You're not the only one.
When I read what I wrote not even 2 months ago, I again see why I need this. "Serious" and "Fun" are two different things. I still don't want the first - at least not in the way we defined it. At least not now. I am tired of feeling tired. It is always a defeated feeling and that's just silly. It was so much better than that, but then comes that circular trap that has repeated itself for a year or two. I'm trying to find a way out of that. It was never me trying to find a way out of what was had - but something had to end that routine. We weren't getting anywhere. If we were, then things would be different. But I've been at a loss for a while as to what to do. Something had to change. And really, when there's all that time in the world, why would we use it to keep hurting each other? I care way too much, about you and me, for that.