My extremely long sorry and short story
A genie gave me one wish, do you wanna know what it was? I wished that everytime I said I was sorry the person I said sorry to would say "Its ok I forgive you" not "Dont ever talk to me again". I got that second part twice....in one day. Here is my short story and my appology. I change my wish. I hope everyone that this pertains to believes me.... (The story is call "Sorry")
"Sorry"
I wish I could go back. Go back to the day I changed my life forever.
It was December 19, 2003, the last day of school before Christmas vacation started. I couldn’t concentrate on my schoolwork. I couldn’t do anything but think about how much I hated being at home. That’s when I first did, first thought about it.
I saw the sharp end of my pen cap and I wanted to run it across my arm. I wanted to feel the wonderful burning sensation that it caused. I took of m pen cap, lifted my sleeve, and did it. I think about it now and I laugh.
I find it kind of ironic how no one saw. I did it for two hours. It was like no one was meant to see. Kind of like someone was shielding heir eyes and allowing me to do this without getting caught.
By the end of school I had four welts on my left arm where I had run the cap back and forth. Every time I looked at them I smiled. I had this feeling like I had accomplished something.
On December 24 I wrote my first poem. It wasn’t very long and it was very good but it was the first time that I had admitted to myself that I was a cutter. Of course no one knew and I was extremely alone but I was happy.
A week later it was time to go back to school and I couldn’t wait. In that one week I had realized how much I hated school, my friend, and on January 10, 2004 was my first suicide attempt. I didn’t get very far because my mom came home. I still have the scars and I’m glad because every time I see them I realize how stupid I was.
Over the next three months it got worse. I cut everyday. Deeper and harder then the day before. Then something weird happened. An old friend of mine started talking to me. I was extremely happy. I never realized how much I missed him or how much I liked him.
He was the first person I told that I was suicidal and a cutter. Of course he flipped and tried to help. Talking tom hime made me feel better, but it didn’t stop me from doing it.
On April 6, a week later, I woke up wanting to die. At school that day I took between 20 and 30 200 mg ibuprofen. I was hoping, praying, wishing that I would die. I didn’t and by the end of the day my whole family knew that I was a cutter.
By April 7 at 5:30 a.m. I was admitted into Harbor Oaks. I had told my mom that I had told Nathan (my friend). The next day she called him and yelled at him.
I felt horrible for hurting everyone but I still continued to do it. I had quit over the summer but I started again when I switched schools.
I never talked to Nathan until January 2005. We became really close. He asked me to promise that I would never do it again. I promised, willingly. But four and a half months later I broke that promise.
My Sorry>>>>>>I regret every moment of the past year and a half. I regret every line on my arm, every time I lied about it, and every time I didn’t apologize for it. I know that everyone is mad at me and I know you all wish that I wouldn’t do it. But not a single one of you know how much this hurts me. None of you know how many times I’ve called myself worthless, stupid, weak, and pathetic every time I caved in. None of you know how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep at night knowing what I’ve lost and what I could’ve had. None of you know how sorry I am and even after reading this you still wont believe me because half of you don’t believe a word I say. I wanted to let all of you know that I am getting better. You may not be able to tell by looking at me or my past but I am and I’m sorry, for every line, every lie, for every time I let you down, for everything.
I wish I could go back. Go back to the day I changed my life forever…
**If you're still in love with someone copy and paste this...anywhere**
"Sorry"
I wish I could go back. Go back to the day I changed my life forever.
It was December 19, 2003, the last day of school before Christmas vacation started. I couldn’t concentrate on my schoolwork. I couldn’t do anything but think about how much I hated being at home. That’s when I first did, first thought about it.
I saw the sharp end of my pen cap and I wanted to run it across my arm. I wanted to feel the wonderful burning sensation that it caused. I took of m pen cap, lifted my sleeve, and did it. I think about it now and I laugh.
I find it kind of ironic how no one saw. I did it for two hours. It was like no one was meant to see. Kind of like someone was shielding heir eyes and allowing me to do this without getting caught.
By the end of school I had four welts on my left arm where I had run the cap back and forth. Every time I looked at them I smiled. I had this feeling like I had accomplished something.
On December 24 I wrote my first poem. It wasn’t very long and it was very good but it was the first time that I had admitted to myself that I was a cutter. Of course no one knew and I was extremely alone but I was happy.
A week later it was time to go back to school and I couldn’t wait. In that one week I had realized how much I hated school, my friend, and on January 10, 2004 was my first suicide attempt. I didn’t get very far because my mom came home. I still have the scars and I’m glad because every time I see them I realize how stupid I was.
Over the next three months it got worse. I cut everyday. Deeper and harder then the day before. Then something weird happened. An old friend of mine started talking to me. I was extremely happy. I never realized how much I missed him or how much I liked him.
He was the first person I told that I was suicidal and a cutter. Of course he flipped and tried to help. Talking tom hime made me feel better, but it didn’t stop me from doing it.
On April 6, a week later, I woke up wanting to die. At school that day I took between 20 and 30 200 mg ibuprofen. I was hoping, praying, wishing that I would die. I didn’t and by the end of the day my whole family knew that I was a cutter.
By April 7 at 5:30 a.m. I was admitted into Harbor Oaks. I had told my mom that I had told Nathan (my friend). The next day she called him and yelled at him.
I felt horrible for hurting everyone but I still continued to do it. I had quit over the summer but I started again when I switched schools.
I never talked to Nathan until January 2005. We became really close. He asked me to promise that I would never do it again. I promised, willingly. But four and a half months later I broke that promise.
My Sorry>>>>>>I regret every moment of the past year and a half. I regret every line on my arm, every time I lied about it, and every time I didn’t apologize for it. I know that everyone is mad at me and I know you all wish that I wouldn’t do it. But not a single one of you know how much this hurts me. None of you know how many times I’ve called myself worthless, stupid, weak, and pathetic every time I caved in. None of you know how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep at night knowing what I’ve lost and what I could’ve had. None of you know how sorry I am and even after reading this you still wont believe me because half of you don’t believe a word I say. I wanted to let all of you know that I am getting better. You may not be able to tell by looking at me or my past but I am and I’m sorry, for every line, every lie, for every time I let you down, for everything.
I wish I could go back. Go back to the day I changed my life forever…
**If you're still in love with someone copy and paste this...anywhere**