26th Blood | It came from the Dairy Aisle!

[makemebreakfast]

[Phone | Unfiltered]

[In the evening, just before sunset begins, the groaning voice of a woman comes over the phones. She lets out a long groan once, then pauses for a moment before finally speaking.]If anyone's even still not in that thing...don't go near the blob stuff. It'll pull you right in

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Phone (Hope you don't mind the backtag!)

[walking_nuke]

[Sounding a little unnerved at first.]

I'm still here. Mostly. Had a few close calls.

[A beat.]

You're sayin' that ain't some kinda giant slime?

Like I ever fucking think badly of backtags c'mon

[makemebreakfast]

Well, I guess it is a giant slime.

It's also cherry flavored though, and kind of delicious.

[walking_nuke]

Yeah, but I mean, like'em slime moulds that eat anything. Like'a B-Movie crap. It ain't'at if you can eat it, right? It ain't gonna eat you back.

[makemebreakfast]

I guess it's not going to...but I kind of don't understand what you're talking about.

[walking_nuke]

What, you from some other world'an Earth? Or from before'a Fifties?

[makemebreakfast]

Uh...I've been around for more than 800 years...and I'm from earth.

I've just been asleep for a lot of it.

[walking_nuke]

[Ooookay. Another centuries-old person. He has to wonder if this might be another youkai from that Gensokyo place.]

Well, shit, you'd put Rip Van Winkle to shame.

Okay, well, this town's supposed to be set in'a Fifties, an'ey got theaters here, even'a drive-in types. You never went an' watched a B-Movie while you've been'ere?

[makemebreakfast]

Nope, I haven't seen any movies here yet that I can remember.

I might have the first time I was here...but those memories are pretty fuzzy.

Who's Rip Van Winkle?

[walking_nuke]

He's from'is story written like back in the 1800's. A guy who sleeps through'a whole American Revolution. I forget how long; ten, maybe twenty or thirty years? I dunno, I haven't read'at tale in a long-ass time.

[makemebreakfast]

Huh.

I mean, it's not like I don't learn about stuff that happened when I wake up. The world changes drastically every time I wake up to do what I have to do.

[walking_nuke]

Yeah, I getcha.

See, this is about'a time when'is famous horror movie came out about a giant blob from space that eats everything it touches. Kinda like a really overgrown slime mould. Movie got remade a few times, too.

So I was worried'at if I got caught in'at shit, it wasn't gonna be a fun end.

[makemebreakfast]

No, it didn't really do anything. I didn't even feel like I was going to drown.

But I found out it tasted good...so I ate my way out.

[walking_nuke]

... So it's, what, really some kinda cherry jello? But "alive" enough'at it can try an' swallow people, but it's also edible. An'-doesn't suffcate people inside it.

Shit, if I knew a Medic was here I'd try an' grab a sample for 'em to study, because I wanna know how'a hell'at works.

[makemebreakfast]

You're really not going to figure out how most of the stuff here works.

I'd say give up on that right now.

[walking_nuke]

[Balin responds with a slight scoff.]

Oh, I got ideas. I've had ideas'a first day I wound up'ere. But if I'm wrong an'is is really happening? I'd love'a know how they're doin' it.

[makemebreakfast]

It's likely being done by some form of true magic that has absolute dominion over this small reality.

Then again I could be wrong.

[She's in too much glutton pain to really want to think too hard right now.]