiredly. The blond boy let out a whimper as he turned back to look at the door again. His blue eyes widened as he saw the door open even farther before he scrambled out of the room, abandoning the thought of trying to wake his twin. As he ran out the door, he tripped on the raised rug that had been pulled up by the cat, and the sound of his fall finally woke his twin with a start. Sora shot up, surprised by the loud thump of his brother and he managed to catch a glimpse of Roxas passing their older brother’s door and prying open their parents’.
“Roxas, no!” he whispered as loud as he could. It obviously didn’t stop his brother, and so Sora scrambled out of his own bed to try and stop his twin from waking their parents. But Sora was too late, as Roxas had already made his way to the frame of the door and he was clinging to it as if it would comfort him.
A small stream of light from the hallway broke the darkness of his parents’ room as he slipped inside, Sora staying in the hallway behind him. He heard an angry growl come from the bed as the peaceful darkness was destroyed. Roxas cowered next to the door for a moment, creeping slowly up to the side of the bed. He froze in place though as he heard Sora’s small footsteps out in the hallway and he saw the figure rise up from the large bed.
“Roxas, what the hell are you doing?” the man raged at the young boy. Roxas stuttered for a moment, cowering below his father’s anger, and he was not able to form a reasonable excuse for the angry man.
“Never mind that,” he said with an angry sigh, “I don’t care why you’re up, and whatever it is, it’s just something your skinny ass made up. Now go. To. Bed! You too Sora!” The brunette in the hall squeaked softly as he was recognized as Roxas darted out of the room, closing the large door quickly behind him. He was breathing heavily and he looked quiet pale, tears in his brilliant blue eyes once more. Sora looked over his twin sadly for a moment before wrapping his arms around his brother’s small frame.
“It’s alright Roxas, Dad’s right, you were probably imagining it!” Sora tried to console his brother, but the tears were already spilling down his cheeks. He shook his head quickly, the blond spikes flying.
“No, Sora, I saw something! It was a monster or something else scary like that! It was in the closet and-” Roxas was shushed by his brother as they passed their elder brother’s room, both of them knowing it would be even worse than their father if he woke up. They made their way back into their shared room, hand in hand and Sora closed the door and flipped on the light. He moved over to his brother’s bed where Roxas had dashed to as soon as they entered the room and the light was on. Sora hopped up onto the bed next to his brother and let the blond cling to his arm for comfort. The five year old twins sat in a strange quiet for a few moments, trying to shake off the feeling of fear their father gave them, and Roxas was also trying his hardest to ignore the closet across the way.
“I-I was just so scared, and you wouldn’t w-wake up Sora!” Roxas cried softly, scared of being any louder than a whisper, lest any of the monsters dwelling in his house hear. Sora stroked his hair slowly, feeling bad for his brother, but he didn’t know what to do for him other that hold him so he wouldn’t get scared again.
They sat in the silence of their room; the only sound was Roxas’ small hiccups and sniffles as he tried to stop crying on his slightly older twin. Sora was only older by about fifteen minutes, but he sometimes acted like he was fifteen years old. He cared for his younger twin and made sure that he was safe and happy. As the elder of the two, it was his job to care for Roxas, but it was hard sometimes because they were usually left for themselves, and so Sora had to care for his younger brother and himself.
Their parents were either always working or in a very bad mood, and so they rarely had time with them. And their older brother Cloud was what their father expected to become a ‘no good, angst-ridded, good-for-nothing, back-talking, fecking lazy teenager’, so they didn’t see too much of the twelve year old when he was in a good mood.
Roxas had calmed down by then, apologizing to Sora softly as he let go of his arm and sat up straight next to his brother. The two five year olds were silent, just taking in the quiet of their room and the soft creaking of the house in the blowing wind outside.
“So, what did you see, Rox?” Sora asked his brother softly, finally coming to realize he had no idea what made his brother so scared. Roxas sniffed softly for a minute, collecting his thoughts. He turned to Sora, glancing over his shoulder at the closet fearfully every once in awhile.
“I saw a monster,” Roxas whispered with his head ducked down, as if he were telling a ghost story. “It was trying to open the closet door. That was the noise that woke me up, Sor. It was trying to eat me, and then it probably would’ve eaten you too!”
Sora gasped, genuinely interested and shocked at his brother’s story now. Monsters were big news, especially if they were in a closet in your own very house!
“You really think it would’ve had room to eat me too Rox?” Sora asked softly, wondering how big this monster had to have been.
“Yeah! It would’ve eaten both of us right up! We wouldn’t have had a chance,” Roxas said forlornly. “But I got up before it got out of the closet and we both got out of the room, so it had no choice but to go back in!” Roxas said with a watery smile.
“Whoa…” Sora said, both of them going quiet for a moment, mulling over that story. “Ya’ know, Rox? I bet I could’ve taken that monster! No matter how big it was or how fast it could eat us up!” Sora said with confidence, jumping to his feet and bending down to scoop up his wooden sword from the floor and he held it over his shoulder in confidence.
“Seriously Sora? You think so?” Roxas asked, amazed that his brother could fend off a scary monster like that.
Sora just nodded in agreement, showing his brother how tough he was. Roxas looked down at the floor, wondering if he could ever be as brave as his brother, and he suddenly smiled when he saw his own play sword. His bright blue struggle bat was lying on the floor, sticking out just slightly from underneath his bed. He stood up quickly, grabbing it from the floor and they both held their play-swords over their shoulders, smiling brightly at each other.
They shared a similar thought in that moment and nodded to each other, both cautiously making their ways towards their closet in question. They made as little noise as possible as they made their way over to the slightly ajar door. Both of the five year olds gulped nervously, but neither of them stopped until they both reached the door.
Sora reached for the handle first, grasping the cold metal knob tightly. He took a deep breath and threw the door open, rattling the wood on its hinges as it hit the doorstopper. They couldn’t see inside since it was so dark, so Roxas quickly grabbed a flashlight and shined it inside.
Inside the closet was - nothing. Nothing living at least, since the closet was inhabited by hangers and clothes. But neither of the twins was discouraged, and they just figured that the monster was hiding deep inside their closet. Roxas moved inside first, holding the flashlight in one small hand, and his struggle bat was outstretched in the other.
Roxas couldn’t stop himself from shaking as he stepped forward into the unknown, and he figured that the monster had either gone away, or was just very good at hiding. He searched all over inside, but all he found were clothes. He jumped suddenly when he thought he saw a shadow move toward the door, and he whipped around as fast as he could.
The next thing that Roxas saw was Sora’s worried face and the closet door slamming shut in his face. Roxas’s eyes grew wide and his heart rate quickened drastically. He didn’t know whether he should move or stay still, so he just stood shaking for a moment in the scary walk-in closet.
“S-S-S-Sora?” Roxas called, shaking uncontrollably. He waited a moment for his brother to open the door and smile at him jokingly, which Roxas would then pounce on him and shout for him to never do that again.
But Sora didn’t open the door. Roxas didn’t hear anything other than his own terrified breathing. He suddenly rushed forward towards the door, grasping the knob and trying to turn it to be set free of this awful place.
“Sora! This isn’t funny! Let me out!” Roxas yelled banging his fists on the door repeatedly, tears starting to well up in his eyes again. He started breathing faster and faster as if he were running for his life and the closet seemed to start spinning.
“SORA!” Roxas shouted, now clawing at the door, his bat and flashlight completely forgotten on the floor. He was hyperventilating and tears were running down his cheeks constantly. He couldn’t breathe; he couldn’t do anything but try to get out.
Roxas was starting to feel dizzy when he thought he saw someone else’s hand reach above his crouching form and turn the knob as if it was the easiest thing in the world. He suddenly saw the door open up to show the light of his bedroom before him and the next thing he knew, he was tumbling out of his closet, the door swinging shut behind him.
Roxas could breathe again, and he could finally wipe the tears from his eyes, but he didn’t see Sora in front of him. Where was his brother? He searched the room frantically, and his eyes landed on Sora’s bed.
There he was, lying there asleep as if nothing had happened, and he hadn’t woken up at all. Roxas was about to march over to him and forcefully wake him again, but he stopped short when he saw something next to Sora’s bed. There was a shadowed mass crouching next to his brother’s bed, facing away from Roxas at the moment.
His eyes widened as the shadowy figure turned its head around to look right at Roxas threateningly. Roxas wanted to start shouting so he could maybe scare it off; it was going to eat his brother! But Roxas was so scared that he couldn’t move a muscle, and his jaw locked in place. As he stood frozen though, he noticed that it was not attacking his brother, but simply…protecting him? It was stroking the sleeping Sora’s hair gently, as if it were lulling him to sleep. The figure stood and turned the rest of its shadowed body, showing itself to Roxas before turning back to the wall and disappearing into the rest of the shadows.
Roxas stood there silently, not knowing what he should do. He couldn’t stop his shaking, and the tears were still trailing down his cheeks, but he felt frozen now. He began wondering if he had just dreamed all of it, but he could still feel the tears on his wet cheeks and he knew he couldn’t dream that intense stare. The figure looked like a teenaged boy with long, slightly spiky hair, but his entire body, except for his eyes, was made out of a dark black and blue willowy shadow substance. His eyes were the one thing that really stood out to Roxas; they were just glowing spots, tinted with an aquamarine color, and they had bore into the five year olds soul.
What that thing was, Roxas couldn’t even begin guessing, but he knew that it obviously liked Sora, and it didn’t want to eat either of them up. It couldn’t have been the monster that was in his closet though, because it was supposed to be really big with huge claws and teeth. He didn’t know where it came from, or why it had the appearance of a teenage boy, but it was strange and unusual.
Roxas heard a small noise behind him and turned around slowly, hoping with his every fiber of being that it wasn’t the monster again. He expected the monster to be looming over him, teeth and claws just waiting to snatch him up. But when he turned around, all Roxas saw was his flashlight and struggle bat leaning casually against the closet door, as if they had been there all along.
He turned back around quickly, knowing that he had left them in the closet when he tumbled out, but he didn’t dare question it. He was too frightened to, and he decided on just silently thanking whoever had returned his favorite struggle bat and his flashlight.
Roxas made his way back to his own bed cautiously, crawling under the sheets and blankets and curling up into an almost fetal position. He only then realized how tired he actually was, and he felt himself slowly drifting into sleep. But the last thing he thought of before losing himself in the land of dreams was that the hand he thought he saw in the closet was exactly like the strange boy’s entire body was; shadowed and mysterious.
-.:.-
Polyphobia - Fear of many things
“Sora, I’m not too sure about this…” Roxas said softly as they sat in their sixth grade English classroom, both of them now eleven years old. It was their first year in middle school, and they had to transfer to a school across town since their neighborhood middle school was full. They had been given a beginning of the year assignment to interview a partner and learn all about them so they could be introduced to the class. Roxas and Sora were partners, obviously, and Sora had immediately volunteered Roxas to be the one who would be interviewed first.
“Oh it’ll be great Rox! Don’t worry,” Sora said with a smile as he wrote their names at the top of the piece of paper that their teacher had handed out. Each of the students was to fill out a chart for one another, focusing on a topic of their choice. Sora tapped the pencil to his bottom lip for a moment, wondering what their topic should be for Roxas.
“Hm, what should our topic be? Do you have any ideas, Rox?” Sora asked his brother with a smile. Roxas answered him by letting his head drop onto his desk and he let out a groan, not liking this project one bit.
Sora pouted at his brother’s reaction and opened his mouth to say something, when he was interrupted by they bell signaling that it was time for lunch. Sora smiled and hopped up out of his seat, stuffing his things into his bag and running around to his brother’s across from him. He yanked Roxas up to shove his things into his bag as well and practically started dragging him out of the classroom.
“C’mon Rox! If we don’t get there soon, the line will get too long!” Sora cried, finally getting his brother to stand up straight so they could rush down the hallways of their middle school.
They made it into the lunch room, Sora whispering a small prayer that the line wasn’t too long, and he instantly smiled as soon as he saw that his wish had come true. He dragged Roxas up to the end of the line, practically bouncing around while chanting something like ‘Yay for food, its delicious!’ under his breath.
Roxas rolled his eyes at his brother and looked around the room, trying to find somewhere that they could sit once they got their lunches. The tables weren’t too crowded just yet, and so there were plenty of spots that they could take if it didn’t take too much time to get their lunches.
While Roxas was looking around for a good spot, his eyes met with piercing aquamarine ones and he instantly shuddered inside. He saw bleary flashes of far off memories in his mind of moving shadows and aquamarine eyes as the boy he had made contact with smiled at him before sitting down next to a red-headed girl.
“Oh, Roxas, did you see somewhere we can sit? I hope we can make some new friends this year! I’m so excited, aren’t you?” Sora was bouncing around happily, his brunette spikes flying all over the place. Roxas decided to stop his search for empty seats to listen to his brother until they got their lunches.
They each got a sandwich with fries and a drink, Roxas being the only one of the two to actually stop at the salad bar. Sora waited for his brother, chatting excitedly as they searched for a place to sit. Roxas looked around, seeing a few good places they could sit, but he didn’t know where would be best.
He saw a group of older looking kids all talking and laughing with each other, but they looked pretty exclusive. Sora pointed out the table with the red-headed girl and the boy with aquamarine eyes, but Roxas wasn’t so sure he wanted to sit with him there. But when a trio of kids that looked their age sat with them, it didn’t seem so bad to try anymore.
“C’mon Sora, let’s see if we can sit there,” Roxas said softly as he started over to that table. Sora was practically skipping along behind him and when they got up to the table he decided to make it a typical Sora entrance. Roxas just sighed softly and waited for his headache to begin.
“Hello! Can we join you guys?” Sora asked, almost shattering Roxas’s eardrum. The trio and the red head all nodded politely, but the creepy-eyed boy grinned at Sora, practically demanding they sit. It kind of scared Roxas with how enthusiastic he was, but he didn’t comment as he sat down next to his brother. A moment later, a pale girl with white blonde hair sat down next to Roxas with a small smile.
“So, what’re your names?” Sora asked in between bites of his sandwich. Roxas rolled his eyes at his brother’s antics but he made sure to listen to their introductions.
“I’m Olette, and those two knuckleheads are Pence and Hayner,” the brunette said with a smile as she pointed to the other blond boy and the slightly larger boy, who were busy having an eating contest.
“I’m Naminé, and this is my sister Kairi,” the girl next to Roxas introduced with a wave as she motioned to her red headed sister, who also waved.
“I’m Riku,” the boy with aquamarine eyes said with a smirk directed towards Sora.
“What’re your names?” Olette asked politely. Sora and Roxas looked at each other momentarily before turning back to the others.
“We’re Roxas and Sora,” they said in unison, “And we’re twins.” Sora grinned after they finished their small show of twin telepathy while Roxas just rolled his eyes and chuckled.
The others at the table were wowed by their performance for a moment, expressing how cool they thought that was, and how they wished they had a twin too.
“So, who’s who? Who’s Roxas and who’s Sora?” Pence asked, wiping his mouth as he finished his food first, Hayner cursing silently as he had one last bite left.
They were about to answer, but surprisingly they were interrupted by Riku, who was still smirking lightly at Sora.
“Sora’s the brunette, Roxas is the blond,” he said as if it was the easiest thing in the world for him to figure out. The twins were taken aback for a moment before Riku explained. “I’m really good at logic puzzles and putting names to faces.”
Everyone who knew him beforehand nodded in agreement, but the twins still sat there stunned for a moment. Sora was the first to shake it off, and he quickly threw himself into the conversation, Roxas hanging back like usual. As his brother chatted with the others, Roxas finished his food and left to go put his tray back up in the kitchen.
He set it on the counter and turned quickly to return to his brother’s side but he turned just a bit too quickly and ran into a dark-haired girl. They both wobbled as they shouted in surprise, Roxas reaching out to catch her before either of them fell.
“Sorry about that! I didn’t see you there,” Roxas apologized quickly, giving her a small smile. The girl laughed softly, muttering something about her own clumsiness before she righted herself and set her tray on the counter as well.
“It’s alright; I didn’t see you there either!” She said with a smile as they both started to go back to their own seats. Before they parted ways, she turned to Roxas with a smile, holding out her hand to shake.
“I’m Xion,” she introduced herself with a smile as she grasped his hand in a firm handshake.
“Roxas…” he replied, almost at a loss of words at how forward she was. But he decided he liked her; she seemed different somehow.
“Well, it was nice to meet you Roxas,” she said as she released his hand, starting back to her table. “Maybe we’ll meet again sometime!” And with that she walked off.
Roxas went back to his own table, trying to make sure that he didn’t forget her name. She seemed like she could be a really great friend.
When he returned to his brother’s side, it didn’t seem as though he had missed much, so he just tried to understand some part of the conversation that was going on. Some of the kids in the group were talking about going to the zoo after school sometime this week, which made Roxas stiffen in fear.
“Do you guys want to come with?” Kairi asked with a smile, no one but Sora having noticed Roxas’s sudden change in posture. Sora chuckled nervously for a moment before scratching the back of his head.
“Well, um, you see…Uh, we don’t really like zoos,” Sora tried to explain casually while absently rubbing Roxas’s back, trying in vain to calm his brother down. Riku seemed to be the only one who noticed this and he started to stare at Roxas suspiciously.
“Why not, Sora? They just got this really cool new aquarium part of it!” Olette said excitedly.
“Oh yeah! And I heard that they’re planning on getting some otters in the zoo this week!” Naminé said with a smile as she thought about the cute creatures.
The rest of the group started chatting about how cool it was going to be now that they had made improvements. Roxas was shaking, the mere thought of-of those things made him want to retch. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t control his fear. He knew it reminded him of something, but he wasn’t sure what it could be, or why it made him so scared.
Since everyone was chatting happily, no one expected it when Roxas shot up out of his seat and sprinted out of the lunchroom. Sora stood up quickly after his brother darted out, trying to figure out what to do. Everyone was quiet, wondering what in the world happened to Roxas, and Sora apologized frantically before dashing after his twin.
“Roxas! Roxas, where are you?” Sora was searching through the halls of their new school, hoping that he wouldn’t get lost trying to find his younger twin. He started turning a corner that would lead to a hallway just passed the lunchroom, but he stopped short as he saw Roxas hiding behind a row of lockers, his arms curled around his knees.
“Oh, Rox…” Sora knelt down in front of his brother, pulling his form to his own in a tight hug. His brother was shaking uncontrollably as he tried to hold in his sobs.
“I-I’m sorry S-Sora…” Roxas said through his hiccups. But Sora simply shushed him telling him that it wasn’t his fault as he stroked his hair.
Roxas couldn’t stop himself from reacting this way, but he desperately wished that he could. There really was no reason for him to be so afraid of these things. And it wasn’t just what had him dashing out of the lunchroom; it was at least a dozen different things that he was unconditionally and uncontrollably afraid of.
They sat in the hallway for awhile, both of them trying to collect their thoughts as they just sat together in silence. Roxas faintly registered that he could still hear the loud chatter from the lunchroom, and he wondered if anyone from the table group had tried to come and look for them. After about five minutes of sitting in silence, Sora decided to speak up, shattering whatever false-comfort that had settled there.
“Hey Roxas, I think I found a really great topic for our project,” Sora said offhandedly, trying to calm his brother and distract him from his fear.
“Wha-what’s that?” Roxas asked as he wiped the tears from his eyes.
Sora looked at his younger brother with a hesitant smile before he moved his body so that he was sitting cross-legged in front of his upset brother. Sora just continued to smile at him for a moment before leaning in to tell him, as if it were a secret.
“We can do it on your phobias, and how we’re trying to get you not so afraid anymore!” Sora said happily.
Roxas just stared at him wide eyed for a moment, thinking that his brother had to have been joking, but Sora didn’t start laughing or falter in any way, so Roxas knew he must be serious. He was about to yell at his brother, completely ready to tell him off. He wanted to rant and rave about how stupid that was, and how it would never work, but he stopped himself before he could start the verbal assault. What if it did work? What if they could get Roxas to stop being so afraid? What would it hurt to try?
Roxas decided that it could actually work. It would be amazing if he wasn’t so afraid anymore, and he really couldn’t think of any way that it would hurt just to try.
“A-Alright Sora…We can try…” Roxas agreed softly, just before the bell rang to signal that classes were to start up once more.
-.-
“Okay Rox, first we should probably write out all of your phobias so that we know what we’re dealing with!” Sora said happily as they sat in study hall. Roxas shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Sora started labeling the sheet of paper with the title, ‘Roxas’s phobias’.
“Alright what’s first? I guess we can go alphabetically if you know it…” Sora said, completely aware that his brother had probably listed them in his mind in a certain way. Roxas always was a kind of perfectionist, and Sora was completely okay with that. He just sat in front of him, waiting patiently for his brother to start. Roxas nodded and began thinking of all his phobias.
“Well, I guess first would be Amychophobia…” he said softly, Sora looking at him in shock. “What?” he asked when he realized his brother was just staring at him, noticing that he didn’t write anything down.
“I didn’t think that you knew the names! I don’t even know how to spell that!” Sora said completely blown away by his brother. He shook his head offhandedly for a moment, trying to reason with himself that this was completely ‘Roxas-ish’. “Alright, what’s that a fear of?”
“It’s a fear of scratches or being scratched…which is why I never go near the cat anymore…” Roxas explained sadly, really missing the contact with his beloved pet. Sora wrote down the explanation before looking back up to his brother for the next.
“Um, then there’s Arachibutyrophobia, which is the fear of p-peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth…” Roxas said very softly, as if he was ashamed. Roxas despised his fears, and he knew that he was weak for having them, and having so many especially.
“Next would be Arachnophobia, the fear of spiders… and Atelophobia is after that, which is the fear of imperfection,” Roxas said, stopping to spell out the words for Sora to copy down perfectly. He winced slightly at the irony, but he didn’t comment on it.
Roxas went through them all. Athazagoraphobia, the fear of being forgotten, ignored, or forgetting. Catapedaphobia, the fear of jumping from high and low places. Cleisiophobia, the fear of being locked in an enclosed place. Ereuthrophobia, the fear of blushing.
When he got to Hippopoto-monstroses-quippedalio-phobia , the fear of long words, Roxas could not say it, even though he attempted to bout five times, all to no avail. In the end he just spelled it out and moved on. Hobophobia, the fear of bums or beggars, which Roxas was quite ashamed to admit, as well as confused, since he had only seen one hobo in town. Lutraphobia, the fear of otters which explained why he didn’t like zoos and left the lunchroom so quickly. Spheksophobia, the fear of wasps. And finally, Triskaidekaphobia, the fear of the number thirteen.
Sora wrote them all out, quite shocked at the number of phobias his brother had. He knew that Roxas had a lot of fears, but he never knew that it was such an extensive list. He counted them out and found out exactly how many phobias he had, and he was taken aback by how many there really were.
“Roxas, you have thirteen phobias…” Sora said softly, as if his brother would lash out at him for saying this. Both of them sat in the silence for a moment, Roxas starting to do a very good impression of a fish. There had to have been a mistake; Sora probably counted wrong, or he may have missed one.
“The-There’s no way! I…” Roxas grabbed the paper from his brother and counted them out himself, confirming exactly what his brother had just told him. Roxas was always afraid of that number because he thought that if he were to come across it, something terrible would happen to him. But now that Roxas thought about it, he had these thirteen fears for a long time now, and nothing terrible had happened to him yet.
What did this mean? Roxas hadn’t the slightest clue, but he did know now that maybe it wouldn’t be all that hard to get rid of his phobias for good. For all he knew, he could just be overreacting to some minor things. There was one way to find out for sure, and Roxas was determined to find out for sure. He took a deep breath, setting the paper back down and looked directly at his brother.
“Th-Thirteen phobias. I can handle that, no problem. In fact, I’ll start now!” Roxas said confidently, feeling almost as if he should have his struggle bat over his shoulder. “No longer will I be chained down by these phobias. In fact, th-thirteen is my new favorite number! I can do this Sora.”
Roxas sat up straight, feeling rather proud of himself.
-.:.-
In other news, I've lost and gained three - count 'em, three - role plays in one week. Yes, that's right. And now I shall go sulk in the darkest corner of my room...
Panophobia - The fear of everything
Cleisiophobia - Fear of being locked in an enclosed place
“Sora, I think I heard something in the closet!” the little blond boy called out softly to his brother on the other end of the room. The young brunette merely groaned weakly in acknowledgment, not giving any further response to his brother. Then, a small sound almost too soft to hear echoed throughout the room once more as the blond boy glanced nervously from his brother to the closet door. He got up from his bed quietly, and he swiftly moved to his brother’s side, shaking him softly to make him wake.
“Sora, please, I think there’s something in there!” he whispered harshly in his ear, tears threatening to spill from his bright blue eyes. Sora only rolled over to face his twin fully and looked at him with glassy eyes, sleep keeping him from properly waking, and he blinked tiredly. The blond boy let out a whimper as he turned back to look at the door again. His blue eyes widened as he saw the door open even farther before he scrambled out of the room, abandoning the thought of trying to wake his twin. As he ran out the door, he tripped on the raised rug that had been pulled up by the cat, and the sound of his fall finally woke his twin with a start. Sora shot up, surprised by the loud thump of his brother and he managed to catch a glimpse of Roxas passing their older brother’s door and prying open their parents’.
“Roxas, no!” he whispered as loud as he could. It obviously didn’t stop his brother, and so Sora scrambled out of his own bed to try and stop his twin from waking their parents. But Sora was too late, as Roxas had already made his way to the frame of the door and he was clinging to it as if it would comfort him.
A small stream of light from the hallway broke the darkness of his parents’ room as he slipped inside, Sora staying in the hallway behind him. He heard an angry growl come from the bed as the peaceful darkness was destroyed. Roxas cowered next to the door for a moment, creeping slowly up to the side of the bed. He froze in place though as he heard Sora’s small footsteps out in the hallway and he saw the figure rise up from the large bed.
“Roxas, what the hell are you doing?” the man raged at the young boy. Roxas stuttered for a moment, cowering below his father’s anger, and he was not able to form a reasonable excuse for the angry man.
“Never mind that,” he said with an angry sigh, “I don’t care why you’re up, and whatever it is, it’s just something your skinny ass made up. Now go. To. Bed! You too Sora!” The brunette in the hall squeaked softly as he was recognized as Roxas darted out of the room, closing the large door quickly behind him. He was breathing heavily and he looked quiet pale, tears in his brilliant blue eyes once more. Sora looked over his twin sadly for a moment before wrapping his arms around his brother’s small frame.
“It’s alright Roxas, Dad’s right, you were probably imagining it!” Sora tried to console his brother, but the tears were already spilling down his cheeks. He shook his head quickly, the blond spikes flying.
“No, Sora, I saw something! It was a monster or something else scary like that! It was in the closet and-” Roxas was shushed by his brother as they passed their elder brother’s room, both of them knowing it would be even worse than their father if he woke up. They made their way back into their shared room, hand in hand and Sora closed the door and flipped on the light. He moved over to his brother’s bed where Roxas had dashed to as soon as they entered the room and the light was on. Sora hopped up onto the bed next to his brother and let the blond cling to his arm for comfort. The five year old twins sat in a strange quiet for a few moments, trying to shake off the feeling of fear their father gave them, and Roxas was also trying his hardest to ignore the closet across the way.
“I-I was just so scared, and you wouldn’t w-wake up Sora!” Roxas cried softly, scared of being any louder than a whisper, lest any of the monsters dwelling in his house hear. Sora stroked his hair slowly, feeling bad for his brother, but he didn’t know what to do for him other that hold him so he wouldn’t get scared again.
They sat in the silence of their room; the only sound was Roxas’ small hiccups and sniffles as he tried to stop crying on his slightly older twin. Sora was only older by about fifteen minutes, but he sometimes acted like he was fifteen years old. He cared for his younger twin and made sure that he was safe and happy. As the elder of the two, it was his job to care for Roxas, but it was hard sometimes because they were usually left for themselves, and so Sora had to care for his younger brother and himself.
Their parents were either always working or in a very bad mood, and so they rarely had time with them. And their older brother Cloud was what their father expected to become a ‘no good, angst-ridded, good-for-nothing, back-talking, fecking lazy teenager’, so they didn’t see too much of the twelve year old when he was in a good mood.
Roxas had calmed down by then, apologizing to Sora softly as he let go of his arm and sat up straight next to his brother. The two five year olds were silent, just taking in the quiet of their room and the soft creaking of the house in the blowing wind outside.
“So, what did you see, Rox?” Sora asked his brother softly, finally coming to realize he had no idea what made his brother so scared. Roxas sniffed softly for a minute, collecting his thoughts. He turned to Sora, glancing over his shoulder at the closet fearfully every once in awhile.
“I saw a monster,” Roxas whispered with his head ducked down, as if he were telling a ghost story. “It was trying to open the closet door. That was the noise that woke me up, Sor. It was trying to eat me, and then it probably would’ve eaten you too!”
Sora gasped, genuinely interested and shocked at his brother’s story now. Monsters were big news, especially if they were in a closet in your own very house!
“You really think it would’ve had room to eat me too Rox?” Sora asked softly, wondering how big this monster had to have been.
“Yeah! It would’ve eaten both of us right up! We wouldn’t have had a chance,” Roxas said forlornly. “But I got up before it got out of the closet and we both got out of the room, so it had no choice but to go back in!” Roxas said with a watery smile.
“Whoa…” Sora said, both of them going quiet for a moment, mulling over that story. “Ya’ know, Rox? I bet I could’ve taken that monster! No matter how big it was or how fast it could eat us up!” Sora said with confidence, jumping to his feet and bending down to scoop up his wooden sword from the floor and he held it over his shoulder in confidence.
“Seriously Sora? You think so?” Roxas asked, amazed that his brother could fend off a scary monster like that.
Sora just nodded in agreement, showing his brother how tough he was. Roxas looked down at the floor, wondering if he could ever be as brave as his brother, and he suddenly smiled when he saw his own play sword. His bright blue struggle bat was lying on the floor, sticking out just slightly from underneath his bed. He stood up quickly, grabbing it from the floor and they both held their play-swords over their shoulders, smiling brightly at each other.
They shared a similar thought in that moment and nodded to each other, both cautiously making their ways towards their closet in question. They made as little noise as possible as they made their way over to the slightly ajar door. Both of the five year olds gulped nervously, but neither of them stopped until they both reached the door.
Sora reached for the handle first, grasping the cold metal knob tightly. He took a deep breath and threw the door open, rattling the wood on its hinges as it hit the doorstopper. They couldn’t see inside since it was so dark, so Roxas quickly grabbed a flashlight and shined it inside.
Inside the closet was - nothing. Nothing living at least, since the closet was inhabited by hangers and clothes. But neither of the twins was discouraged, and they just figured that the monster was hiding deep inside their closet. Roxas moved inside first, holding the flashlight in one small hand, and his struggle bat was outstretched in the other.
Roxas couldn’t stop himself from shaking as he stepped forward into the unknown, and he figured that the monster had either gone away, or was just very good at hiding. He searched all over inside, but all he found were clothes. He jumped suddenly when he thought he saw a shadow move toward the door, and he whipped around as fast as he could.
The next thing that Roxas saw was Sora’s worried face and the closet door slamming shut in his face. Roxas’s eyes grew wide and his heart rate quickened drastically. He didn’t know whether he should move or stay still, so he just stood shaking for a moment in the scary walk-in closet.
“S-S-S-Sora?” Roxas called, shaking uncontrollably. He waited a moment for his brother to open the door and smile at him jokingly, which Roxas would then pounce on him and shout for him to never do that again.
But Sora didn’t open the door. Roxas didn’t hear anything other than his own terrified breathing. He suddenly rushed forward towards the door, grasping the knob and trying to turn it to be set free of this awful place.
“Sora! This isn’t funny! Let me out!” Roxas yelled banging his fists on the door repeatedly, tears starting to well up in his eyes again. He started breathing faster and faster as if he were running for his life and the closet seemed to start spinning.
“SORA!” Roxas shouted, now clawing at the door, his bat and flashlight completely forgotten on the floor. He was hyperventilating and tears were running down his cheeks constantly. He couldn’t breathe; he couldn’t do anything but try to get out.
Roxas was starting to feel dizzy when he thought he saw someone else’s hand reach above his crouching form and turn the knob as if it was the easiest thing in the world. He suddenly saw the door open up to show the light of his bedroom before him and the next thing he knew, he was tumbling out of his closet, the door swinging shut behind him.
Roxas could breathe again, and he could finally wipe the tears from his eyes, but he didn’t see Sora in front of him. Where was his brother? He searched the room frantically, and his eyes landed on Sora’s bed.
There he was, lying there asleep as if nothing had happened, and he hadn’t woken up at all. Roxas was about to march over to him and forcefully wake him again, but he stopped short when he saw something next to Sora’s bed. There was a shadowed mass crouching next to his brother’s bed, facing away from Roxas at the moment.
His eyes widened as the shadowy figure turned its head around to look right at Roxas threateningly. Roxas wanted to start shouting so he could maybe scare it off; it was going to eat his brother! But Roxas was so scared that he couldn’t move a muscle, and his jaw locked in place. As he stood frozen though, he noticed that it was not attacking his brother, but simply…protecting him? It was stroking the sleeping Sora’s hair gently, as if it were lulling him to sleep. The figure stood and turned the rest of its shadowed body, showing itself to Roxas before turning back to the wall and disappearing into the rest of the shadows.
Roxas stood there silently, not knowing what he should do. He couldn’t stop his shaking, and the tears were still trailing down his cheeks, but he felt frozen now. He began wondering if he had just dreamed all of it, but he could still feel the tears on his wet cheeks and he knew he couldn’t dream that intense stare. The figure looked like a teenaged boy with long, slightly spiky hair, but his entire body, except for his eyes, was made out of a dark black and blue willowy shadow substance. His eyes were the one thing that really stood out to Roxas; they were just glowing spots, tinted with an aquamarine color, and they had bore into the five year olds soul.
What that thing was, Roxas couldn’t even begin guessing, but he knew that it obviously liked Sora, and it didn’t want to eat either of them up. It couldn’t have been the monster that was in his closet though, because it was supposed to be really big with huge claws and teeth. He didn’t know where it came from, or why it had the appearance of a teenage boy, but it was strange and unusual.
Roxas heard a small noise behind him and turned around slowly, hoping with his every fiber of being that it wasn’t the monster again. He expected the monster to be looming over him, teeth and claws just waiting to snatch him up. But when he turned around, all Roxas saw was his flashlight and struggle bat leaning casually against the closet door, as if they had been there all along.
He turned back around quickly, knowing that he had left them in the closet when he tumbled out, but he didn’t dare question it. He was too frightened to, and he decided on just silently thanking whoever had returned his favorite struggle bat and his flashlight.
Roxas made his way back to his own bed cautiously, crawling under the sheets and blankets and curling up into an almost fetal position. He only then realized how tired he actually was, and he felt himself slowly drifting into sleep. But the last thing he thought of before losing himself in the land of dreams was that the hand he thought he saw in the closet was exactly like the strange boy’s entire body was; shadowed and mysterious.
-.:.-
Polyphobia - Fear of many things
“Sora, I’m not too sure about this…” Roxas said softly as they sat in their sixth grade English classroom, both of them now eleven years old. It was their first year in middle school, and they had to transfer to a school across town since their neighborhood middle school was full. They had been given a beginning of the year assignment to interview a partner and learn all about them so they could be introduced to the class. Roxas and Sora were partners, obviously, and Sora had immediately volunteered Roxas to be the one who would be interviewed first.
“Oh it’ll be great Rox! Don’t worry,” Sora said with a smile as he wrote their names at the top of the piece of paper that their teacher had handed out. Each of the students was to fill out a chart for one another, focusing on a topic of their choice. Sora tapped the pencil to his bottom lip for a moment, wondering what their topic should be for Roxas.
“Hm, what should our topic be? Do you have any ideas, Rox?” Sora asked his brother with a smile. Roxas answered him by letting his head drop onto his desk and he let out a groan, not liking this project one bit.
Sora pouted at his brother’s reaction and opened his mouth to say something, when he was interrupted by they bell signaling that it was time for lunch. Sora smiled and hopped up out of his seat, stuffing his things into his bag and running around to his brother’s across from him. He yanked Roxas up to shove his things into his bag as well and practically started dragging him out of the classroom.
“C’mon Rox! If we don’t get there soon, the line will get too long!” Sora cried, finally getting his brother to stand up straight so they could rush down the hallways of their middle school.
They made it into the lunch room, Sora whispering a small prayer that the line wasn’t too long, and he instantly smiled as soon as he saw that his wish had come true. He dragged Roxas up to the end of the line, practically bouncing around while chanting something like ‘Yay for food, its delicious!’ under his breath.
Roxas rolled his eyes at his brother and looked around the room, trying to find somewhere that they could sit once they got their lunches. The tables weren’t too crowded just yet, and so there were plenty of spots that they could take if it didn’t take too much time to get their lunches.
While Roxas was looking around for a good spot, his eyes met with piercing aquamarine ones and he instantly shuddered inside. He saw bleary flashes of far off memories in his mind of moving shadows and aquamarine eyes as the boy he had made contact with smiled at him before sitting down next to a red-headed girl.
“Oh, Roxas, did you see somewhere we can sit? I hope we can make some new friends this year! I’m so excited, aren’t you?” Sora was bouncing around happily, his brunette spikes flying all over the place. Roxas decided to stop his search for empty seats to listen to his brother until they got their lunches.
They each got a sandwich with fries and a drink, Roxas being the only one of the two to actually stop at the salad bar. Sora waited for his brother, chatting excitedly as they searched for a place to sit. Roxas looked around, seeing a few good places they could sit, but he didn’t know where would be best.
He saw a group of older looking kids all talking and laughing with each other, but they looked pretty exclusive. Sora pointed out the table with the red-headed girl and the boy with aquamarine eyes, but Roxas wasn’t so sure he wanted to sit with him there. But when a trio of kids that looked their age sat with them, it didn’t seem so bad to try anymore.
“C’mon Sora, let’s see if we can sit there,” Roxas said softly as he started over to that table. Sora was practically skipping along behind him and when they got up to the table he decided to make it a typical Sora entrance. Roxas just sighed softly and waited for his headache to begin.
“Hello! Can we join you guys?” Sora asked, almost shattering Roxas’s eardrum. The trio and the red head all nodded politely, but the creepy-eyed boy grinned at Sora, practically demanding they sit. It kind of scared Roxas with how enthusiastic he was, but he didn’t comment as he sat down next to his brother. A moment later, a pale girl with white blonde hair sat down next to Roxas with a small smile.
“So, what’re your names?” Sora asked in between bites of his sandwich. Roxas rolled his eyes at his brother’s antics but he made sure to listen to their introductions.
“I’m Olette, and those two knuckleheads are Pence and Hayner,” the brunette said with a smile as she pointed to the other blond boy and the slightly larger boy, who were busy having an eating contest.
“I’m Naminé, and this is my sister Kairi,” the girl next to Roxas introduced with a wave as she motioned to her red headed sister, who also waved.
“I’m Riku,” the boy with aquamarine eyes said with a smirk directed towards Sora.
“What’re your names?” Olette asked politely. Sora and Roxas looked at each other momentarily before turning back to the others.
“We’re Roxas and Sora,” they said in unison, “And we’re twins.” Sora grinned after they finished their small show of twin telepathy while Roxas just rolled his eyes and chuckled.
The others at the table were wowed by their performance for a moment, expressing how cool they thought that was, and how they wished they had a twin too.
“So, who’s who? Who’s Roxas and who’s Sora?” Pence asked, wiping his mouth as he finished his food first, Hayner cursing silently as he had one last bite left.
They were about to answer, but surprisingly they were interrupted by Riku, who was still smirking lightly at Sora.
“Sora’s the brunette, Roxas is the blond,” he said as if it was the easiest thing in the world for him to figure out. The twins were taken aback for a moment before Riku explained. “I’m really good at logic puzzles and putting names to faces.”
Everyone who knew him beforehand nodded in agreement, but the twins still sat there stunned for a moment. Sora was the first to shake it off, and he quickly threw himself into the conversation, Roxas hanging back like usual. As his brother chatted with the others, Roxas finished his food and left to go put his tray back up in the kitchen.
He set it on the counter and turned quickly to return to his brother’s side but he turned just a bit too quickly and ran into a dark-haired girl. They both wobbled as they shouted in surprise, Roxas reaching out to catch her before either of them fell.
“Sorry about that! I didn’t see you there,” Roxas apologized quickly, giving her a small smile. The girl laughed softly, muttering something about her own clumsiness before she righted herself and set her tray on the counter as well.
“It’s alright; I didn’t see you there either!” She said with a smile as they both started to go back to their own seats. Before they parted ways, she turned to Roxas with a smile, holding out her hand to shake.
“I’m Xion,” she introduced herself with a smile as she grasped his hand in a firm handshake.
“Roxas…” he replied, almost at a loss of words at how forward she was. But he decided he liked her; she seemed different somehow.
“Well, it was nice to meet you Roxas,” she said as she released his hand, starting back to her table. “Maybe we’ll meet again sometime!” And with that she walked off.
Roxas went back to his own table, trying to make sure that he didn’t forget her name. She seemed like she could be a really great friend.
When he returned to his brother’s side, it didn’t seem as though he had missed much, so he just tried to understand some part of the conversation that was going on. Some of the kids in the group were talking about going to the zoo after school sometime this week, which made Roxas stiffen in fear.
“Do you guys want to come with?” Kairi asked with a smile, no one but Sora having noticed Roxas’s sudden change in posture. Sora chuckled nervously for a moment before scratching the back of his head.
“Well, um, you see…Uh, we don’t really like zoos,” Sora tried to explain casually while absently rubbing Roxas’s back, trying in vain to calm his brother down. Riku seemed to be the only one who noticed this and he started to stare at Roxas suspiciously.
“Why not, Sora? They just got this really cool new aquarium part of it!” Olette said excitedly.
“Oh yeah! And I heard that they’re planning on getting some otters in the zoo this week!” Naminé said with a smile as she thought about the cute creatures.
The rest of the group started chatting about how cool it was going to be now that they had made improvements. Roxas was shaking, the mere thought of-of those things made him want to retch. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t control his fear. He knew it reminded him of something, but he wasn’t sure what it could be, or why it made him so scared.
Since everyone was chatting happily, no one expected it when Roxas shot up out of his seat and sprinted out of the lunchroom. Sora stood up quickly after his brother darted out, trying to figure out what to do. Everyone was quiet, wondering what in the world happened to Roxas, and Sora apologized frantically before dashing after his twin.
“Roxas! Roxas, where are you?” Sora was searching through the halls of their new school, hoping that he wouldn’t get lost trying to find his younger twin. He started turning a corner that would lead to a hallway just passed the lunchroom, but he stopped short as he saw Roxas hiding behind a row of lockers, his arms curled around his knees.
“Oh, Rox…” Sora knelt down in front of his brother, pulling his form to his own in a tight hug. His brother was shaking uncontrollably as he tried to hold in his sobs.
“I-I’m sorry S-Sora…” Roxas said through his hiccups. But Sora simply shushed him telling him that it wasn’t his fault as he stroked his hair.
Roxas couldn’t stop himself from reacting this way, but he desperately wished that he could. There really was no reason for him to be so afraid of these things. And it wasn’t just what had him dashing out of the lunchroom; it was at least a dozen different things that he was unconditionally and uncontrollably afraid of.
They sat in the hallway for awhile, both of them trying to collect their thoughts as they just sat together in silence. Roxas faintly registered that he could still hear the loud chatter from the lunchroom, and he wondered if anyone from the table group had tried to come and look for them. After about five minutes of sitting in silence, Sora decided to speak up, shattering whatever false-comfort that had settled there.
“Hey Roxas, I think I found a really great topic for our project,” Sora said offhandedly, trying to calm his brother and distract him from his fear.
“Wha-what’s that?” Roxas asked as he wiped the tears from his eyes.
Sora looked at his younger brother with a hesitant smile before he moved his body so that he was sitting cross-legged in front of his upset brother. Sora just continued to smile at him for a moment before leaning in to tell him, as if it were a secret.
“We can do it on your phobias, and how we’re trying to get you not so afraid anymore!” Sora said happily.
Roxas just stared at him wide eyed for a moment, thinking that his brother had to have been joking, but Sora didn’t start laughing or falter in any way, so Roxas knew he must be serious. He was about to yell at his brother, completely ready to tell him off. He wanted to rant and rave about how stupid that was, and how it would never work, but he stopped himself before he could start the verbal assault. What if it did work? What if they could get Roxas to stop being so afraid? What would it hurt to try?
Roxas decided that it could actually work. It would be amazing if he wasn’t so afraid anymore, and he really couldn’t think of any way that it would hurt just to try.
“A-Alright Sora…We can try…” Roxas agreed softly, just before the bell rang to signal that classes were to start up once more.
-.-
“Okay Rox, first we should probably write out all of your phobias so that we know what we’re dealing with!” Sora said happily as they sat in study hall. Roxas shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Sora started labeling the sheet of paper with the title, ‘Roxas’s phobias’.
“Alright what’s first? I guess we can go alphabetically if you know it…” Sora said, completely aware that his brother had probably listed them in his mind in a certain way. Roxas always was a kind of perfectionist, and Sora was completely okay with that. He just sat in front of him, waiting patiently for his brother to start. Roxas nodded and began thinking of all his phobias.
“Well, I guess first would be Amychophobia…” he said softly, Sora looking at him in shock. “What?” he asked when he realized his brother was just staring at him, noticing that he didn’t write anything down.
“I didn’t think that you knew the names! I don’t even know how to spell that!” Sora said completely blown away by his brother. He shook his head offhandedly for a moment, trying to reason with himself that this was completely ‘Roxas-ish’. “Alright, what’s that a fear of?”
“It’s a fear of scratches or being scratched…which is why I never go near the cat anymore…” Roxas explained sadly, really missing the contact with his beloved pet. Sora wrote down the explanation before looking back up to his brother for the next.
“Um, then there’s Arachibutyrophobia, which is the fear of p-peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth…” Roxas said very softly, as if he was ashamed. Roxas despised his fears, and he knew that he was weak for having them, and having so many especially.
“Next would be Arachnophobia, the fear of spiders… and Atelophobia is after that, which is the fear of imperfection,” Roxas said, stopping to spell out the words for Sora to copy down perfectly. He winced slightly at the irony, but he didn’t comment on it.
Roxas went through them all. Athazagoraphobia, the fear of being forgotten, ignored, or forgetting. Catapedaphobia, the fear of jumping from high and low places. Cleisiophobia, the fear of being locked in an enclosed place. Ereuthrophobia, the fear of blushing.
When he got to Hippopoto-monstroses-quippedalio-phobia , the fear of long words, Roxas could not say it, even though he attempted to bout five times, all to no avail. In the end he just spelled it out and moved on. Hobophobia, the fear of bums or beggars, which Roxas was quite ashamed to admit, as well as confused, since he had only seen one hobo in town. Lutraphobia, the fear of otters which explained why he didn’t like zoos and left the lunchroom so quickly. Spheksophobia, the fear of wasps. And finally, Triskaidekaphobia, the fear of the number thirteen.
Sora wrote them all out, quite shocked at the number of phobias his brother had. He knew that Roxas had a lot of fears, but he never knew that it was such an extensive list. He counted them out and found out exactly how many phobias he had, and he was taken aback by how many there really were.
“Roxas, you have thirteen phobias…” Sora said softly, as if his brother would lash out at him for saying this. Both of them sat in the silence for a moment, Roxas starting to do a very good impression of a fish. There had to have been a mistake; Sora probably counted wrong, or he may have missed one.
“The-There’s no way! I…” Roxas grabbed the paper from his brother and counted them out himself, confirming exactly what his brother had just told him. Roxas was always afraid of that number because he thought that if he were to come across it, something terrible would happen to him. But now that Roxas thought about it, he had these thirteen fears for a long time now, and nothing terrible had happened to him yet.
What did this mean? Roxas hadn’t the slightest clue, but he did know now that maybe it wouldn’t be all that hard to get rid of his phobias for good. For all he knew, he could just be overreacting to some minor things. There was one way to find out for sure, and Roxas was determined to find out for sure. He took a deep breath, setting the paper back down and looked directly at his brother.
“Th-Thirteen phobias. I can handle that, no problem. In fact, I’ll start now!” Roxas said confidently, feeling almost as if he should have his struggle bat over his shoulder. “No longer will I be chained down by these phobias. In fact, th-thirteen is my new favorite number! I can do this Sora.”
Roxas sat up straight, feeling rather proud of himself.
-.:.-
In other news, I've lost and gained three - count 'em, three - role plays in one week. Yes, that's right. And now I shall go sulk in the darkest corner of my room...