(no subject)
Title: Jesus Christ, What A Pretty Face
Author: makemebreak
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jon/Spencer, Jon/Tom if you squint
POV: Third person omniscient.
Summary: He was aware of the Memento vibe of the project. But it helped him remember when he couldn't sort his thoughts.
Disclaimer: The events and people described here are untrue and unowned by me.
Jon Walker was in Panic! At The Disco for one reason, and one reason alone. He and Tom Conrad got along. It had nothing to do with their facial hair, or ability to grow body hair. They watched. They had watched together for much of their semi-adult life. They toured together as band members, they toured together as talent and tech, and they were both keen observers of human interaction.
Together, they were a team, watching and passing observations the way some kids pass notes.
On their sidekicks, they'd IM back and forth from different areas of the same city, the same venue, the same bus.
Lady looks sad. Husband passed away, keeps looking at wedding ring.
Child crying. Parents didn't buy ice cream.
William is upset because he misses living with his parents.
The cameras on both of their sidekicks were constantly full, full of meaningless snapshots, which there was never enough time to load into their Hiplogs, that others would accuse them of taking to be pretentious. They laughed about it privately. Pretense was the furthest thing from their mind. How were they supposed to remember, to observe, without visual aid?
Jon had a Polaroid that he cherished. People didn't realize that was actually his favourite camera. There were others that took better quality pictures, but none that gave the instant gratification that came from that snap and whir. There were pictures instantly and Jon scribbled in the margins everything he could remember about why he took the picture and what it represented.
He brought it with him wherever he went, every country, every state. Sometimes it hung around his neck and William joked that he was a bigger tourist than Marla. Jon just smiled at the half-formed joke and carefully snapped a picture of William, looking very uncomfortable.
William is uncomfortable in his role. He misses being small. He hates having to be big. I can trust William. Page 37 thru 40
Jon had tiny block lettering that fit into the white space on a Polaroid perfectly. The snapshots lined his bunk and he would often leaf through pictures of his friends.
Nick wants what he cannot have. Nick has learned disappointment early in his life. Nick is trustworthy. Page 65
Pete does not understand people in the world. He sees only the bottom line. For him the bottom line is fast approaching. I want to help him. Page 2, 14, 41 thru 43
Jeanae is blind. Page 44
Tom trusts too easily and his pictures show it. Page 1, 14 thru 21
Sometimes lettering was scratched out. A fight could change things, more observation could change things. Sometimes an entirely new picture was taken. The caption was always different, sometimes bitter. Sometimes Jon wouldn't even keep the picture, not if he felt like that. It would invariably make its way to the subject of the picture.
Don't let the hand you hold be the hand that holds you down. Open your eyes and see.
Patrick cannot hide his feelings. His silence is protection, not indifference. Page 16-18
He was aware of the Memento vibe of the project. But it helped him remember when he couldn't sort his thoughts. He used them to remember that Johnny's biggest fear was to fail and that was why he wouldn't ever stop long enough to enjoy the fruits of his labour. He had a picture of Johnny in pajamas trying to get a FedEx sent out from a tour stop that reminded him of all of that.
When Mike told him that Panic! At The Disco would be joining them on the Truckstops and Statelines tour, Jon bought more film.
He ran through pack after pack trying to get Brent right. Under his pillow, there were many discarded, aborted attempts.
Brent is here because
Brent loves music but
Finally, he settled on Brent is here because Ryan will still tolerate him. This will end very badly for everyone. Brent doesn't love music or performing. He hid it under his thin bunk mattress and tried to sleep over the secret that he and Tom exchanged through glances every morning at breakfast.
When the news broke that Panic was about to be sans one bassist, Jon volunteered. It would be easy. He would show up, play, and not be obligated to do much of anything else. Plenty of time for everything he was interested in.
Tom continued to take pictures of everyone who would pose, and a few who wouldn't. He carried his digital camera in his pocket, for those views that were really breathtaking, in a common sort of way. But the people he wanted to remember, he took the Polaroids of. He had pictures of their dancers, the ringmaster, Ryan, Brendon, Amanda, and Brian.
Brendon dances because he has no one to impress. His parents haven't called in weeks. Page 51
Amanda wishes she didn't cry in her bunk at night. Her shoulder blades are always perfectly aligned. Page 48
Dusty has secrets about angels. Page 45
Ryan will follow the leader, but he needs to pick a leader. The rosevest was not stolen. Page 54 thru 65
If Spencer was half the Palahniuk fan he pretended to be, he would say he knows this now because Jon knows it. The truth is that he knows because he found Jon's box of pictures. Spencer didn't know if he was trying to be ironic when he put them into a shoebox, because that was something people didn't actually do. People put pictures in albums, or left them in their envelopes. There was no one, outside of teenage girls, who still put pictures into shoeboxes. And numbered them.
With page numbers. It wasn't hard to determine that those numbers corresponded to the notebook that Jon scribbled in from time to time. It was filled with many of the same fragmented observations, occasional pages filled with elaborate stories to go with pictures. What didn't make sense was why there weren't any polaroids of him. Jon had the standard, digital photos of him up in his bunk, some pasted onto the ceiling.
There were a few too many of them to just be considered friendly decoration. Some of them had obviously been taken without Spencer's knowledge. There were shots of just his shoulder, one of the corner of his mouth. They were free from any of the black printing. Spencer knows this because he turned them over.
When he flipped through the polaroids, he learned many new things.
His fame is deserved but he drinks to forget that. Page 3
She doesn't know he's in bed with her when she calls. She doesn't want to know. Page 3
Spencer stopped there. He didn't want to read, he just wanted to know who he had Polaroids of. Then he wanted an explanation.
There was no easy way to ask for one, especially from someone you'd known less than a year. So he went to the nearest drugstore and bought one of those cheap Polaroid JoyCams. With it, he took a picture of himself and wrote his own observation in the margin.
There are no Polaroids of him.
He left the picture on top of Jon's pillow in his bunk. The older boy had gone off on an expedition with Amanda and Brian, presumably to trail after and take pictures. After that, it was waiting. Spencer sat in his bunk and stared at the ceiling. It was incredibly void of anything but a picture of himself and Ryan when they were playing as just the two of them. Oh, how The White Stripes would've died to be able the play the way they had.
There was silence from John's bunk that evening, no scribbling of pens, no clacking of keyboards. For once, Jon had nothing to say. Spencer didn't even hear his sidekick flip open, and he definitely knew that noise better than he knew any other noise.
In the morning, when Spencer woke up, there was a picture taken of Spencer asleep in his bunk. It had been taken with Spencer's camera. In the whitespace, Jon's careful writing spelled out an inscription.
I never need to remind myself of anything about him. I know it by heart.
Author: makemebreak
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jon/Spencer, Jon/Tom if you squint
POV: Third person omniscient.
Summary: He was aware of the Memento vibe of the project. But it helped him remember when he couldn't sort his thoughts.
Disclaimer: The events and people described here are untrue and unowned by me.
Jon Walker was in Panic! At The Disco for one reason, and one reason alone. He and Tom Conrad got along. It had nothing to do with their facial hair, or ability to grow body hair. They watched. They had watched together for much of their semi-adult life. They toured together as band members, they toured together as talent and tech, and they were both keen observers of human interaction.
Together, they were a team, watching and passing observations the way some kids pass notes.
On their sidekicks, they'd IM back and forth from different areas of the same city, the same venue, the same bus.
Lady looks sad. Husband passed away, keeps looking at wedding ring.
Child crying. Parents didn't buy ice cream.
William is upset because he misses living with his parents.
The cameras on both of their sidekicks were constantly full, full of meaningless snapshots, which there was never enough time to load into their Hiplogs, that others would accuse them of taking to be pretentious. They laughed about it privately. Pretense was the furthest thing from their mind. How were they supposed to remember, to observe, without visual aid?
Jon had a Polaroid that he cherished. People didn't realize that was actually his favourite camera. There were others that took better quality pictures, but none that gave the instant gratification that came from that snap and whir. There were pictures instantly and Jon scribbled in the margins everything he could remember about why he took the picture and what it represented.
He brought it with him wherever he went, every country, every state. Sometimes it hung around his neck and William joked that he was a bigger tourist than Marla. Jon just smiled at the half-formed joke and carefully snapped a picture of William, looking very uncomfortable.
William is uncomfortable in his role. He misses being small. He hates having to be big. I can trust William. Page 37 thru 40
Jon had tiny block lettering that fit into the white space on a Polaroid perfectly. The snapshots lined his bunk and he would often leaf through pictures of his friends.
Nick wants what he cannot have. Nick has learned disappointment early in his life. Nick is trustworthy. Page 65
Pete does not understand people in the world. He sees only the bottom line. For him the bottom line is fast approaching. I want to help him. Page 2, 14, 41 thru 43
Jeanae is blind. Page 44
Tom trusts too easily and his pictures show it. Page 1, 14 thru 21
Sometimes lettering was scratched out. A fight could change things, more observation could change things. Sometimes an entirely new picture was taken. The caption was always different, sometimes bitter. Sometimes Jon wouldn't even keep the picture, not if he felt like that. It would invariably make its way to the subject of the picture.
Don't let the hand you hold be the hand that holds you down. Open your eyes and see.
Patrick cannot hide his feelings. His silence is protection, not indifference. Page 16-18
He was aware of the Memento vibe of the project. But it helped him remember when he couldn't sort his thoughts. He used them to remember that Johnny's biggest fear was to fail and that was why he wouldn't ever stop long enough to enjoy the fruits of his labour. He had a picture of Johnny in pajamas trying to get a FedEx sent out from a tour stop that reminded him of all of that.
When Mike told him that Panic! At The Disco would be joining them on the Truckstops and Statelines tour, Jon bought more film.
He ran through pack after pack trying to get Brent right. Under his pillow, there were many discarded, aborted attempts.
Brent is here because
Brent loves music but
Finally, he settled on Brent is here because Ryan will still tolerate him. This will end very badly for everyone. Brent doesn't love music or performing. He hid it under his thin bunk mattress and tried to sleep over the secret that he and Tom exchanged through glances every morning at breakfast.
When the news broke that Panic was about to be sans one bassist, Jon volunteered. It would be easy. He would show up, play, and not be obligated to do much of anything else. Plenty of time for everything he was interested in.
Tom continued to take pictures of everyone who would pose, and a few who wouldn't. He carried his digital camera in his pocket, for those views that were really breathtaking, in a common sort of way. But the people he wanted to remember, he took the Polaroids of. He had pictures of their dancers, the ringmaster, Ryan, Brendon, Amanda, and Brian.
Brendon dances because he has no one to impress. His parents haven't called in weeks. Page 51
Amanda wishes she didn't cry in her bunk at night. Her shoulder blades are always perfectly aligned. Page 48
Dusty has secrets about angels. Page 45
Ryan will follow the leader, but he needs to pick a leader. The rosevest was not stolen. Page 54 thru 65
If Spencer was half the Palahniuk fan he pretended to be, he would say he knows this now because Jon knows it. The truth is that he knows because he found Jon's box of pictures. Spencer didn't know if he was trying to be ironic when he put them into a shoebox, because that was something people didn't actually do. People put pictures in albums, or left them in their envelopes. There was no one, outside of teenage girls, who still put pictures into shoeboxes. And numbered them.
With page numbers. It wasn't hard to determine that those numbers corresponded to the notebook that Jon scribbled in from time to time. It was filled with many of the same fragmented observations, occasional pages filled with elaborate stories to go with pictures. What didn't make sense was why there weren't any polaroids of him. Jon had the standard, digital photos of him up in his bunk, some pasted onto the ceiling.
There were a few too many of them to just be considered friendly decoration. Some of them had obviously been taken without Spencer's knowledge. There were shots of just his shoulder, one of the corner of his mouth. They were free from any of the black printing. Spencer knows this because he turned them over.
When he flipped through the polaroids, he learned many new things.
His fame is deserved but he drinks to forget that. Page 3
She doesn't know he's in bed with her when she calls. She doesn't want to know. Page 3
Spencer stopped there. He didn't want to read, he just wanted to know who he had Polaroids of. Then he wanted an explanation.
There was no easy way to ask for one, especially from someone you'd known less than a year. So he went to the nearest drugstore and bought one of those cheap Polaroid JoyCams. With it, he took a picture of himself and wrote his own observation in the margin.
There are no Polaroids of him.
He left the picture on top of Jon's pillow in his bunk. The older boy had gone off on an expedition with Amanda and Brian, presumably to trail after and take pictures. After that, it was waiting. Spencer sat in his bunk and stared at the ceiling. It was incredibly void of anything but a picture of himself and Ryan when they were playing as just the two of them. Oh, how The White Stripes would've died to be able the play the way they had.
There was silence from John's bunk that evening, no scribbling of pens, no clacking of keyboards. For once, Jon had nothing to say. Spencer didn't even hear his sidekick flip open, and he definitely knew that noise better than he knew any other noise.
In the morning, when Spencer woke up, there was a picture taken of Spencer asleep in his bunk. It had been taken with Spencer's camera. In the whitespace, Jon's careful writing spelled out an inscription.
I never need to remind myself of anything about him. I know it by heart.